Help please: Huge troubles with winding

[Martin1987]

Hi everyone, I'm after a little bit of advice and help. As the title suggests, issues with the little one are around winding and subsequently settling him down. He is still pretty new to the world at just under 3 weeks old and I am thoroughly convinced that my wife and I are missing something...

So; the boy will feed pretty solidly (bottle-fed only) and is getting amounts usually between 70-110ml depending on how long it's been since his last feed. After he's done with drinking my wife and I will give him a couple of minutes just to make sure he's finished and then try to wind him because he guzzles. It seems to make no difference at all whether we lean him forward slightly and wind him upright, if we put him over our shoulders and pat/rub his back, if we lay him face-down over a knee, even if we keep him in his slightly-reclined-but-mostly-upright feeding position and rub little gentle circles on his stomach... he barely ever burps. He'll get out a huge one after a cycle of winding with nothing happening, trying to put him down/change position/continue feeding then he starts fussing and flailing, so we try winding again with nothing, fusses, winds with nothing, fusses, winds and burps once then done...

It's now at the point where we are even considering if we're actually causing reflux simply by trying to get burps out... if he was just doing tiny little ones or spitting up all the time then we'd say for sure, but the burps he comes out with when we do coax one out honestly gives blokes down the pub a run for their money!

All in all it's a seemingly-neverending cycle of him fussing but not actually crying, us trying to get him settled and relieve the problem, him not being able to get it out/not having anything to come out, and then fussing again when we let it be... It's frustrating as all hell and it's causing us both to only get about an hour of sleep between night-feeds and we're both starting to go a little closer to the edge of sanity than we'd like!!!

Thanks very much for any advice you can give.

[Heirhelp]

How old is he?

[GuinessPunch]

Gripe water?

[Martin1987]

Just under 3 weeks; 19 days.

[Heirhelp]

Have you tried tiger in the tree? Lots of juggling? Walking up and down stairs? I found doing a variety of things better than just doing one.

[Heirhelp]

You have to wait until 4 weeks for gripe water.

[Shenanagins]

Try knees up to the chest and circle in a clockwise rotation, hopefully that will help.

[Flipthebirdy]

Dr Browns bottles definitely helped me. Those and Infacol.

[PonderLand]

I feel your pain! Burping was a huge deal for us and it never really got mentioned by other parents we knew. Try the usual stuff, infacol (every single feed), gripe water when he's old enough. Different positions. Belly massage in case he will get wind out a different route!

Unfortunately for us it never really got easier until the 4/5m mark. I found infacol and bouncing gently on my gym/birthing ball got a burp out in about 10/15 minutes.
Does he appear in discomfort if you don't burp him? I found my boy would vomit or get really bad belly ache if we didn't wind him, other parents I know try get a burp up for a few minutes and then leave it.

[PonderLand]

Oh and dr brown bottles made a huge difference to us also. There is MAM bottles too which are also meant to be good for colicky/windy babies.

[amysmummy12345]

I found sitting dd on my lap facing to the side, supporting chin giving a good rub for a minute or so, then slowly tilting her back and bringing her upright again helped to release the burp.

[BzyB]

I found I needed to wind as soon as she was done. If she drifted off to sleep it became like you described!

Another option would be to try sitting him up halfway though a feed to see if he burps easily.

Also, remember that this shall pass - my girls pretty much self winded by 3 months as long as held up on my shoulder, no patting etc,
Til then, for your own sanity, take turns at feeding and winding him. The other person can sleep on sofa.

[Martin1987]

Sorry Heirhelp, I should've added that bit! I have tried walking around with him over either of my shoulders, with him cuddled on my chest, even just having him 'sitting' in my right hand and supported behind the shoulders and head with my left... we're in a flat so there are stairs but at night it's way lower than 16 degrees out in the hall... We've tried giving him a dummy/pacifier as well, that 'hold baby and shake their butt' thing from the youtube video just in case that helped free things up... The thing stopping me from going with gripe water or just straight-up saying probably colic or reflux is the fact that he doesn't actually cry about it; he pulls some grumpy faces, maybe lets out a single 'wah', but then he just chills for a little bit, maybe waves his arms and kicks, arches every now and again, but it's not anywhere like anything in videos or guides and it's more he's just unsettled... We've tried putting him in the cot and the pushchair in darkened rooms with white noise in case he's just over-tired and cranky, giving cuddles, tummy-time for a minute or two at a time with supervision... I've actually got him sleeping in the pushchair behind me at the moment with a pacifier but I'm not sure if the pacifier was the soothing he needed to just drop off and he's going to go crazy when I take it away/he wakes up, or if that was what he was after and I'm just really bad at figuring out what he wants... :}

[PonderLand]

For burping technique we would put him over our shoulder, bounce on ball and massage his spine and back from bottom to neck, kind of like you're rubbing the gas bubble up and out. I'm sure you've tried everything, it will get easier to get burps up as he gets older. Even a few weeks can be a massive change in things like this.

[MissJC]

Are you giving him the entire feed before winding? Mine is 3 weeks and I find it easier to get a burp after every oz rather than a huge one at the end iyswim
I wait for a natural break in the feed and sit her up on my knee supporting her chin, rock her back and forth a few times, do a hoola hoop type motion with her hips then rub her back, usually burps. Or if no burp at this point, I put her on my shoulder and rub back. If still no burp at this point I continue the feed and try again on the next oz.

Winding is absolute torture, I feel your pain.

[SchnitzelVonCrumb]

Look up "biological feeding"

[WomanScorned]

It sounds as though he isn't actually windy to the point of discomfort, if I've understood correctly.
I winded DS because, well, that's what you do. Until his15y old sibling asked me why I was rubbing and patting and so on, and I really didn't know! So, I stopped, unless he seemed uncomfortable.
Could it be that he simply doesn't need winding?
He could be unsettled simply because the world and everything in it, including drinking milk, sleeping, even breathing and just being outside of his mum is new to him. Is his being unsettled actually a problem for him?

I'm just musing, here.