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End of my tether!!!

(21 Posts)
sammyjayneexx Sun 16-Apr-17 02:44:18

Can't cope. Seriously sleep deprived. My son is 10 month old and he's never slept through the night. He gets up 3 times in the night for breastfeeds to get him back to sleep when he wakes 3 times.....but normally settles to sleep after a breastfeed for 2 hours at a time. But the last 2 days he just want sleep. He's up all night. I feed him and he falls asleep on me then I put him in his cot and he screams and stands up screaming. I don't sleep tonight for the second day running and I have 4 other children to look after. He's on my bed messing about now and I can't sleep or co sleep anymore because he could get up as fall off my bed and really hurt himself so I can't fall asleep. I can't put him in his cot because he just screams and wakes all my other kids up I can't cope I feel like just walking. Away. My husband is snoring away and gets to sleep. I ask for his help and he's says 'there isn't anything I can do, just leave him to cry' I'm fed up. He's currently climbing all over me in my bed. What's wrong with him? This can't be Normal

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 16-Apr-17 20:03:25

Could it be a developmental leap and he's about to walk? Or could he be unwell?

Don't let your DH get out of helping. Hace a read of 12 alternatives for the all night nurser. Tank DS up tonight if it's not too late. Lots of Bfing before bed, try him with something like oatibix and cow's milk? Can you express to leave for in the night? If DH can't settle him, could he take him out for a drive or walk to give you a break?

If DH is off tomorrow, make it really clear that he's to take all of the DC, including the baby, out tomorrow so that you can sleep.

chloechloe Sun 16-Apr-17 20:52:52

You poor thing! It could just be developmental. DD1 did a similar thing at 8-9 mo where we had three hours of party time from 1am. Nothing absolutely nothing would get her back to sleep. Then it just stopped overnight.

Hang in there, it's a phase and you'll get through it. If your husband won't help during the night then insist on lying in in the morning and having the baby brought to you for feeding only.

sammyjayneexx Fri 21-Apr-17 04:03:57

Having a bad night again. I tried not to feed him to sleep at midnight and just to rock him to sleep. He fell asleep in my arms and then I tried to put him bald in his cot and he cries and screams. If I leave him to cry he will scream all night. So my husband has now took him downstairs and is letting him play and I'm not allowed to enter the front room or my husband will 'kick off'
He told me I should go to sleep but how the hell can I go to sleep when he's lying in the sofa and the baby playing when my husband could fall asleep and the baby is unattended so now I have to sit in the stairs and listen out. I'm sick of it. I've had Enough. I actually feel like throwing myself down the stairs. Nothing works to get him to sleep on his own. He behaves like a new born. My husband thinks letting him play all night is going to help. I'm exhausted but can't go to sleep like that. Now my husband with be grumpy and snappy all day at me. If he stopped thinking about himself and didn't spend 2 nights as week at the gym maybe he could help settle the baby so he is not so reliant on me. I'm left with the baby all day as well when he working. But he won't give up the gym for no one.

sammyjayneexx Fri 21-Apr-17 04:07:47

My husband doesn't help, he just makes things extra difficult. Feel like just ending it all

sammyjayneexx Fri 21-Apr-17 04:08:13

You can't reason with my husband at all!

sobeyondthehills Fri 21-Apr-17 04:09:15

Are you still breastfeeding?

sammyjayneexx Fri 21-Apr-17 04:09:42

Yes I'm still breastfeeding. He won't take a bottle. We have tried.

sammyjayneexx Fri 21-Apr-17 04:36:16

He's now asleep on the sofa with baby and I have to sit in the stairs keeping an eye out coz I can't go to sleep knowing he's asleep on the sofa with the baby. I have the school run as well at 7 so looks like I'm going to struggle. Pissed of at my husband that now he's the one who gets to sleep

sammyjayneexx Fri 21-Apr-17 04:40:03

Never felt this way before but all this stress is actually making me feel like I want to harm myself. I hate my husband, he's a nasty piece of work.

whothefuckhas5children Sat 22-Apr-17 07:40:49

Sammy - it's tough when you have a baby. I've been there and with 5 too (youngest is over 1 now). What age are your other children?

Can you sit down with DH and talk it through with him?

Do you have a playpen to put the baby in when he brings baby downstairs? That way you won't have to sit on the stairs worrying.

Have you talked to your health visitor or gp? You're mentioning self harm in a few of your posts and I'm wondering if you had PND on any of your previous babies.

whattheactualfudge Sat 22-Apr-17 07:52:46

Who How awkwardly inappropriate is your username right now?! confused

whattheactualfudge Sat 22-Apr-17 07:53:14

Sammy Are you ok?? X

DevilsDumplings Sat 22-Apr-17 08:00:29

Sammy please get some support in rl. Are there any friends/family who could help. Have the baby overnight perhaps. You sound dangerously low in mood. Please reach out in rl.

whothefuckhas5children Sat 22-Apr-17 08:07:32

what it's my normal user name. I do have 5 children myself and the name refers to me. I'd overlooked that it might cause offence here.

sammy apologies if it caused you offence.

user1492600522 Sat 22-Apr-17 08:32:09

Hey Hun, just so you know you are doing brilliantly even though you feel like you've hit rock bottom, you're a goddamn star!

My DS (now going through what seems like a months sleep regression @ 18mo) at that age was pretty much the same. I ended up becoming so tired I became quite unwell. My DH was the same, sleeping through it all, off to the gym saying it was his coping mech and working. I was often told it was my job and just to get on with it.

One evening I hit a fever whilst DS was doing is usual routine of not sleeping and screaming the neighbourhood down. I called a friend whom just came over for the night. Took DS in the living room and soothed him as best she could so I could sleep, she thought I would need the hospital but I knew it was the 2 weeks of little to no sleep. When he wanted feeding she gave him the bottle, he never used to take it but instead of hunger, survival instincts kicked in. Humans can be stubborn bastards but when push comes to shove that is what it is.

I slept the night through whilst she sat downstairs calming him, feeding him and finally he feel asleep in our travel cot. I woke at 6am just about ready to continue with life.

Sometimes telling DH does something sometimes not so much. Mine never helps even today so you're not alone with useless DH. Remember this though @sammyjayneexx you are wonderful and though you don't want to hear they all rely on you and you're the glue that keeps them together- you are. You've got all the power and are doing everything on your own. A hero! Take a break, write all your feelings out. Scream into a pillow if you have too- don't let your negative mind take over because if you haven't noticed, it's not you can't do this- you already are.

Tardigrade001 Sat 22-Apr-17 08:40:24

Put a mattress on the floor and sleep on it with the baby. You need to have the option to safely co-sleep when you need it. It saved my sanity with dc2 and 3 (dc1 was a nightmare similar to yours till he was 2, and insisting that he sleeps only in his cot didn't help).

Your baby may be teething, and feeling that you are next to him helps a lot.

sammyjayneexx Sat 22-Apr-17 12:02:26

Thanks you everyone. I put a pillow on the floor and a blanket next to his cot and I was singing to to him and he did sit down and put his dummy in and he has a t shirt of mine that he always uses as comfort and I thought this is great he's actually saw me lie down and he's doing the same but then all of a sudden he stands up and starts screaming Again, I did continue with the singing and lying him down but he wasn't having it so that's when my husband took him downstairs.

User that was very good of your friend to help you like that. It's not good being ill as well as having a baby that won't sleep. We have tried a bottle with him 3 times and he just pushes it away and then plays with the teat like he's inspecting it or something lol
We have co slept when he was a new born and up until he started to become mobile but I'm worried that he will fall of the bed if he wakes up before I do

sammyjayneexx Sat 22-Apr-17 12:07:56

I do need to go back to my GP because I am worried about how low I'm getting. I've always had anxiety and I was given anti depressants and I was told it wouldn't affect baby in breastmilk but it's best I stop breastfeeding just so it rules that out but I didn't want to stop breastfeeding then ( baby was less than 6 months old then) so I didn't take them. I'm still breastfeeding so I don't know what to do. I have never felt like this before tho, I feel like I have got worse and some of the thoughts of it being easier to just end it all have been frequent recently. I feel like the GPS are fed up with me so I've been scared to go back. I have been going for a few years due to a lot of physical symptoms I've had but they tell me it's all in my head because my tests are normal so it doesn't help.

Sophia1984 Sat 22-Apr-17 21:14:48

You absolutely can take antidepressants while breastfeeding- I'm on 100mg of sertraline and it's a huge help for my anxiety. Also, my nearly 9 month old is such a fast mover but we co-sleep and I always wake up when he moves even slightly. As others have said, you could sleep on mattress on floor if you're worried. Co-sleeping is only thing getting me through this phase!

whothefuckhas5children Sun 23-Apr-17 10:56:46

Sammy please go back to your GP. You also need to talk to your husband but maybe it would be better to do that when your on anti depressants. flowers

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