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Question about autism

(27 Posts)
justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Sun 16-Apr-17 14:17:26

My brother has autism. He lives quite far from me now so I only see him a few times a year. I am understanding his autism more now that I am an adult and I just stumbled across an article about autism which listed a trait which is definitely > interrupting others.

So he does this quite often and I normally correct him in which I am normally told to shut up grin

Should I correct him? My mum doesn't. Is there any point?

He is 18 btw. Thanks

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber Sun 16-Apr-17 14:39:07

Not really a question about autism is it?

justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Sun 16-Apr-17 14:54:25

Yes it is. It is an autistic trait of his and therefore I am wondering how I should react... because he has autism hmm

Feelinglikeafailure Sun 16-Apr-17 15:00:10

Tbh, I'd never heard interrupting others is a trait. And anyway, autism isn't an excuse for rudeness.

BarneyRumbleton Sun 16-Apr-17 15:02:42

My son has autism. He doesn't interrupt but if he did, I'd correct him. A behaviour that doesn't come naturally can be learned in many cases.

Devilishpyjamas Sun 16-Apr-17 15:05:13

Depends on how far along the spectrum he is. It is appropriate to correct some and not others.

Devilishpyjamas Sun 16-Apr-17 15:05:53

Actually autism can be an excuse for rudeness hmm

Teabagtits Sun 16-Apr-17 15:16:43

It's hard when you have a point you want to make and conversations make move on so fast. Knowing when it's your turn to speak can be near impossible so sometimes all we can do is but in. There's nothing wrong with highlighting social convention is to wait until another has stopped speaking but you probably need to allow him the opportunity to join in, in a far less subtle way than you'd have to with NT conversations as we often miss our cue. It may be long biter breaks between points/sentences or even recognising the signs he wants to participate before he actually cuts in. I get quite bouncy and antsy just before buttingnin and mostly at because the others aren't allowing me a route into the conversation. As a result I often just don't participate because people call me rude. We can't bloody win.

Teabagtits Sun 16-Apr-17 15:17:21

Depends on how far along the spectrum he is
The spectrum is not linear you are not on a fixed point.

Poshsausage Sun 16-Apr-17 15:26:22

My son has autism he interrupt all the time this could be down to a combination of impulsivity or lack of social cue awareness . Like lots of things he has to learn it can take a looooonnnggg time for anything to go in

Feelinglikeafailure Sun 16-Apr-17 15:31:54

Actually autism can be an excuse for rudeness hmm

No. Autism can be a cause of rudeness. I'm well aware of that! Doesn't mean I let my ds get away with it without pointing it out and making him think.

peachcool Sun 16-Apr-17 15:34:44

Understanding when to take your turn in conversation is a massively complex social skill and very difficult for a person with autism like myself to get right. Sometimes I do interrupt, because I am fixated on saying something and I can't communicate in non verbal ways on how to say it. Sometimes I'm impulsive and just blurt things out regardless if someone else is talking. I tend to be better at taking turns with people who know me well, because they have learned that it's important to give me a pause which is my cue to talk.

I don't think it would be helpful to just correct him every time, because it would feel like being told off and he could feel humiliated. It's hard enough trying to understand the social rules as it is, without being constantly reminded how bad you are at it. I think it's better to address the situation as part of a role play, where he knows that his social skills are the issue at hand, and to practice it in a less pressured situation. If you don't actually live near him then I'm not sure it would be that helpful for you to be involved. There might also be social skills groups for adults available, depending on where you are.

Devilishpyjamas Sun 16-Apr-17 15:43:34

My point was that for some people on the spectrum learning the finer points of manners is appropriate. For others it is not.

My son is 17, severely autistic, non-verbal and frankly can interrupt as much as he likes. We are currently trying to teach him to communicate pain - so for him turn taking on converation is a complete irrelevance.

For others learning the ins and outs of social expectations may be a worth while activity - and there are many variations inbetween.

So whether it is appropriate to pick your brother up on interrupting depends entirely on your brother.

There is no such thing as autism - it's autisms

zen1 Sun 16-Apr-17 15:43:37

No. Autism can be a cause of rudeness. I'm well aware of that! Doesn't mean I let my ds get away with it without pointing it out and making him think.

Well, that strategy would only work if the person concerned had the insight and capacity to 'think' in those terms. Not everyone on the autism spectrum does.

HecateAntaia Sun 16-Apr-17 15:47:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgainstTheOddsNo2 Sun 16-Apr-17 15:47:45

Every time u read a thread about autism I read a new trait that I have (undiagnosed).

I try not to interrupt but as preachcool said it is a massively complex thing to do to realise when it is appropriate to speak up and when it is right to shut up!

Devilishpyjamas Sun 16-Apr-17 15:48:59

Yes exactly zen. And even if they understood they may not have the self control to do whatever is required.

If my son is making my ears ring yelling so loud I can't think (or over people attempting to have a conversation), I say 'what do you have to be?' - and he says 'shh' then immediately yells again. grin

zen1 Sun 16-Apr-17 15:56:52

Devilish - my DSs all lack impulse control as well (even the 2 high functioning ones). You can tell them something a million times and know they've understood, yet they seem unable to change their behaviour / responses / ability to keep their mouth shut in inappropriate circumstances.

youarenotkiddingme Sun 16-Apr-17 15:58:43

Interrupting isn't an autistic trait.

Not knowing when is appropriate to join a conversation is. Therefore sometimes joining it at inappropriate moments or sometimes working it what you want to say but due to language processing missing your 'turn' in the exchange.

My ds got really frustrated when we were at his psychologist last the other day. He wouldn't/couldn't answer what was asked. So pysch asked me and ds got frustrated because my words prompted him to think of things to say but "he wasn't sure when it was appropriate for him to pitch in!"

Devilishpyjamas Sun 16-Apr-17 16:26:21

Zen - yeah for ds1 I have found impulse control and anxiety to be more problematic in terms of accessing life than his very severe autism TBH. I sympathise. And of course if you can talk well the lack of impulse control is more hidden to others. We get 'well he shouldn't do that' so god knows how much kids with HFA must come across that idea!

Iris65 Sun 16-Apr-17 16:35:32

There is no such thing as autism - it's autisms

The National Autistic Society disagree.

There is a specific set of characteristics which are common to a greater or lesser degree in those who are diagnosed, this can be called 'autism' in general discussion amongst non specialists. I think that applies to discussions on MN.

I am a psychologist who has studied at a Russell Group University and worked in clinical settings.

And I completely agree with the statement that the level of intervention regarding social skills depends upon the individual's specific needs.

Iris65 Sun 16-Apr-17 16:37:11

interrupting isn't an autistic trait Where on earth do you get that idea? There is a lot of variation in how social difficulties manifest amonst those with ASDs.

EggysMom Sun 16-Apr-17 16:44:47

Our 7yo is severely autistic, non-verbal, and has learning difficulties. We are teaching him that sometimes he has to wait when wanting our attention; but then we make sure we do give him full attention within 1 minute, so he gets to lead us to whatever he wanted. It's a way of teaching him manners but in a way he'll understand.

youarenotkiddingme Sun 16-Apr-17 17:11:10

The diagnostic criteria does not say "interrupts conversations". It says unable to understand and partake in appropriate two way conversation and understanding when it's turn to speak or when to stop talking or when the listener is no longer engaged.

Interrupting is something someone with autism may do - but that's due to misunderstanding social contracts of conversation.

justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Sun 16-Apr-17 18:23:07

Thanks for all the responses which have heightended my understanding of my brother and also how I react to some things in the future.

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