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Toddler life / introvert working mum

(8 Posts)
KCpip Mon 27-Mar-17 13:40:18

Hi, I'm wondering if I'm giving my daughter enough opportunities to socialise. I'm interested to hear of other people's weeks and how they go. I work 2 days a week and also do other work from home. At the moment I'm only taking my daughter to one group a week. The rest of the time we're pottering around with trips to the library, walks outdoors, play in the house. I tried doing the baby groups when she was younger but I always found it a bit stressful and I do know mum friends but our available days never seem to cross over for play dates. I'm keen to hear how other mums find it trying to juggle bringing in an income but also doing things out and about with their LO. We don't earn enough to look into nursery but I am considering a local playgroup one day a week when she's 2. My daughter is nearly 2 now.

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 27-Mar-17 16:55:09

Where does she go on the days that you work?

CheerfulMuddler Mon 27-Mar-17 17:41:26

Our week looks like this:
Monday - Wednesday - I'm at work, he's at the childminder's. Lots of socialising there as they have lots of kids.
Thursday - Swimming lessons, then we go to soft play. But he doesn't really socialise with the other kids at swimming lessons, and he's non-verbal, so he only really smiles or giggles at the other kids at soft play.
Friday - Day off. Just me and him. We do quiet stuff together - library, park, shopping, playing at home.
Saturday - Sunday - He comes along with whatever DH and I are doing, or we look after him together at home.
He's one and a half.

KCpip Mon 27-Mar-17 21:53:06

Thanks CheerfulMuddler. Just interesting to hear other routines! JiltedJohnsJulie DD goes to my MIL on the 2 days and although she talked about going to the odd thing with DD when she first started helping us they don't seem to have made it out to much either. I don't feel comfortable asking her to take her to specific places coz I feel like she should get to choose how to spend time with her granddaughter especially as she's helping us so much each week. Maybe this playgroup when it starts will be a good way for her to spend time with other little ones.

CheerfulMuddler Tue 28-Mar-17 12:27:44

I'm an introvert too, so I do sympathise - I found playgroups quite stressful. (That's one reason why I like swimming lessons, as I'm not expected to talk to people as much.) Something like rhyme time at the library is similar (though they don't get as much opportunity to play as it's more structured). When she's a bit older it'll be easier - you'll be able to sit on the side at the playground/soft play a bit more and let her get on with it.

My worry is kind of the opposite - I do wonder if he's an introvert too, and I know I would have found three full days in a row at a childminders really hard as a kid. But he seems quite happy to go there, and I need to work, so ...

KCpip Tue 28-Mar-17 22:26:34

I don't mind meeting and chatting to people but generally I need plenty of home time to refuel (guess you know what I mean CheerfulMuddler). So in between work and the often tiring aspects of being a mum I don't like the idea of having plans all the time. Interesting that you think your DS is an introvert. I often worry the opposite with my DD but that I don't provide enough opportunities for her. Thanks for your help! I'm thinking one more planned activity a week would be nice and will look to find something flexible that we can drop into when it suits.

redjumper Wed 29-Mar-17 16:04:02

My nearly 2 yr olds'sweek looks like this:
Monday, Tuesday at nursery.
Wednesday local playgroup, then nap and walk to collect brother from school, then play at home.
Thursday morning various mundane things eg supermarket, jobs at home, appointments etc. Afternoon maybe meet a friend with her kids.
Friday morning at home with me and her brother, sometimes a playgroup. Afternoon meet a friend with her 3 yr old son.
Weekends with me and daddy various things.

justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Thu 30-Mar-17 16:02:59

I am a SAHM so cannot comment on the income side of things but I am an introvert.

I have tried many drop in groups, the type where you have a cuppa and chat with other mums whilst the kids play and squabble over toys but I hated them! I would feel so anxious before them! I would tag along to some with my friend and that made it easier but they are further away and I wanted to do something consistent and make a routine.

So I now take DD (2.2) to three groups a week but they are parent participation groups so there is literally no time for making small chat. We go to Baby Ballet, Toddler Sense and Monkey Music. You have to pay in advance for each term which is perfect for me as I can't talk myself out of going!

I know I sound unsociable but I have two close friends so don't feel the need to go to groups and make small talk.

So perhaps find a group where you have to be involved with your child. I love it as well and feel like we both take something away from them!

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