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Angry child - help!

(4 Posts)
windmillasaurus Thu 11-May-17 18:49:00

My other half has just started to work away, offshore, 2 weeks at a time. He's been away before for for long and short periods of time but this time it's hit our four year old hard. He's upset and angry. This anger is directed at me and he's started to hit, bite and kick me. I'm looking for some advice on how to handle this. I know he's doing it because he missed his dad and usually have been asking him if he wants a hug when he starts. Sometimes he does other times he carries on hitting me. Should I let him, remove him from the room until he's calmed down, remove myself from him? I don't want to get angry at him but it's hard to stay calm sometimes. Any hints or tips on what I can do to help him?

Cakedoesntjudge Thu 11-May-17 19:15:45

Personally, I'd remove him from the room until he'd calmed down and then do the hug part and just keep the lines of communication open at all times.

My DS is currently going through a phase where he's playing up because my ExDP is being crap with him while he's there so he takes it out on me when he gets home so I understand what you're saying about understanding the reasons and not wanting to get angry about it.

I've found DS reacts best when I treat it normally. So bad behaviour gets him a time out/loss of privileges as per normal and then after the incident once he's calm I pop a film on and have cuddles on the sofa and ask him if he wants to talk about anything that's bothering him. I think it's important to keep as much routine in place as you can.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 11-May-17 19:19:34

Can you sit and make a photo album with him of pics of df and him etc? ? Then use it as a distraction when he gets upset /angry?

windmillasaurus Fri 12-May-17 18:19:57

Thanks both. Good suggestions. We're coming to the end of the first week and he seems to have calmed down a bit. I'm beginning to be able to preempt the anger which is helping. Lots of hugs and talks and clear boundaries seems to be the way forward. Fingers crossed this gets easier as this is our reality for the foreseeable future.

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