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Finding my 14 month old hard work.

(21 Posts)
Summerdays2014 Thu 16-Mar-17 20:11:12

Anyone else finding this stage tough?
1. He's started having tantrums and being really grumpy - I know it's not because he's naughty, he just can't express himself/gets frustrated etc. 2. He's becoming fussy with food.
3. Naps are disastrous- on me, can't get him to self settle like he does at night, wakes the second he's put down,really fighting morning nap, but a crying disaster by 11am if he doesn't have one.
4. He won't be left on his own for long, he follows me and cries to be picked up, especially when I'm trying to get things done in the kitchen.

He is sleeping though (touch wood) until 5am so that's a real positive (although 7am would be amazing!) he's been walking since 11 months, but no words yet - not sure that's relevant?

He's also be constantly ill since starting nursery in January and I think he might be teething, so all this could be contributing.

He has settled so well at nursery-has one nap of up to 1.45 hours and sometimes puts himself to sleep, always eats all his food and seems so happy there. Sometimes I wonder if he hates me and being at home.

Anyone else's 14(ish) month old like this? Or any tips?

Thanks everyone.

Goondoit Thu 16-Mar-17 20:19:57

We had experiences like this dd is also 14mo she's pretty much come out the other end
Teething seperation anxiety developmental leaps....I just tell myself everything is a phase
My dd would not entertain daytime naps this lasted around a week and it was torture I started putting her in her pram and pushing her a bit this worked then this week were back to cot naps
My dd is having the tantrums but mainly when tired its normal and they need to ride it out safely with lots of cuddles at the end
Clingyness we have that too I have started carrying on with my job and saying "mummy is here mummy is busy etc" if its longer than 5 mins I'm putting her in her high chair and letting her watch me work this helps her somehow!
Your not alone and

Goondoit Thu 16-Mar-17 20:21:10

Oops

Its all a phase flowers

BeesAreStinging Thu 16-Mar-17 20:25:09

My 15 month old is like this. Glad to know I'm not the only one.

DinkyGT Thu 16-Mar-17 20:32:41

Pretty much exactly the same except mine isn't walking independently yet!

I'm finding it hard when she is particularly clingy and needy when she used to be fine to sit and play whilst I did a couple of other bits in the house-she would always be with me but nowadays she insists on being picked up ALL the time!

She goes to nursery and she seems to have the best time there and be much more content - I feel like she might just be bored when with me 😔

Sorry no helpful advice OP but I feel your pain! flowers

s098 Fri 17-Mar-17 07:32:51

I had a rubbish day with my 14month old yesterday. The tantrums ( and screaming) are hard work, she hates being in her pushchair for more than about 10 minutes now she can walk so even taking the dog for a walk is stressful and she is becoming difficult with food since I started letting her use a fork.
I feel like she is bored too, I'm looking forward to it being nicer outside so we can go in the garden and play

IamFriedSpam Fri 17-Mar-17 07:41:55

It's a difficult stage definitely. For what it's worth I'd have killed for my DC to sleep through at 14 months so that's a definite plus. Once the talking comes things will get easier. I would definitely recommend baby sign language until then - even if it's just hungry, thirsty, more, come up. It's great for development and helps so much with the frustration.

MessyBun247 Fri 17-Mar-17 07:56:38

Theres a development leap at 14months, it will pass. Baby will be clingy, crap naps, grumpy etc.

Then theres another one at 17/18months. Joy!grin

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 17-Mar-17 12:16:18

Believe me, your thread is probably being read by many parents who recognise the 'angelic behaviour with other people in other places' scenario.

Poor little guy, possibly teething and separation anxiety. Really intense time for you both and he can't communicate what is bugging him. But it is very good he settles so well by day at nursery.

If he is teething he will produce lots of extra fluids, hence dribbling and sore bottoms, (lots of stomach acid). So understandable when he gets cranky and wants more attention.

Btw there is a definite link between little ones teething and earache. Along with other extra fluids they can get more fluid in the ear. So if they have small eustachian tubes, (ie tube that goes from ear to throat), they can get blocked easily and get infected.

Sleeping through 'til 5 am is great, long may that last!
If he's had one thing after another since January it probably feels relentless, hang on in there.

Nousername2015 Fri 17-Mar-17 12:21:41

Also have a 14 month old, could have written this myself! Minus the walking and sleeping through though.
The separation anxiety can get a bit much at times definitely. He's seemed a bit more cheerful over the past few days so I'm hoping this is now passing.

sleater1 Fri 17-Mar-17 12:35:27

Another one here who could have written your post! My DD can be full of joy one minute and then be in the throes of a screaming tantrum the next! She also seems to be a real mix of clinginess and independence. She's even started crying at nursery drop off again (she's not done this since she started at 6 months old) although apparently she's ok once I've gone.

I must admit I don't really know how to handle it. Sometimes distraction works but not always. She's very active (although not walking yet) so we get out and about to toddler groups, soft play etc which she likes.

It's so reassuring to know that I'm not the only one!

Loulou2kent Fri 17-Mar-17 12:42:21

My 16 month old is like this. It's draining! However any other little ones I've looked after have all been perfect & slept well & enjoyed the activities I've set up for them etc. I actually think our own children are so in tune with us they feel our moods & also they don't have to conform all the time for us! My own son is much happier when I'm working & he is busy & copying the other little ones. On a weekend he can be so grumpy! I even find my own 6 year old much grumpier for me than anyone else, but he knows that he can be however he wants around me. Doesn't need to tick the boxes like at school etc.

Trinpy Fri 17-Mar-17 12:54:51

If it's any help, my experience of having 2 small children has taught me that all of this stuff - food fussiness, early wakings, nap refusal, separation anxiety, etc, etc - seems to come and go in phases throughout baby/toddler years. This will not last forever. And if you go through this phase again you will at least have built up coping strategies to get through it!

Is he getting a bit overtired if he's waking up at 5am? That could be contributing to some of the grumpiness and nap refusing. Some people do wake-to-sleep to deal with that, although I've always been the lazy sort and just ride it out. Horrible when you stuck in the middle of one of those stages though.

When my dcs have gone through fussy phases with food I still give them normal meals and try to eat with them if I can. I've also had success with giving the bits of the meal I know they aren't so keen on first when they're most hungry and giving the bits they really love later on. If all else fails, sometimes I just stick their dinner on my plate and make a big show of how delicious it is grin.

It will get better soon smile.

RoseSonata Fri 17-Mar-17 12:57:58

My DC are all at school now and are all good eaters, but I remember they ALL went through a fussy eating stage around 14 months! I think it's when they realise that they have the option of saying no! My advice is to try and stay really calm at mealtimes. If they realise you're stressed it becomes a power struggle.

LlandudnoLlandudno Fri 17-Mar-17 14:05:46

My 13.5mo is the same right down to the 5am waking! I read in here once that 12-18mos is pretty challenging as they can do so much more but can't speak. So I'm trying to be calm and just ride it out. Some days I am more successful at this than others grin

clarabellski Fri 17-Mar-17 14:11:39

Also could have written your post except DS is 13 months!

Another thing we're finding difficult is DS' apparent dislike of dad over mum. He is absolutely fine hanging out with DH if I'm not there, but if I am there then all he wants is me, not my DH (and screams if I go away/DH tries to do anything like nappy change/bath/feed/play). Oddly it is only DH that gets this treatment. If I'm with DS and someone else, DS doesn't exhibit as much clinginess as he does when its just me, DS and DH....confused

This is made all the more frustrating because DH had 3 months of shared parental leave with DS and we were hoping that would help in the whole separation anxiety thing, but I guess our lesson has been learned that it is a phase all toddlers need to go through and nothing you can do will stop it! So we are just riding it out and trying not to show DS that we are bothered by any of his behaviours.

clarabellski Fri 17-Mar-17 14:16:04

Another thought, if like me your LO is at nursery most days, you'll only be seeing them at the worst points of the day (who isn't grumpy when they've just woken up or at the other end need to go to bed?). I try to put myself in DS shoes when he cries at the littlest things during these times of day. I'm also a grump when I'm tired!

Spudlet Fri 17-Mar-17 14:30:32

I am so glad to read this, I thought it was just me and everyone else was gliding through! DS has been a real handful the last couple of days, refusing all naps then turning into an overtired overwrought wailing banshee, biting me and the furniture (confused) and generally making life exhausting. He really wants to walk, I think, but lacks the confidence - so is getting frustrated. Also I'm pretty sure he's got another tooth on the way. I was in tears at bath time last night, he had been screaming hysterically for about 20 minutes and there was nothing I could do to soothe him sad I'm going to stay with my parents tonight and DH is bringing DS and Spuddog to join us tomorrow. It's the first night I'll have had away from him and I feel so terribly pathetic and guilty about it sad

tinypop4 Fri 17-Mar-17 14:50:49

In my personal (albeit sample of 2) experience, little toddlers are the pits! Cute, but otherwise angry little balls of tantrum and defiance! They are frustrated by having developed a will but no sense of reason, and not being able to talk. They like to make their opinions known, especially over food.
It gets better- it's a tough year coming up in terms of what you describe but it's not too long before he will be a lovely little guy! Hang on in there

Summerdays2014 Fri 17-Mar-17 16:53:05

Thank you everyone. So nice to know it's not just us going through this!

Cranb0rne Sat 18-Mar-17 09:49:56

My 14 month old is the same. He has started screaming in his pushchair but he doesn't walk yet and is getting massively frustrated. He would be carried round all day if he could be and screams when he's put down. I think he gets very bored.

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