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AIBU to give up on toddler classes for good?

(10 Posts)
KatLovesCats Mon 10-Apr-17 12:48:53

Okay I know this isn't AIBU, but am I? I've always tried to get out to groups or classes a couple of times a week. I try to do a variety of things with DS who is now 2.5. But apparently he hates everything! He just wants to play at home, go for a walk to the shop or play in the garden/the park across the street. He doesn't do structured play apparently - just sits on my lap looking grumpy, doesn't want to join in and is a general stroppy misery at groups and classes.

But if I don't take him I feel like a total failure! It feels like everyone else's kids enjoy classes and behave themselves and engage - except mine. I find it hideously embarrassing when he acts up and frustrated when he won't even try to join in. So I've decided not to go anymore - but will he be the only kid his age not going to classes? Am I letting him down somehow if I just don't take him anymore? He'd rather go on a bus ride to Costa every day to be honest blush

MessyBun247 Mon 10-Apr-17 13:16:33

It sounds like neither of you are getting anything from the groups. I just wouldnt go. He'll get much more out of doing activities he enjoys so just follow his lead smile

SecretNortherner Mon 10-Apr-17 13:21:19

I went to lots of groups with my baby...he's hated all but one, so Only go to that one. It's unfair to keep forcing them to go if they clearly don't enjoy it. If you have friends with kids a similar age to yours try play dates so your son can socialise. Don't force him to go to groups if it's that obvious he hates it.

ShutTheFridgeUp Mon 10-Apr-17 13:21:45

I didn't do any toddler groups at all. My DD always enjoyed trips to the park, supermarket and town with the occasional play date or soft play session.
I don't feel love me she missed out on anything. She started nursery recently and has settled in brilliantly so hasn't affected her ability to interact with her peers at all.

BettyOBarley Mon 10-Apr-17 13:26:31

I wouldn't take him personally if he dislikes them so much. I'm sure we wouldn't have been taken to all these things when we were toddlers and we all survived!

I took my DD to loads of groups, soft play, messy play, dance etc and she's still had a hard time settling at nursery and shy interacting with the other kids so I don't think it did us any favours.

2014newme Mon 10-Apr-17 13:32:19

Aw my friends son was like this. He was later diagnosed with autism obviously I'm not suggesting that just because he isn't a fan of organised fun that's the issue

If he likes the bus ride stick with that!

SpookyPotato Mon 10-Apr-17 15:51:23

I went to a rhyme time once and never went back, DS just isn't a sit down toddler! He loves parks, shops, farms etc. They don't need baby/toddler groups and no not everyone goes to them. I've been to the local stay and play a few times and there's hardly anyone there. They'll be getting their structured time at pre-school/school when that starts.

KatLovesCats Mon 10-Apr-17 16:28:36

Thank you all! Will try and find stuff to do locally together more rather than groups and try not to feel bad about it smile hopefully he'll be alright when he starts pre-school a few days a week in September!

TwatteryFlowers Mon 10-Apr-17 16:39:32

I never did any classes etc after the initial things like baby massage and baby yoga. I felt it was too structured and formal and hated sitting near, but not being a part of, a group of mums who knew each other, talked to each other and went off to each others houses etc after the class. It just made me feel more isolated and lonely. Instead, I did what you're suggesting: trips to town on the bus, lunch in a cafe, wander round the shops, play on those rides (but I never actually put any money in), trips to the park, walls around museums, visits to the garden centres, outings to NT or EH places locally (along with a bank loan to get a sarnie and a drink from the tearooms lol) etc etc. We also spend a lot of time at home and in the garden. I don't feel guilty. They appear to be happy, confident, well-rounded and sociable children (unlike me!) and I never felt like I had to stick to a rigid timetable of groups, classes and meetings where I felt like little more than an outsider.

DorotheaHomeAlone Mon 10-Apr-17 16:46:45

We went to the odd singing session at children's centre or library and some messy play sessions and playgroup chaos in a church hall. Mine are nearly 1 and 2.5 and never been Tina single formal class of any kind. Both happy, confident and sociable and settled well in nursery (2 days a week). We love the park, water play in the garden, a trip to the shop, maybe a friend over to make pizza or bake. You sound good to me.

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