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Newborn won't sleep anywhere other than on me

(16 Posts)
Hollie12 Wed 29-Mar-17 17:43:16

Looking for some advice, my 4 week old newborn will not let me put him down anywhere during the day and at night he currently sleeps in the bed with me. I would like to break this and not turn it into a habit, I am already exhausted. I don't have time to eat/shower during the day. When I lay him in his Moses basket/swing/cot he just screams the house down. It's not nice to listen to so then I give in and lift him again. My question is do I let him cry at 4 weeks old? Or am I doing the right thing lifting him? HELP

Nottalotta Wed 29-Mar-17 18:02:36

I had this with ds1, we Co slept. Ds2 is here now and I was a bit more prepared, cot with side off next to the bed, sleepyhead. The sleepyhead is great. I can bring it down in the day, I can take it when visiting parents etc.

Ds2 has reflux, so doesn't like laying flat. I feed him, wind, then hold him upright on my shoulder for 15-30 minutes. Make sure if you lift him arm it us totally floppy, then lay him down. Hold him to your chest and lay him down then move away from him. If you aren't swaddling, hold his arms down for a couple of minutes until settled.

Dummy - I was against it with ds1 but am using one with Ds2 for my own sanity. Just for naps. Hasn't got the hang of it yet.

I wouldn't leave him to cry as such, but having two under two, I can't always pick the baby up immediately and often he will cry for a minute then stop and resettle.

Gallavich Wed 29-Mar-17 18:04:50

Sorry, some babies are just like this. Get a sling, a rocking chair and go for long walks with the pram. Don't leave him to cry.

Nottalotta Wed 29-Mar-17 18:14:38

Yes I also use a sling, can wash up, put washing out etc with it.

GerardNoWay Wed 29-Mar-17 18:19:08

Get a sling! Or just hole up on the sofa and use it as an excuse to cuddle and eat chocolate.

My DD was like this when she was a newborn. Putting her down in her Moses basket was impossible, she'd instantly know. We spent lots of time co-sleeping.

It doesn't last forever though, DD is now 17 months and sleeps in her cot 7-7 AND falls asleep on her own, something I thought would never ever happen when she was newborn.

wibblywobblyfish Wed 29-Mar-17 18:33:36

My eldest was like this. I used to trick him by putting a hot water bottle in his Moses basket to warm the sheets, removing it then lowering him down into the basket, it was enough to trick him that the transition from me to the basket hadn't taken place.

Vegansnake Wed 29-Mar-17 18:35:31

Enjoy every second...I'd love another to snuggle on the sofa with..

ODog Wed 29-Mar-17 19:13:37

Very normal. Cosleep safely and do what you need to do. Get a sling for the day. Don't worry about rods and bad habits. Google the 4th trimester. Your baby doesn't yet know anything but being part of you.

Heirhelp Wed 29-Mar-17 19:26:23

Completely normal. I agree with 4th trimester and a sling. Your baby is clearly commutating that he wants to be close to you as you make him feel safe as well as regulating his temperature and breathing.

Anditstartsagain Wed 29-Mar-17 20:58:52

I would gradually get him used to be put down right after he falls asleep and anytime he seems content out him down for a short time.

I know it's normal but not everyone enjoys having a baby attached to them I certainly don't I feel like a I need some physical space from mine or I start to feel crazy. I have left mine crying to shower and eat plenty of times your baby needs you to be OK you need to take care of yourself.

GahBuggerit Wed 29-Mar-17 21:13:50

envy

blue2014 Wed 29-Mar-17 21:41:20

Really sorry I know it's hard to hear but it is normal. If you are lucky it will get easier week on week and this time will pass before you know it.

I agree, get a sling (or google sling library - they're bloody brilliant, I wish it had one for the first 12 weeks when we really needed it)

blue2014 Wed 29-Mar-17 21:42:07

Plus it won't crate habits yet, baby isn't cognitively developed enough to create habits at this stage

Coconut0il Thu 30-Mar-17 15:00:07

I've never left either of mine to cry. They both wanted holding a lot of the time. DS2 especially, he would cry if he was put down. I just went with it. As a pp said, use it as an excuse to relax and cuddle your little baby. They really grow too quickly.
I always showered or did a bit of housework while DP was here.
My friend could sit her DS in the bouncy chair while she had a shower and he would happily watch her dry her hair. There was no chance DS2 would do that! You have to work with the baby you've got grin

RD82 Thu 30-Mar-17 18:52:22

Please don't leave your little one to cry, it will do no good for either of you. And please don't worry about habits forming, your son isn't capable of that yet, you can cuddle away for a good 3/4 months without any sort of habits forming.

I could have written your post 10 weeks ago, I too was worried about her only being able to sleep on a human & panicking! Now I have a wonderful 14 wk old who happily sleeps in her sleepyhead in her side sleeper crib, at first she hated it and only wanted us.

Things that helped us:

* a zip up swaddle that stopped her from waking herself up with her startle reflex & made her feel cosy & safe

* safe co-sleeping (following the guidelines) with me for a few weeks to get her used to sleeping on a flat surface. Try the Moses basket again in a few days time, what doesn't work one day can easily work the next with these little newborns.

Basically, just do whatever you need to do to get through this tough early bit - my OH & I used to sleep in shifts with her on us in the early early days as she just wanted to be cuddled all the time. Get your OH to make you a couple of sandwiches in the evening that you can put in the fridge for the following lunchtime so you can eat during the day.

One thing I can promise you is that although it doesn't feel like it now, this newborn stage is such a short space of time & will fly by. Take lots of pictures & videos, cuddle him, marvel at him, enjoy how much this tiny human wants to be in your arms because it really does go too quickly.

RD82 Thu 30-Mar-17 18:59:49

Oh and a sling! I used to put her in the sling & do a bit of housework or jobs I needed to do. Still use it loads now when we go for walks, definitely stopped me going a bit crazy at home. We got a stretchy wrap sling from mothercare, so so useful.

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