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Wtf do I do??!! Absolutely terrified!!

(71 Posts)
lifesjoys Fri 21-Apr-17 11:01:11

I'm the same poster who posted a thread about being a single mum wanting help!

Well, it's getting bloody worse & im at a loss as to what to do.

My baby slept on my chest last night, not for me, not because I think it's cute but solely because when I put him in his cot, he screamed. Took him out, consoled him & put him back in countless times yet the screaming started again.

At 2am after a big feed, I finally gave up, put him on my chest & we both fell asleep.

Well, I then slept walked with him sad I dreamt I was looking after 2 other babies & went to look for them all the while carrying him too!

Then, now this is where I don't know if it was a dream or not but I woke up in bed with him on my chest as expected however his face was pressed in my chest (he is more than capable of moving his own head, automatically turns to the side) & I had to blow on him to get him to breath!!

Wtf!! I can't risk having him on me anymore yet he won't sleep in his cot!!
I can't bear to try CC, especially as he's only 25 days old.

Someone please help me, tell me what to do. Even if it was a dream, it's still scared the shit out of me & I can't take any chances.

bingandabong Fri 21-Apr-17 11:10:58

Didn't want yo read and run and I'm sure others will be on with better advice, but have you tried: putting something that smells of you in the Moses basket? Like a Tshirt?
Have you tried raising the Moses basket slightly by putting a folded towel or top under the mattress so image is a bit raised incase of reflux?
Congrats and sorry you had a scare xxx

bingandabong Fri 21-Apr-17 11:11:32

Sorry for typos rushing xxx

roundtable Fri 21-Apr-17 11:15:55

Can you get an emergency appointment with your gp? You can't carry on like that.

It does sound like reflux if it only happens when laid down. You must stress to the gp the severity though. Could you take someone with you?

Sophia1984 Fri 21-Apr-17 11:16:09

It does sound like it could have been a horrible dream. Are you breastfeeding? If so, you could look into safety guidelines for co-sleeping. It's a lot safer to plan to co-sleep - for example both sleeping on a firm mattress on the floor with no duvet (you can wear a jumper to stay warm) - than it is to get so tired you could fall asleep on the sofa. He may be happier sleeping next to you but not on you than in a cot. Good luck x

Timetogrowup2016 Fri 21-Apr-17 11:18:03

Are you bf?
Can you bf lying down . Let baby fall asleep and sleep next to baby.

lifesjoys Fri 21-Apr-17 11:32:36

He's on gaviscon for suspected reflux, only been a few days since he started on it.

I've got a monitor mat, will it still work if I put a pillow under the mattress??
(Sounds silly worrying about that when I have him on my chest without one!). I'm just so scared now.

I put a hot water bottle under his blanket to keep the mattress warm until he went in it (obviously took it out when he went in) but straight away he screamed.

I think I'm coming to the realisation that he's just a baby who likes to cry for no known reason, I know that sounds weird but yesterday I decided to jump in the shower whilst he was asleep in car seat (I could see him from the shower) & he woke up, screamed, then fell back to sleep, he did this a few times.

Then this morning I had to put him in cot to make a bottle, he screamed & then suddenly went silent, so I ran back in to check & he was led there happily talking to himself!

Timetogrowup2016 Fri 21-Apr-17 11:35:42

They don't cry for no reason.
It's their only way of communicating with you .
They cry for
Hunger
Tired
Uncomfortable
Comfort

Have you tried a swaddle

lifesjoys Fri 21-Apr-17 11:37:16

Tried it last night, he screamed so loud I thought he was in major pain, it wasn't, he was just trying to break free.

NoCapes Fri 21-Apr-17 11:39:27

First of all you breathe

Does he have a dummy?
Could you get one of those cribs that attaches to your bed? So he's with you but safer
How does he sleep? (On his back/in a sleeping bag/swaddled etc?)

NoCapes Fri 21-Apr-17 11:40:05

You say a cot - you don't mean a full size cot at less than a month old do you?

Timetogrowup2016 Fri 21-Apr-17 11:40:11

A dummy was also a life saver here .
Can take babies a lot of time to get used to it however . My dd didn't take to it straight away but I kept going with it every sleep time and eventually she got that sucking it comforted her to go to sleep.

At 8 ish months she could re insert own dummy and it was a game changer .

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Fri 21-Apr-17 11:41:35

You poor thing. Proper, planned co-sleeping is much safer than falling asleep with the baby on your chest so I think you need to start assuming you're going to co-sleep and get set up for that

here's a good link

archersfan22 Fri 21-Apr-17 11:42:10

This might sound weird, but have you tried darker coloured sheets in Moses basket? I always think that after being in a very dark place for 9 months going into a bright white basket must be a bit strange for them.
I had to make some sheets for my crib because it was a non-standard size and I bought some single sheets and cut them down - can't remember now why I got dark colours rather than white or pastel but with hindsight I wondered if it helped.
Please ask anybody you know to help eg take the baby out for a walk during the day while you nap etc etc.
I remember having odd dreams etc - once I dozed off, husband (who was awake) sneezed and somehow my exhausted brain turned the sound of the sneeze into the sound of the baby crying. Husband confirmed baby had been fast asleep throughout and had not crying.
I also used to wake up thinking I was holding the baby, when he was actually in his crib. Very strange.

CrazedZombie Fri 21-Apr-17 11:47:06

Is he swaddled? You basically wrap them up so that it feels like they are in the uterus.

Have you tried white noise or similar to help sleep? Ds2 slept next to the dishwasher and washing machine when he was very young (his brother preferred a hairdryer) and when sleeping in his room, he slept with an iTunes track of rainfall in the background.

He slept with one end of the cot slightly raised and when ex was in business we coslept with him next to me.

passingthrough1 Fri 21-Apr-17 11:56:49

I'm not sure what advice I can offer but mine was like this. He cried constantly. I could never put him down so basically I barely ate, showered, looked after myself... he still (9 and a half months) won't go in a cot and we co sleep safely on a mattress on the floor. At the start because of his reflux (he screamed all night, every time you had him in a pram, basically any time he was lying down) I slept upright with him on my chest. I was in the middle of the bed with covers far away. It's a very natural and comforting position for the baby but I'll admit having my partner there to keep an eye was reassuring for me.
Baby wear in the day, it took me a while to get into it but if I have a second with reflux I don't think I'll have them in anything but a sling or baby carrier for the whole day bar night.

GuinessPunch Fri 21-Apr-17 12:04:34

Mine was/is like this.
I started by sitting up on the sofa with him in my arms but that didn't last long.
He sleeps for beginning of the night in side sleeper and sleepyhead. Once he wakes at 1 ish he will cry in his bed. So I put him in the bed next to me. Boob in mouth and he sleeps and I don't have to move or wake up properly during his numerous feeds.
We sleep similarly to this.

passingthrough1 Fri 21-Apr-17 12:05:31

Oh and mine liked the cocoonababy, it's raised for reflux.

VimFuego101 Fri 21-Apr-17 12:05:41

You poor thing. I really feel for you, I can't imagine dealing with this on my own. I think you need to set yourself up for safer co sleeping - people on here mention side by side cribs and/ or snuzpods that let the baby lay right next to you. I would also try tilting the crib as someone else mentioned in case it's reflux causing the crying.

Perhaps Homestart could help too - they don't provide babysitting as such but maybe they could be an extra pair of hands around the house for a couple of hours a week.

SueGeneris Fri 21-Apr-17 12:06:04

Poor you. These days are very hard and you are on your own. Its so much responsibility. I would definitely look at safe co sleeping, no pillow near baby, as someone else said, sleep in a jumper, possibly a sleeping bag on your lower half. I used a bed guard in the edge of the bed when they were very small (made sure there was def no gap baby could get into). You could kind of cuddle him into the crook of your arm on his back then sidle a little further away when he's asleep. Also second dummy idea. I had heard but don't know if it's true that dummy use was associated with lowers SIDS risk.

I had little success getting any of my 3 to sleep in a Moses basket or for at night.

LapinR0se Fri 21-Apr-17 12:10:02

This is really serious. Some of the previous posters are downplaying it but if you had to blow in your baby's face t get them to breathe then it was really not a good situation.
Babies don't like going to sleep on their own. This is a fact. You can try:
Sleepyhead in a bedside cot
Prop the head of his mattress slightly to help with the reflux
Reflux medication (gaviscon is really not very effective)
Dummy
Pat to sleep
Making sure daytime naps are good as am overtired baby will not sleep.

memyselfandaye Fri 21-Apr-17 12:18:13

Agree with trying a dummy, and you don't need to warm the cot up with a hot water bottle, babies overheat very easily and even though you remove the hot water bottle before you put him in the cot, it probably is'nt a good idea to use it anyway.

Funnyface1 Fri 21-Apr-17 12:18:39

If it is reflux they can give you better stuff than gaviscon. I don't think gaviscon is very good and it constipated small babies so then they have two painful problems. My baby was given ranitidine and it was brilliant. She slept in Moses basket then moved to cot, she's 7 months and I've never had to sleep with her. Go back to the GP and get help, you can't go on like this, it's not safe to sleep like that.

purpleviolet1 Fri 21-Apr-17 12:20:50

Mine is 5 weeks old and with my dm and dh on hand to help I have still found it very overwhelming so can't begin to imagine how you feel.

Can your mum take him for a few hours to allow you to sleep?

Keep going with the reflux medication and expect him to be unsettled for a few days yet as it will take time
To work

In the meantime though :

Dummy - keep tapping it until he gets the hang of 'latching' on. Hold in his mouth once latched until he is properly asleep

Swaddle blanket

Sleepyhead - second hand ones on gumtree for about £60. No experience but read several recommendations

Probiotics - one sachet per day mixed in the milk. I've got the optibac probiotics. Can get from Superdrug , boots, Holland and Barrett or amazon

Infacol before feeds

Nelson colica relief for massive crying episodes

It does get easier when you get to know them better. It's normal for babies to cry but not so much that they are constantly crying. For your ds you need to focus on trying to keep him sleeping so do try all the suggestions about having him sleep 'on a slope'.

Hang on in there!

purpleviolet1 Fri 21-Apr-17 12:22:04

Also try speak to a doctor on the phone today and tell them there is absolutely no improvement and could they prescribe omeprazole or rantitidne?

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