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DD has dumped BF of 7 years - I need words of comfort for her

(6 Posts)
BabyHare Fri 07-Apr-17 16:43:47

My DD is 26 and has been with her BF for 7 years. In that time she has completed 2 degrees and started a really good job. She is living in her own house. He moved in last October and things seemed ok. He has NEVER had a job or learned how to DRIVE (he is 27). We have welcomed into our home with open arms and he has spent Xmas's with us, Easter etc etc. However we recently found out that he has been dealing Class A drugs for a while and we have asked him to move out which he has (My Dad owns the house). She has now not only asked him to moved out but also dumped him.
We all know (even she does) that it is the best thing for her and probably him in the long run but at the moment, she is heartbroken. Any advice for me to give her please?

Aquamarine1029 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:06:06

I would simply express how sorry you are for her heartbreak, but at the same time commend her for making the absolute RIGHT decision. This guy sounds like a class A loser who would have ruined her life. She needs your support to ensure she doesn't get back with this degenerate.

ImperialBlether Fri 07-Apr-17 17:11:16

He really had her in his grip, didn't he? All that work she's done over the last seven years and he's done nothing except deal drugs. She's well rid, obviously, but pretty soon she will feel the full horror of putting up with complete crap for so long. She needs to be surrounded by good friends, now, and to mix with men who are similar to herself.

SweetChickadee Fri 07-Apr-17 17:19:00

DH's mum told him when he was a young thing and splitting up with a long term girlfriend to treat it as a learning experience - every relationship teaches you what you do and don't want in a partner in your life.

So take lessons from it and go forward, a little bit wiser.

Msqueen33 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:21:47

Sounds like she's made a sensible decision albeit at this time a hard one for her. I think maybe you just need to reassure her of that. But be understanding as to how hard it is whilst secretly thinking thank god she's not marrying a useless man child.

Mummybear8 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:26:13

Your daughter sounds like she has her head screwed on and knows she has done the right thing.
I envy her bravery, because I've been in this situation and it's hard, it took longer than 7 years for me to realise this was not the life I wanted.
I'd be proud of yourself as a mother that you've raised her to have self respect and dignity, because honestly, if 7 years isn't enough to make you buck your ideas up and sort your life out when your partner is trying their hardest to make something of their self, then I doubt he ever will.
As far as comforting her is concerned, I would just reassure her you are there to listen and not judge. Maybe do some nice mother/daughter things together like afternoon tea or a spa day to take her mind off it?

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