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Classic mother in law quotes...What's yours?!

(616 Posts)
manuka Sun 11-Mar-07 16:06:59

Mine has just said this beauty - [with reference to 8month old dd who had woken from nap and was grizzling, clearly not going to go back to sleep] "Why don't you just leave her until she's screaming her head off?" !!! I thought that was a real corker and had to share that with you all!!!
She had in fact pooed herself and got stuck in a crazy position in her cot so on reflection I'm glad I didn't follow mil's advice.

justanuthermanicmumsday Tue 20-Aug-13 22:27:52

When I lose my rag and raise my voice with the kids or husband mil says " should a lady speak like this? She should have a soft gentle voice" . That really makes me mad so I shout louder up the stairs and methinks she needs to take the plane home and live with like minded idiots.

SarahLou78 Wed 21-Aug-13 19:54:13

Brilliant - I thought I was the only one with a mother in law like that!

Mine constantly mocks my decision not to feed ds sugary crap until he is bigger and knows what he's missing out on (he is 11 and a half months).

I could post 100s of comments but will stick with the latest one. During a visit to their house with a very active, full on ds she said to me "you SHOULD be really slim chasing him round all day like that". Im only a size 12!

crabbiepattie Thu 22-Aug-13 18:36:26

Said to MIL on the phone whilst still in hospital after having DTGs that the midwife had advised me to put the girls on a bottle beause of my inverted nipples and numerous attempts at latching on failing...

"Oh good!"

Jammee Thu 22-Aug-13 18:49:11

I did not realise this thread existed! This is made for me. I truly dislike my MiL.

I was holding by 7m/o DD when she arrived at our house. Without saying hello to me she stretched out her arms to grab my DD and said emphatically, "Come to Mummy."
I shot her a filthy look and made sure not to let go of my DD.

exoticfruits Thu 22-Aug-13 19:05:56

I find it very odd that it is only the mother's of boys who have peculiar sayings. Why are mothers of girls immune? My mother has just as funny quotes as my MIL- most would.

Pixielady83 Thu 22-Aug-13 19:21:59

Some of these are hysterical and some are downright awful!

My MIL has improved but some classics include:

upon the birth of a (much longed for) DD: 'oh well maybe you'll have a boy next time'. Said TWICE in the first week!

She once tried to correct me on what month DD was born.

After we resorted to ff after a terrible fortnight of trying and failing to establish bf and DD losing a scary amount of weight: 'well that's not going to help matters is it'

The worst was when DF now DH waiting for the offer to be accepted on our house 'I don't know what you're worried about, it's not your money is it'.


happydaze77 Thu 22-Aug-13 21:28:28

crabbiepattie what is it about MILs and wanting us to bottle feed? Jealousy perhaps? They want to get their mits on our babies!

Soundofraindrops84 Thu 22-Aug-13 22:11:19

Dp, mil, mil husband, dps grandmother and great aunt and I out for a meal and had 10 week old ds with us. I was having dessert and mil turns round and says "go and stick his dummy in the cream and put it in his mouth and see what his face goes like"
She repeated twice after dp and I both ignored the comment!

I was mortified as you'd expect shock angry

Notsoyummymummy1 Fri 23-Aug-13 21:43:19

After we announced my pregnancy to MIL she said "but I thought you were saving for a kitchen?!" Literally that was the first thing she said!

slenderman Fri 23-Aug-13 21:47:55

dh said he wished he had a dog to take out for a walk, mil said 'you can take slenderman'

when i said i was tired, told me i didn't know the meaning of the word.

lotsofcheese Fri 23-Aug-13 21:50:55

My MIL is a real gem. Here's a few of her classics:

"Women with young children work for foreign holidays & fancy cars". Yeah right, I drive a clapped-out piece of shit which we can't afford to replace. Even with me working confused

"Pre-prepared vegetables are wrong. It doesn't take a minute to peel & chop a carrot". Fuck off!

"You are pathetic, just pathetic" to my unwell 2 year old. Bitch.

superbabysmummy Fri 23-Aug-13 23:51:25

This is a corker, haven't read all messages on thread but of the ones I have, I know some of you will relate!

Not MIL but an Aunt talking about my now 25yo cousin... "Completely potty trained by 5 months".

She was aghast that 9.5 month old DD still needed a nappy change - WTF!

LadyBoleyn Thu 29-Aug-13 03:00:37

Hay guys sorry is might be long as my MIL is a nightmare....ok my DH and I have been married for two years and his mother was fine with me until dec 2012 Mil and Fil had used some of there air points to send me and DH on a small holiday it was very thoughtful of them as they could have used the points for themselves so we went on the trip and we where delighted to discover i was pregnant again ( i had lost our daughter at six month invetro two years before we married) and I started to think something was up with my MIL as she would ring every hour on the hour to ask what we where doing "have you been to the beach?" "Have you tried that restaurant?" It was intrusive but I let it go I think she was just trying to make sure we were having a good time we stayed there for four days and when we got back all hell broke loose in my personal life I had to go out of town for four days for work and when I got back my father told me that my sister (18 yrs old)was in the ICU in hospital and the doctors had just told him to start the arrangement for her funeral my partners where devastated! so I when to stay with them for a week and a half mind you it was getting close to Christmas so I ran my mothers house for her as she did not leave my sisters side until she pulled thought thanks to god! Now three days before Christmas DH told me that my MIL expected "personal" gifts so I went out and brought (from the both of us) my FIL a few books that he wanted $150.00 and my MIL $200.00 worth of cooking oils so Christmas Day comes around and I started to bleed I was having another miscarriage I was crushed mum helped a lot hugs and what not so I made it thought the day but when we got to my inlaws house my MIL corned me demanding why I not called her or written to her to thank her for the holiday? I said that I had been very busy with my life and my business but we both enjoyed the holiday very much she just would not shut up about how much I had disappointed her she even got her bitchy daughters to add there two cents worth when my DH stated "can you leave LadyBoleyn alone we have just lost another baby for gods sake!" She states "oh my god! I'm so sorry for you MY son this bitch is murdering your children!" " turns to me "put a fuc*king sock in your crying you murderer!" She then turned back to DH "I'm the only one who can give you kids!" I was shocked as her daughter started to laugh and point at me! That was the Christmas from hell a few months after that she called my DH to see if he was still alive for fear I had killed him "like the b*tch had done to YOUR babies!" She had called the police and everything stating that I had killed his children and was scared for his life the police can around to our house demanding to know where the bodies where I had to call my doctor (thank god she is a kind lady) to tell them what ACTUALLY happened the police then sent me a gift basket to say sorry! Lol sorry that took so long! Wow that feels better! Oh and they didn't think the gifts I gave them where "personal " enough and what did they get me? A pair of socks from the dollar store! Lol there are so much more but I think I might run out of room soon lol

LadyBoleyn Thu 29-Aug-13 03:05:18

My DH has got her checked out for any mental illness or cancers but she is all clean so she is just a nasty bitter twisted old BITCH!!!!

LemonLovely Mon 02-Jun-14 20:25:46


littlefrenchonion Wed 13-May-15 10:38:04

DH (then DP) and I saying goodbye to PIL at the airport as we were about to go backpacking to India for 3 months:

MIL: "Ohh! Look at all the paki's going on their holidays!"

At Christmas, after handing me two advent calendars, one cheap and cheerful, the other quite lavish:

"This one (the lavish one) is not for you, it's for my boy, ok? You aren't to eat it!"

About 8 years ago on being introduced to MIL and co: "You need to know, if you fall pregnant, you are to tell us immediately, you won't be having an abortion, you'll be giving the baby to us". My face must have been a picture!

The phrase that currently sends me into a silent seething rage is: "Where's my baby? Let me hold my baby!" (DD is 12 days old).

Oh I really can't stand her.

littlefrenchonion Wed 13-May-15 10:48:33

Also, the most recent one would be in hospital after pre-eclampsia, failed induction, traumatic c-section an early baby in the special care unit and DH and I emotional and physical wrecks, I received a delightful text to remind me that "I know you are having a lovely time getting to know DD in hospital but it's not fair of you to keep her from us. She's our granddaughter, we need to see her!" I asked for no visitors, I was in no state to see anyone. Her need to see her grandchild when I'd only held her a few times myself was the least of my worries!

That one will not be forgiven quickly, I'm sure.

Trooperslane Wed 13-May-15 16:34:02

My MIL is awesome. My poor departed DM not so much.

She tried really hard but came out with some corkers.

Re my wedding. Lovely neighbour down the road's dd got married same day as us.

DM "me and dneighbour were talking about the weddings... I told her it was an AWFUL day" (it rained for about half an hour).

Me: DM, how would you feel if someone said that about your wedding day?

DM don't be so bloody self absorbed.


proudmama2772 Thu 14-May-15 16:47:38

'You don't need a car'

THen SIL said, "No mum she has three kids and she will need a car." As if I wasn't even there.

When I was at her house once my 13 year old started getting lippy with me. I told my daughter that she shouldn't speak to me that way - I wasn't yelling or anything but clearly displeased.

My MIL practically shoved me out of her house saying she didn't need to listen to us fighting with each other.

Lozy79 Thu 14-May-15 19:40:08

Mil, 'I can't help but find breastfeeding discusting'
Me, shock

CPtart Thu 14-May-15 19:56:51

"Gillian recommends you have a look at that Gina Ford book, write this down, have you got a pen? Gina Ford. She uses it, she was struggling like you. Have you written that name down?" I wasn't struggling hmm

"Eat your dinner. Sit down. Eat your dinner. Leave him to cry. Sit down.".and on and on and on...

"Never mind this internet nonsense. You just can't beat a good old Pears dictionary".

"If you're just prepared to wait, you don't need to pay full price for anything". Damned right though!

PopTarts Thu 14-May-15 20:08:35

Oh I've had a few gems from
Mil before I managed to put her in her box !

'If I tell my son to leave you, he would because he's a good boy who listens to his parents' (he didn't)

'You had children to stay at home on benefits' (I don't)

Nasty cow.

PopTarts Thu 14-May-15 21:27:33

And I think that killed the thread, such was the effect of the mils venom grin

Treesandbees Thu 14-May-15 21:45:53

Recently had our 20 week scan for DC #2. Called MIL with update and told her we were having a girl. Her response was a long pause before saying 'oh how disappointing I wanted another boy'.

Then for my birthday she sent me a newspaper clipping which was titled 'Suffer sleep deprived hell when you welcome your second child'. Our current DS isn't the best sleeper so that hit a nerve and pretty much ruined my birthday.

She's a peach!

SmirnoffVice Thu 14-May-15 21:50:53

"What was your name again?"

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