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DS5 worried about death

(6 Posts)
IamAporcupine Wed 22-Mar-17 21:36:27

I am going away on Friday for the weekend to visit my mum. At bedtime DS (just turned 5) started crying saying he does not want me to die sad
Now I am terrified of death myself, how on earth can I help him?!
And also is this 'normal' at this age? we haven't had any death in the family so I am not sure where this is coming from

HumphreyCobblers Wed 22-Mar-17 21:41:55

It is normal at this age.

I too am terrified of death so did not deal with this that well with my first. I told him about heaven. I don't believe in this myself, so I was then faced with answering multiple questions about something I did not believe in and the lies just felt so wrong.

I read on here that you should ask them if they remember before they were born? When they say no, point out that that is what being dead is like. Before and after, both the same.

I did this with my next two children and I found it worked well. The oldest gradually came to the conclusion that heaven wasn't real either.

I too find it a comforting thought.

IamAporcupine Wed 22-Mar-17 21:48:06

Thanks Humphrey
I think he is not worried about his own death but mine.

I am not religious and do not believe in heaven either. Long time ago he once asked me if I would die. Silly me said yes, because I didn't want to lie...

Lapinlapin Wed 22-Mar-17 21:49:26

I would say you normally only die when you're very old or very ill. You're neither, so he doesn't need to worry.

My 5 year old was very anxious about death, so I think it's normal.

And yes I know there are other causes of death, like today's tragic events, but it's not the sort of thing I'd feel comfortable talking to an anxious 5 year old about.

Mainly he needs reassurance that you're coming home again. So reassure him. And have a nice weekend!

IamAporcupine Wed 22-Mar-17 22:11:36

Thanks Lapinlapin, yes, that's exactly what I said today "I am not very old, and I am not very ill". I will tell him again that I am coming back.

I wonder if he is also worried that his grandma might die soon.

SeaEagleFeather Fri 24-Mar-17 15:40:57

Mine was too

the thing about not remembering before you were born is good!

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