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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

My partner has no interest in our baby

15 replies

holly1983 · 30/04/2017 13:44

He will change her nappy or make a bottle but only if I ask if we go out I have to get everything ready bottles nappies etc

And when we're at home he doesn't play with her or pick her up and give her a cuddle or settle her to bed and if I make a fuss and ask him to she just cries because she has no attachment to him

This has been going on 3 months any advice?

It's not just her he is genuinely lazy he hasn't had a job more than 2 weeks of his life he doesn't do much and ends up getting sacked he does nothing except make more mess around the house leaves his rubbish everywhere

We're going to end up splitting up I've had enough HELP?

OP posts:

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thethoughtfox · 30/04/2017 14:31

He just has to put in the time with her and she will bond. You have to make the effort with the child first and have the resilience to keep going. When my DH misses bedtime and doesn't see dd for a few nights in a row, she will reject him. He has to work extra hard for her to want him to spend time with her again.

Twentyten2010 · 30/04/2017 14:35

So he doesn't work but you're still the one doing everything?

Have you had any time to yourself since the baby was born?

Short of talking to him (which I assume you've done) it doesn't sound like he wants to be involved in raising her and there's not much you can do to change that.

LIZS · 30/04/2017 14:38

How do you cope financially if he doesn't work ? He needs to engage with you the baby and reality of working. Are you both young? How old is the baby now?

Haffdonga · 30/04/2017 14:44

Holly, in the light of other concerns that you've posted about, it seems that you have a lot going on. Do you trust this guy with your dd?

I'd seriously consider telling him to leave immediately. Put your dd's well-being as priority.

holly1983 · 30/04/2017 15:04

No not really I have her 24/7 I struggle to find 10 mins to have a shower to be honest!! I do trust him but only in the respect that I'm never not there to have any concerns

I have income support and I'm looking for a part time job I'd love to work full time but I wouldn't feel comfortable going to work and leaving her with my partner to be perfectly honest

OP posts:

LIZS · 30/04/2017 15:11

Is he even looking for work? Presumably he can't get jsa if he is sacked or leaves so frequently.

icanteven · 30/04/2017 15:16

What do you get out of the relationship? You're basically supporting him with precisely nothing in return. Although to be honest, if he has some secret talent that makes you want to carry on with him, I would just go back out to work full time & let him cope. He is unlikely to put his baby in harm's way or neglect her, and she would get used to him pretty fast.

Let him be a SAHD until she's one & make a decision then.

My DH parents differently from me, but was a brilliant full time and part time SAHD for three years to our two dd's and our relationship is very equal because of it.

BackforGood · 30/04/2017 15:18

See, this

It's not just her he is genuinely lazy he hasn't had a job more than 2 weeks of his life he doesn't do much and ends up getting sacked he does nothing except make more mess around the house leaves his rubbish everywhere gives me a LOT more concern that your original question.
It's about attitude to life. Not sure why you are expecting him to be any different around childcare.

Haffdonga · 30/04/2017 15:43

Seriously, Holly. The more you say about your 'partner' here, the more the things you've said elsewhere are very concerning. You are saying here that you think there is a possibility that your dd is at risk from him. SS are already worried about your dd. You need to get away from him.

Better to lose a shit relationship than care of your dd.

leccybill · 30/04/2017 15:52

What first attracted you to him?

VerySadInside · 30/04/2017 15:58

Why on earth you would you choose to be in a relationship with someone who hasn't had a job more than 2 weeks of his life let alone decide to have baby with him? How can anyone find that attractive and think oh yes these genes desperately need to be carried on?

jess28593 · 30/04/2017 20:16

Weening with CMPA advice

Anything you can can't give?

What age?

What did you start with?

Before anyone looks at my previous questions DD IS ONLY 3.5 months I'm asking in advance and am waiting to see a dietitian first just curious about the above questions😊

jess28593 · 30/04/2017 20:17

That wasn't meant to be on this thread (new to this)

FrenchMartiniTime · 01/05/2017 12:11

Don't choose to be with a man who is lazy and workshy and then complain that when it comes to your child he his...shock horror...lazy and workshy, what did you expect?

Either leave or face the rest of your life dealing with the same nonesense, he won't change.

foxer · 01/05/2017 19:50

It's not just her he is genuinely lazy he hasn't had a job more than 2 weeks of his life he doesn't do much and ends up getting sacked he does nothing except make more mess around the house leaves his rubbish everywhere

Wow what a catch he sounds! LTB.

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