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Boys who like pink- experience?

(68 Posts)
calimommy Thu 06-Apr-17 03:03:40

I have a gorgeous 3.5yo boy who is full of happiness and has a wonderful enthusiasm for life. He has always been attracted to more traditionally 'girl colours' and often girlish toys. I don't mind this in the least as I really dislike overtly gender specific things and I tend to try to buy toys and clothes which are colourful rather than specifically 'boyish'. (I have two boys so far and I am expecting a third so they will have years of living in a male dominated household!) One or two family members have said jokingly suggested we are 'turning him gay' which I think I can say with most certainty that wearing one colour or another will not make a person either straight or gay... (eyes roll out of head).
So my dilemma was this: we recently had friends visit whose little girl has a pair of white sandals with pink flowers. My son desperately wanted sandals like those too and after some time we finally settled on a red pair, which could best be described as 'French' in style 😜 but I had a difficult moment when he found a pink pair he really wanted and I felt I had to discourage him from them. I simply said that 'really, pink is for girls and not for boys' which he accepted but he seemed so sad afterwards that I felt badly. I want to let him be little and free but I also don't want to leave him open to unnecessary ridicule by his peers. I often end up painting his toes because he sees me doing it and likes the colour, and a few other children have commented on that.
So I'm wondering, would you or did you buy the pink sandals and how did it turn out?

ICJump Thu 06-Apr-17 03:12:06

My DS wanted pink sandle. I pointed out they had heals and there for weren't good for tree climbing. If they have been flat I would have got them.
He loves rainbows, like pink has glitter toe nail. The other son has purple crocs.
It's colour. Just colours. The world will enforce bullshit gender roles soon enough. I'm not adding to it

porterwine Thu 06-Apr-17 03:15:59

I really hope soon they'll just start making boys clothes in pink so these sort of situations don't have to occur! I'm sure some places do but its not commonplace. Have you tried looking online? Perhaps something like "those shoes are for a little girl's foot but when we get home we can see if there is anything online"? That way he isn't actually buying a girls' product but will still get his pink shoes!

calimommy Thu 06-Apr-17 03:19:26

I agree. It IS just colour. Girls can wear anything but boys have more restrictions on their clothes. I find it tricky to navigate sometimes. At play areas he always puts in the Elsa Frozen dresses and I've noticed a few mothers titter to each other. I'm actually quite happy for him to wear whatever he wants. Especially as my second is much more 'boyish'.

porterwine Thu 06-Apr-17 03:31:10

Do you by any chance watch the Saccone-Joly family vlogs? They are not everyone's cuppa tea- but their little 3 year old is always in "girl" costumes! He loves his Elsa and Anna dresses and the other day he casually said something like "when I'm a girl I'm going to...." and the parents are so relaxed about it- it's really amazing to watch.
It's so sad that some of the mums titter because their own kids will pick up on that and copy their actions. My brother was teased at school (talking 30 years ago) because he wasn't a typical "boys boy" but I really hoped we had passed that! I feel sorry for the kids of those mums as they'll probably grow up not feeling like they can express themselves. Sounds like you're doing a fab job smile

drspouse Thu 06-Apr-17 03:55:59

Pink is for everyone. Let him have it!
I'm not a fan of frills so rarely buy frilly clothes for either DC but they can have whatever colour they like, especially if they pick enough of a variety not to bore me rigid.

peripateticparents Thu 06-Apr-17 04:27:29

Ds1's first favourite colour was pink. It morphed to red at about age 6 (with a lot of pink shirts beforehand) I bought him a doll with buggy at age 3 or 4 which he loved. He's not feminine at all currently (8)

porterwine Thu 06-Apr-17 04:31:13

I also think its strange how little boys liking "girly" things people assume they'll grow up to be feminine but you don't often hear people referring to tomboys as "masculine" or "butch". I was a total tomboy as a kid- had more "boys" toys and did more "boys" activities than my brother but no one ever worried I'd grow up to be a lesbian or manly!

isthistoonosy Thu 06-Apr-17 08:09:43

I only don't buy the girls shoes if they are impractical, but that goes for both ds and dd. As pp said slip on shoes and thin cotton dresses aren't great for tree climbing etc.

Otherwise both kids use a mix of boys and girls clothes, shoes, underwear, and tend to play with the same toys. Although sadly I've noticed DS (3.5) gravitates to the cars at nursery and then plays families with them, rather than just going to the dolls as he would at home. Similar DD (2) plays with lego and tools at home but tends to race prams / use them as weapons of destruction at nursery, I guess they are learning already what are boys / girls toys.

GinSwigmore Thu 06-Apr-17 08:24:59

My son is always nicking his sister's tutus, wands, headbands. Doesn't matter one bit. But where we are, he would get teased at kindergarten, so with clothes I have gone the superhero /Lightning Mcqueen route. Red shoes but car on them. I know. I'm a bad non-gender conforming role model.
That said, both my kids know I get final say on clothes and shoes til they reach big sister's age (15). Otherwise it's like a blinking fashion show every morning.
Pink was very fashionable for teen boys, ooh early to mid 2000s: I remember many boys having soft pink polo shirts at school non uniform days and telling me real men wore pink, bless their pink cotton socks. wink

histinyhandsarefrozen Thu 06-Apr-17 08:28:23

I would get them for the 'dressing up box' so he can wear anything at home.

Birdandsparrow Thu 06-Apr-17 08:47:50

My son is 9 now and his first favourite colour was pink, he really liked pink at about the age yours is now. I didn't mind at all. He had a pink buggy he played with.
However, I didn't actaully buy him girls clothes or shoes as I felt it was too likely to result in teasing. That really pissed me off, but it's true. I think perhaps a dressing up box for home is a good idea, loads of dresses, shoes, handbags and so on. It's such a shame we have to discourage them from wearing what they want to avoid teasing.

Birdandsparrow Thu 06-Apr-17 08:48:55

My brother loved dressing up in girls clothes at that age, he used to call himself Margaret and do silly voices ;)
He's quite blokeish now smile

Introvertedbuthappy Thu 06-Apr-17 09:00:42

DS1 is 8 and still likes pink - he wears a lot of neon pink tops and has a pair of shocking pink skinny jeans which he loves! He doesn't get teased thankfully, but I think it's because of the shade of pink and the fact that school teachers (sadly not all children), after school club staff, his old nursery staff, us etc reinforced that colours are for everyone.
I do know what you mean about other things though. For example he wanted pink curtains last year and although I didn't say 'no' - I did sing the praises of some red ones instead. There is far more acceptance (and encouragement) of girls wearing blue etc than there is of girls wearing pink.

Mandolinoparadiso Thu 06-Apr-17 10:56:14

DS, now 10, loved pink up to the age of about five, and called himself Ella. His favourite trousers were pink flowery ones. I was fine with it, and no friends or people he went to preschool with ever commented on it – in fact lots of the boys preferred dressing up in the 'girlie' clothes and loved flowers. I think it's really sad to limit boys in their tastes and imaginations. Incidentally, DS is now very traditionally male in his tastes and interests.

DearMrDilkington Thu 06-Apr-17 10:58:53

I'd have just got him the pink shoes. It's just a colour.

BeyondUser24601 Thu 06-Apr-17 11:00:12

My five year old wanted my little pony wellies, I bought him my little pony wellies. No one cares, and I don't live in a "progressive" area. He likes what he likes.

ChocChocPorridge Thu 06-Apr-17 11:01:43

I've got a 3 year old pink-lover too - who would also love some sparkly shoes, but with his feet growing so fast, and a very limited selection where we are (not in the UK) he basically gets whatever fits.

The only time we looked at sandals, the 'girls' ones were terribly made, with tiny thin straps and smooth soles - they'd have been rubbish for the beach, so we got him some orange all-terrain ones instead.

For any other clothes though, he wears whatever - he spent the weeks after Christmas wearing his normal joggers/t-shirt with a sparkly pink tutu over the top, fairy wings, and sometimes a sparkly crown - alternately wielding a nerf gun or a magic wand depending on what he was playing with this brother.

If you can't wear weird outfits when you're 3, when can you (and everyone thought it was adorable)

alleykitten Thu 06-Apr-17 11:22:37

It's so nice to see threads like this where everyone is being sensible about the fact that kids like stuff and stuff doesn't have to be gendered or send people headlong into trans panics etc etc. Hurrah.

Let him wear pink. DS went through a phase of carrying baby dolls around in a sling and pretending to breastfeed them at that age. He is a moderately camp sword-fighting fur-coat-wearing 9yo now. His friends are much more traditionally "masculine" in their interests and DGAF.

DixieNormas Thu 06-Apr-17 11:38:06

All mine have had pink at some point or other.

We are having some rather strange comments from people about ds4 who is 4 at the minute.

He has autism and doesn't want his hair cut so has a rather fetching bob atm. He tends to hide behind his fringe and has been falling over a lot at nursery so we have started putting it up in a bobble.

The teachers at brothers school that he has visited for the last 2 years have suddenly stopped referring to him as he and are calling him her/she hmm

One adult actually said 'you look like a girl' to him so he spent two weeks saying he was a girl as he just doesn't understand.

I wish people would just let children be

BeyondUser24601 Thu 06-Apr-17 11:41:24

sad Dixie
Mine is obsessed with pigtails at the moment. Still a boy.

Lizzylou Thu 06-Apr-17 11:45:33

Both of my boys have had a love of pink at some stage of their childhoods.
DS1 loved all things pink until mid-way through reception class. I do remember him wanting his first pair of glasses to be a very pink pair. I did discourage him as tactfully as possible as I knew that we'd end up having to buy him a replacement pair. I was right as he soon decided blue, Ben 10 and Batman were the way to go.
DS2 (11) is very confident in himself and his tastes and still says pink is his favourite colour.

DixieNormas Thu 06-Apr-17 11:46:16

It's just really surprised me that people who have always referred to him as he have suddenly decided they've obviously had it wrong all these years and he's a girl. All because of a bobble

We've had a few comments over the years from strangers who have thought he was a girl, probably due to the hair as he loves wearing blue so its not a clothes thing.

Firefries Thu 06-Apr-17 11:47:22

Gosh let him enjoy it. I used to confirm to boy colour "stuff" and to be honest most of the boy type colours out there are just ugly. There's a certain 80s blue ugh! Yuck. I also stopped getting ugly boy bedding themes and just chose plainer or more colourful types in stripes or whatever. And he doesn't care. He doesn't crave "brown" because he's a boy, or that ugly "blue" that boys are always left with. Let him enjoy pink. If he's like any other kid he will go through about 5 other favourite colours before he starts school, and probably none of them will be 70s brown or 80s blue.

ElspethFlashman Thu 06-Apr-17 11:47:39

Boys shoes are horrendous. I was in the playground the other day and I saw a little girl DSs age and she had trainers with loads of glitter and those light up soles.

It made me so sad my boy doesn't get to have glittery shoes. Where is all the boy glitter? He has no interest in pink actually but he would be so excited by glittery flashing shoes. sad

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