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My husband 'bad mouthing' me to our 5 yr old

(3 Posts)
MumOfTheMoos Tue 11-Apr-17 23:31:28

This may be nothing but I am feeling a little uncomfortable about it, so I've turned to Mumsnet.

I was putting my 5 yr old to bed tonight, which I do every night and we were chatting in that way that you only get to just before they go to sleep and my son says that sometimes Daddy is grumpy with him (his Dad was looking after him all day today and as a freelancer does more holiday childcare than I do) and that today his Dad told him that he was just like me because he doesn't ever listen either.

Now, that DH gets grumpy with hi from time to time is hardly a crime, though he's not as patient with our son as I am. And our son is not always the greatest listener. And whilst I might say it's the pot calling the kettle black, I know DH thinks I don't listen to him.

But I am uncomfortable with him complaining to my son about me and then labelling my son as being just like me. I'm not worried that it will damage my relationship with my son but my husbands.

DH and my relationship hasn't been brilliant over the last few years and he is seeing a counsellor, at my insistence, because he kept suddenly getting disproportionately angry with me in front of our son. But, to his credit, he has been trying very hard. He lost his job about 18 months ago and has only in the last 5 months or so got freelance work. Things are beginning to look up for him and I thought things were getting better.

It's just that, however difficult I've ever found DH, I have never, ever complained about him to or in front of my son.

My father was a violent, alcoholic who abused my mother yet, although she never denied what he did never ever slagged him off as a father to me - it was the best thing because I came to my own opinion about my father but never felt conflicted loyalty.

When my son told me, I laughed it off and said that Daddy was a bit of a rascally ragamuffin.

I feel sad and I'm not sure what to do - should I bring it up with my husband? Generally, he's a great Dad so I do t want to start telling him how to parent but I feel uncomfortable about it having happened- am I over reacting?

ShineyNewName Thu 13-Apr-17 15:14:54

Definitely bring it up. It's not on and is bad for your son in the long run. You're definitely not overreacting.

HalfShellHero Thu 13-Apr-17 15:16:58

Bring it up definitely not on , Its deliberately undermining.

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