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Five year old having strange/dark thoughts

(3 Posts)
Juanca Fri 31-Mar-17 16:43:41

DD will be six in August. She's been having some scary thoughts, about death (mine and DH's, not hers). She's also been having some very weird, disturbing daydreams/thoughts.

One example: she was trapped inside a piece of fruit, and she was calling out for people to get her out, but no one heard, and someone ate the piece of fruit with her in it.

And other stuff along those lines. She's very clear these are her thoughts and not dreams, and that they are very intrusive - she can't get them out of her head.

We're talking about the death stuff, very calmly and factually (in an age appropriate way). With the intrusive thoughts, we're coaching her to mentally "grab" the thought, say, "I'm done with you" and cast it off. Then we gave her three "happy" thought scenarios to replace the negative thought with.

Is there something else we should be doing/thinking of? She is going through a really sensitive phase and she seems quite freaked out by what's going on in her head.

Things are fine/steady at home and at school, I don't think there's anything she's not telling me. We do have an international move coming up but she's been very positive and excited about this and it's something we're talking about a lot as a family.

SeaEagleFeather Fri 31-Mar-17 21:35:48

We do have an international move coming up but she's been very positive and excited about this

she may well have very exited thoughts consciously but she's probably also very worried about it at other levels.

she will lose all her friends and her school and possibly even her language, if you're moving to a non-English country. Her physical home. Lots of changes and she's bound to be aware of that at some level.

Perhaps asking her how she feels about the move, if she is nervous about anything might give her space to talk about the more worrisome aspects (if she -is- worried).

About fear of death of her parents, that is also very normal I believe. If she has the awareness to be worried about that then it does seem likely that she's sensitive and have other worries.

Other people may have better advice but I think myself that listening to her worries, cuddling her (if she's the cuddly sort) and reassuring her that mummy and daddy will always be there for her may help.

Juanca Sat 01-Apr-17 04:19:52

Thank you, SeaEagle.

You're right, I might have underestimated how much a move is worrying her. We'll be going back to our home country, but she is too young to remember living there. But no language problems. She's a bit of a square peg at her school, we live in quite a homogenous society and she's a bit of an oddball (in a nice way!). I think she'll fit in well back home. But as you say, this life is all she's really known.

I will ask her more about the move, and maybe try different ways to do so - you have me thinking with your language comment. I just said she's fluent but she's not as articulate as other English speakers her age so I wonder if she's finding it difficult to put her fears into words.

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