Can't cope with my 2 young children!(7 Posts)
Really need some advice before I go insane.
I have 2 young children ones 16 months and 7 weeks.
I feel like I am literally losing my mind I feel I can't cope any longer, partner works from 11-8 so he's gone all day, have no one that helps me out, we live in his mothers house at the moment while we try and get our own place so that's added stress as all she ever does is moan about how messy it is, and how much electric me and my kids use which is ridiculous, I feel like I am still a child and I get treated like one. I practically beg them for help both my partner and his mother but they just brush it off and assume because there my children means I can cope. They both moan at the fact I go out every other weekend to see friends, but if I don't get out and speak to adults without my children I will literally lose it.
I'm really at the end of my tether here I really don't know what to do but something needs to happen because I am so down all I do is cry and think of all the things I'm missing out on because it's just so hard to get my kids actually out the door it's just not worth the hassle.
Please does anybody have any advice.
1) see Dr and talk about possible post natal depression
2) Tell partner to a) help you more (if he doesn't go to work til 11, he could do breakfast and play with older one/ do some chores) and b) tell his mother to leave you alone
3) If partner won't help, is he really actually a partner?
We have this conversation all the time and he seems to think buy giving our eldest breakfast in the morning is helping. At his old job he used to work from 6-6 so we thought this new job would be so much better, but he makes so much mess sometimes and doesn't clean up after himself it's actually harder because I spend most of the morning cleaning his mess it's like I have 3 children, and as for his mother she is a very difficult woman she always thinks she is right in everything she says and because I live under her roof I don't want to disagree to much because we have nowhere else to live
to be fair, you didn't say that he did that in OP re giving breakfast
That is doing something
Clearly he's going to be home after their bed time so can't do that
Don't clean his mess. Go out with kids away from his mother
It's so tough with two at first. I'd say get out as much as possible even if it takes you all morning to get them ready. I used to take mine out for picnics all the time, it was the only way we got lunch! You're lucky to be going out with friends at the weekend, I'm lucky if I get out once a year without the kids.
Just because he works doesn't mean he shouldn't do his part..
Yes he can't do much after 8 but...
Before 11 he can do alot..
I'm guessing he gas weekends off? So yes I think you having every other weekend is only right and if they complain tough shit...
Do you breastfeed? If not maybe ask him to do the weekend night shifts? My partner does so I can get some sleep.. you both need sleep, sounds like you're stressed and lacking. I know he is working so it's hard.. but you are really struggling so he should be holding his hand out more and maybe encouraging you to speak to the doctors about all this. I started taking setraline for depression and it's nothing to be ashamed of... You will adjust it just takes time and it won't be forever...
Finally if he isn't supportive if think about maybe cutting him loose..
Can he not get them both ready, bag packed, watch them while you get ready, tidy up before he goes to work. Then you would be able to go straight out (maybe take lunch with you). You'll probably find things a lot easier if you're out the house most days.
I find it really strange he doesn't tidy up after himself.
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