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Is he being a bad dad?? help!

(4 Posts)
andrea010180 Mon 03-Apr-17 12:23:06

Help!! My two youngest children, 5(J) and 7(A), see their dad twice a week since our divorce last year. (We have been apart for 2 years) He lets them play age rating 15/18 games like GTA V and watch movies like suicide squad. J has a seriously bad relationship with his behaviour and certain foods, foods such as lollipops, tomato ketchup, and fizzy drinks, which is why he isn't allowed it at home. Every time the boys see their father they are stuffed with sugar and junk food right before he drops them off which is coincidentally bed time. J has been home for an hour and a half and is currently bouncing off the walls, refusing to get into bed and winding up the dog. He hasn't been this bad in a few weeks now but I recently went to a solicitor about the inappropriate games and videos he lets them watch, and also to get him to have them over night. This seems to have made the situation worse but social services refuse to give me any advice and this was the route they told us to go. A has been really low in mood recently, and it seems to be because his dad is making him feel guilty. My ex is telling him how lonely he is at home without the kids, even though he has a new partner, and he started crying to A when I said I was taking the kids away for a week on holiday. Its not fair to put that pressure on a 7 year old. He keeps telling the kids I'm a bad mum, because I work a lot but he refuses to pay child maintenance. He quizzes them about my new partner, constantly asking where I am and who I'm with. He has made threats and sent nasty messages to me, my mum, and my daughter. The police have warned him that this is not acceptable and to stop, but it hasn't made a blind bit of difference. How can I set boundaries with this man?! When I bring it up he just laughs and says i'm over reacting, and they are boys. Any help would be much appreciated...

thethoughtfox Mon 03-Apr-17 12:38:00

Stop all contact and go through the solicitor to have it set it properly again. This is damaging for everyone. I'm so sorry to hear this.

Heirhelp Wed 05-Apr-17 19:32:38

Go back to the police about the messages and go to the CSA or whatever they are called about maintenance.

This sounds like a difficult situation OP. I am sure other will give you advice about access.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Wed 05-Apr-17 19:40:16

If you intend to go down the court route - which I would suggest - be careful about your contact texts /calls - you have just slatted him for feeding them crap then say you want him to have them overnight. Either he is an unsuitable df or he isn't. .
Meaning he could use things against you in court that's all!!
Speaking to school regarding his behaviour after he has seen df etc. Keep a food diary of both houses - foods you associate with negative behaviour and foods ds is better eating. . If welfare reports are done then you have done your homework on what work best for your ds diet-wise. It's not a pleasant journey but better in the long run if he is being an arse. .

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