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Did I do the right thing?

(8 Posts)
user1487854472 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:12:47

So a long story short; my daughter arrived 9 months ago, her father became an abusive, violent nasty piece of work when I was pregnant, which escalated further when she arrived.

I have tried my hardest to maintain a relationship there, whilst supervising all contact due to the risk he is.

Today on supervising contact, it was all about me. On leaving I asked how his anger management was going (as planned) and he said he hasn't been as there's no point anymore. As he's not bothered about being a parent, only controlling me. To which I asked if he sees no reason for making changes for his daughter, which he ignored.

I drive off and he follows me a good 4-5 miles home, sometimes driving right on the rear of my car, very intimidating. I drove to my parents and my dad managed to calm the situation when the ex got hostile.

I finally told him not to make contact until he has completed a formal anger management course. I have tried so hard and the whole situation is affecting my health considerably. I've given him so many chances to step up, but I can't do it. He has to make the changes before he sees our daughter again.

AIBU?

Pinkypierainbowdash Wed 22-Mar-17 20:18:06

You know your not being UR.

Have you rang the police ?

Do you have a dash cam front and rear if not get one as it might be good evidence.

Patriciathestripper1 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:18:33

confused why would you want an abusive, violent, nasty piece of work anywhere near your daughter?

user1487854472 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:23:08

I just feel sick guilt that I can't tolerate him anymore. My daughter should be able to make her own decisions and I feel guilty for putting a stop to it.

Yes I've reported it and they'll be sending an officer to my house. I have a 'flag' against my name/house due to a MARAC that was completed a few months ago.

user1487854472 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:46:04

*so guilty

Obsidian77 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:48:07

You've done the right thing op

xStefx Wed 22-Mar-17 20:53:15

Op of course you have done the right thing. You need a restraining order against him of some sort? Is they anyone else that can do the supervised visits so he can't do that to you ? I wouldn't want my daughter around a guy like that x

user1487854472 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:04:54

I'm hoping the police will sort something for me. I'm seriously considering moving away with my daughter. But with a mortgage and little money, I feel that I'm stuck here feeling unsafe. He's also harassing his ex partner, the mother of his older son who I'm actually friends with. He hasn't had contact with his son for nearly a year!

Regarding people to supervise; I don't trust his family as they are all very much the same, and my parents have had abuse aimed at them also.

If he cares enough then I'd have no problems with going through a contact centre. I don't think he'd arrange it though.

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