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Son keeps getting bitten at nursery

(11 Posts)
Racheyg Wed 29-Mar-17 20:48:23

Not sure if the right place so apologies in advance.

Ds2 has been bitten 5 times in 4 weeks by the same child. 1st and 2nd time we understood but 3rd (happened on Friday) time we requested further supervision and nursery advised they were seeking outside help and assessment.

Now today he has been bitten twice, oh picked him up and said something urgent needs to happen. I now have to call tomorrow (ds2 isn't in nursery again till next Tuesday) to talk I have no idea what to say? Demand that this child is removed?

What would you wise parents do?

passmethewineplease Wed 29-Mar-17 20:53:58

I don't think think you can demand that this child is removed, they are a child too.

The nursery need to be on the all regarding supervision and monitoring this child to stop any more incidents like that.

I feel for you, it's not nice, I also feel for the parents of the biter though, my DD went through a phase of this and it was awful. Hers was mainly frustration as she has speech delay but it didn't stop me being mortified.

Racheyg Wed 29-Mar-17 21:03:19

Thanks wine yes, at first I was relieved it weren't either of mine biting, but it's got ridiculous now. I don't want to demand that the child is removed but I have no idea where to go from here. The nursery have been monitoring him for ages and he has been doing this for a while to other kids but now focuses his attention on my ds2.

Ds1 had a speech delay (only said first word at 3.2) so I understand about frustration. These bites are pretty big they bruise and draw blood.

Writerwannabe83 Wed 29-Mar-17 21:25:21

At the nursery my son used to attend he got bitten three times in three days and my DH was furious. The first and second time it happened I wasn't overly stressed by it as I know kids can be kids (it could just as easily be my child who was biting) but on the third occasion I did start to feel uneasy.

I spoke to the Manager who told me it was actually her 19 month old son who had bitten my DS and she was soooo apologetic.

She explained that for some reason, my son (who was 2yr 10m) had suddenly become obsessed with her son's dummy and kept taking it out of his mouth and laughing. She said her son then bit mine as a first reaction as he was angry.

Later that evening I spoke to my DS about how he shouldn't take the other boy's dummy as that's why he was getting bitten and that it wasn't nice to snatch things off people. Apparently it did the trick as he didn't go near the other boy's dummy again and was never bitten again.

Have you been told if anything is preceding the biting incidents that could perhaps be addressed?

Racheyg Wed 29-Mar-17 21:31:11

Thanks writer ds2 doesn't do anything to provoke him. I was there once when it happened and ds2 was dancing. Then today oh was there for the 5 th bite and ds2 was getting ready to go home.

The nursery staff said ds2 isn't doing anything to him. They think the biter has Sen issues and gets scared sometimes

zzzzz Wed 29-Mar-17 21:31:18

I would send an email listing ALL the events, take photos of the "damage". You need to do this every time to time/date/log what's going on.

Ask for a meeting, or if one is already arranged state you want to know what they are putting in place to to stop this happening again. Ask for a copy of their complaints procedure and how to get help from ofsted or LA. wink

These things happen, but it's time for it to stop now.

Racheyg Wed 29-Mar-17 22:45:45

zzzz I am calling tomorrow then going to suggest a meeting. The nursery have a few days to try and work out a situation. Oh is adamant that he doesn't want ds2 in the same room as the biter. I don't think it's as easy as that thou

annlee3817 Thu 30-Mar-17 08:05:55

We had this with my DD, The nursery staff split them down into smaller activity groups and worked on some sharing activities. It also always happened on a Friday afternoon, so they supervised my Dd more at that time. It's has completely stopped now, my Dd hadn't done anything to encourage it. I had extra reviews with the nursery until I was happy it had been resolved. No incidents since last November.

zzzzz Thu 30-Mar-17 08:57:18

Lots of toddlers bite, so different rooms would soon get unworkable, but more funding for supervision is often easier to get if there have been complaints and multiple dated incidents.

RoseSonata Thu 30-Mar-17 13:25:22

I don't think you can demand that the biter is in another room, but you can definitely arrange a meeting, ask what steps they are taking to safeguard your child, and ask to see policies, procedures etc.

Racheyg Thu 30-Mar-17 14:59:36

Thanks for all the great advice. I had a telephone meeting with the manager. The nursery have suggested separating them, that's if mum of the child is happy with that.

I don't want the poor boy to miss out and it was the nursery whom suggested the separation not us.

The biter is going into the older room so maybe he will learn from the older children and that's it's not ok to bite.

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