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Is there a prefabale age to become a parent

(5 Posts)
Flowergirl96 Thu 06-Apr-17 15:21:48

Hi everyone
I am 21 years old and I am in a long term relationship with my partner who Is just a few years older than me.
He wants a child but I don't feel ready yet although sometimes I think it could be cute.
We don't have our home yet. We're trying to save money.
What age range is most appropriate or is it more important to be comfortable financially first ?

clarabellski Thu 06-Apr-17 15:45:40

I don't think there's such a thing as a right or wrong time to have children. Everyone's circumstances and what they want from life is different.

Obviously there are biological factors to consider (the older the mother, the harder it is to conceive statistically), but at 21 you are quite a way off having to focus on those factors too much!

Redyellowpinkblue Thu 06-Apr-17 15:54:14

As pp said, there are so many variables and every situation and perspective is different. Personally my husband and I didn't consider having children till we had secure jobs, decent income, stable and long term roof over our head and had felt that we had learnt enough about the world and experienced enough of it and life in general to be able to properly raise a child. I didn't feel ready till I was 28 and for us the timing was right and I don't wish I'd done it earlier but glad I didn't leave it much later to start a family as it's proven to be a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be and takes a lot of energy!

justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Thu 06-Apr-17 16:02:47

I am 25 with two DDs. I had my first just before I turned 23.

We had a home together although rented and a mortgage is on the cards.

Although my first was a surprise I don't regret it one bit although I do regret we didn't have many holidays together. In fact we didn't have our first holiday abroad together until I was early pregnant. Pregnancy kicked us up the bum I guess!

You don't sound ready yet. I would really enjoy some more time just you two and do things you can't do so much when you become a family. Of course you can still do many things as a family but it is a whole different ball game!

Maybe ask yourself in another year.

Scotinoz Fri 07-Apr-17 14:19:52

I don't really think there's an optimum age, it's all down to personal circumstance/choice.

That said, I had my first child at 36, and looking back my life would have been incredibly different if I'd had a child at 21. I did an enormous amount in those 15 years - travel, career, met my husband etc etc.

Being older parents means we are financially stable, in stable careers, and have sorted a lot of our shit out. Grandparents are older though, we'll be older grandparents. There are pros and cons.

Older is right for us, but not necessarily 'right'.

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