Feeling Insecure(3 Posts)
My husband and I have a spirited, lovable 4 year old boy and are expecting a little girl in just four weeks time.
We dont have many friends but the three other couples we do often spend time with are supportive, kind and more than enough. Some of us went to school together and have been friends for more years than we care to imagine and they've all got children of a similar age.
We're not in each other's pockets but I would go as far to say we were close.
We live in different parts of town and our children are all at different schools. It's of course understandable that my girl friends will have friends outside of our usual group but I've not found this very easy at all. I'm not very socially confident and although my son has been at playgroup for two years, there is not a single person in the playground I feel okay to stride up to and start chatting with. I've exchanged words with other parents but never been able to get beyond this.
I suppose it is only natural that at a time when the subject of school placements and change has come up, I might be forgiven for feeling a bit uncertain of things and perhaps being a bit sensitive.
However, I've just seen on Facebook that two of the couples I am very close with have been on a day out to a kids theme park without so much as a word to me or my other mate.
I know we're not duty bound to do everything together but this is a place we discovered as a group last year and really, really enjoyed. My son and I would have loved to have gone back.
I've no idea why nothing was mentioned! Perhaps they think I'm too pregnant to waddle round somewhere like this for the day? Perhaps I've done/said something that's not yet come up? I'm clueless!!
The first I knew about it were pictures of them all having the most lovely time together on social media. The day they went my boy and I spent mooching round the house bored trying to find something to do to entertain ourselves during the holiday.
I'm hugely hurt not to have been asked along. I just can't see why they wouldn't have and its left me wondering what I could have done for them not to want me there.
These three couples are kind of my only friends (sad but true!) and to find that they don't want me out with them is making me question, well everything really!
AIBU? Have I a right to be upset? Where do I go from here?
I don't think you go anywhere. It's not a slight or a slur on you; they probably don't realise that they make up the whole of your social life, it may just have been one of those spur of the moment things, that they happened to do because they were there iyswim. Or they may have assumed that you wouldn't want to go so soon before your due date (I know I wouldn't have). The best way of nourishing this friendship- which you say is important to you- is not to react at all.
Of course you are right! Reading the whole thing back and reading your thoughts have given me a bit more perspective on the matter. I think a vast majority of my issue is in fact pregnancy hormones and I've let them get the better of me.
glad I had an anonymous wobble on here rather than aging anything to the people involved. Think I would have felt like a bit of a pillock saying it any more out loud!
I feel better now, thank you x
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