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Am I over reacting?

5 replies

strugglingonmum · 24/04/2017 06:40

First time posting... but I just need to know I'm not over reacting.

So, last year my business partner decided to try and steal a fortune off me and we are currently going through the legal process to try and get our money back but have run out of funds to pay our legal costs.
The trouble is he is also our landlord too and is evicting us and we have no where to go without retrieving our money first.
We are on our knees. Neither of us are working as it's folded business for both my husband and I.
My parents are very comfortably off, but are basically refusing to help me. I've only asked them to lend me the money, not give it to me.
I feel so hurt that I've said some rash things to them. Ive had pnd (my baby was 6 weeks old when my business partner decided to do this) and have struggled mentally.
They have now piped up that they have asked my sister to have my children - if I do anything 'silly'. I am, to say the least absolutely livid. It's like they want a sticker saying what wonderful grand parents they are. My sister and I are not close but more to the point - who the hell do they think they are - they are MY children.
I just can't get my head around the situation, they could quite easily help me through this, and I can repay them but because my dad is so mean with money won't - but appear to be trying to justify to themselves they are doing something for my children by asking this of my sister.
Am I over reacting, or is this outrageous?

OP posts:
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ArgyMargy · 24/04/2017 06:47

If you have made a will you will have decided who has your children if you and your partner die. If you haven't made a will you should do so. The decision is yours not your sister's or your parents.

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Mrsknackered · 24/04/2017 06:47

You know you are not overreacting.
There are so many issues in this post, that whether or not your being sensitive certainly isn't the main worry.
In regards to your parent(s) saying to your sister 'if you do something silly', were they supportive when you had PND? In my books, something silly means self harm/suicide, is this a concern they have but just badly worded? I can imagine anyone without any MH issues would be feeling very fraught at the moment.
I can't help with advice legally as I know nothing, but if your parents aren't willing to help, don't beg them. I'm sure someone will say 'they're not obliged to bail you out' but I know I'd do it for my children, and my parents most likely would too.
If they can't help you now then don't go out of your way for them in future.
If you are struggling with your feelings at the moment would you feel okay going to your GP?
I'm sorry this has all happened Op Flowers

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sparkleandsunshine · 24/04/2017 06:48

It's really sad that your parents don't want to help you out, they might want everyone to think they're wonderful grandparents but they don't seem to be doing a great job as parents right now!
You are right though, it's completely wrong of them to try and make decisions regarding your children's lives, not right!
PND is a horrible thing to have to go through and now they should be supporting you rather than bringing you down!!!
Can you speak to the council about having nowhere to go?
I'm sorry you've had such a crap time, hope things get better soon!!

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Sunshineandlaughter · 24/04/2017 06:49

You are not unreasonable at all to expect your parents to dig in and help you through a bad patch.

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Mrsknackered · 24/04/2017 06:51

Yy to previous poster. Go to your council and you tell them exactly how it is, you are being evicted and have absolutely no where to go.
They will either speak to the wanker landlord and put something in place, or you will be placed in a hostel.
Your DH may have to find somewhere to stay temporarily as it's likely they'll place you and the children in a hostel.
This is only temporary measures though. Are you likely to get money at the end of this OP, or is it 50/50?

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