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Worried mum in desperate need of advice

(2 Posts)
evee15 Tue 25-Apr-17 10:39:06

OK so we are moving house / area / schools 1.45hrs away, at first my two eldest didn't want to move then they came round to the idea and became excited helping us with decorating etc they see their dad near enough every weekend which is agreed between us which will continue, Me and their dad split when my eldest was 3 and this arrangement has been that way since with a few months of him not seeing them at all (his choice) since I told my ex about the move he has been difficult. Told me he wanted to discuss things then didn't bother not a word until 3 weeks later (3 weekends of my two eldest being there) he doesn't ring during the week to see how they are day to day, he doesn't involve himself with their school doesn't show for parents evenings etc. Again his choice, well actually, he and my two eldest have told me that he doesn't ring in the week as it's down to my boys to ring him.. so wrong imo. He doesn't involve himself in school life because, as he put it... I don't make him feel welcome!
Anyway my boys 8&9 came home this Sunday after a phone call from my ex saying he's ready to discuss the move with me for my two eldest to tell me once they got home they want to live with him!!!
I'm obviously heartbroken and don't know what to do.
My ex is the master of manipulation he's had 3 weekends to work his manipulation on them and now they have come home saying this.
My eldest has now told me he wants to move away but my 2nd is still undecided. I can't talk about it with them as I fear of putting them under pressure and pushing them away they have told me their reasons why they have said this and it's because they don't want to loose their friends. I have told them we will keep in touch and they will make more friends at their new school etc. I rang my ex after my boys told me about this I was livid and told him its not going to happen over my dead body. He is now or so I have been made to believe going through social services (something I don't know much about) as he thinks the move isn't in the childrens best intrests, which in my opinion is. It's a bigger house, better area, lower crime rate, it's a ideal location for children to grow up with better opportunities etc. My ex knows nothing about the area not entirely sure he knows where we are moving to! So I need some advice on what I can do and where I stand with all this. I'd be greatly appreciated.

Aquamarine1029 Wed 26-Apr-17 08:51:38

I wouldn't even consider letting them love with him. Your ex is just being an asshole. There is no way social services would take your kids away and have them live with a father who is barely involved with their lives. Ignore the bastard.

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