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Nearly 4-year-old obsessive about goodbyes

(4 Posts)
monal Wed 05-Apr-17 13:01:08

I would like some advice about my DD and how to make this better for her. When I leave for work, or leave her at the school gates etc, she goes through a long ritual of things that she needs to say to me and works herself up into a more and more hysterical state as she goes. We have to do a kiss, and a hug, and a "cheery" wave (which is often through tears but she repeats the words). And then that a couple of times, and then she'll say, "I wish you luck!" "It's okay if I cry!" and at some point she cracks and starts crying. The words are always the same, and it feels really compulsive. I know that short and sharp is best for goodbyes but it does feel pretty violent to just cut her off; I can see the panic in her eyes! I don't know how to de-escalate this and make it less stressful for her.

HeyCat Wed 05-Apr-17 13:15:10

Could you try role plays with her dolls/cuddly toys?

I find it helpful sometimes to act out how we do things, so you'd construct a little story about big rabbit going to the shops, and little rabbit saying "bye bye!" Then carrying on playing.

Just wonder if she's got it in her head this long ritual is the right way to say goodbye?

monal Wed 05-Apr-17 13:19:20

She does roleplay being a mummy and going away a lot, with me or her toys, and I sometimes have to cry. But the specific ritual only happens when I'm really going away, like she's using it to stave off something terrible that will happen when I go. I might start specifically using her words when she roleplays with me to see what we can work out. Thank you!

rackhampearl Wed 05-Apr-17 13:24:20

Sorry no advice OP but that is terribly cute. Made me smile. smile

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