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So ashamed just majorly lost it at my 3 year old.

(12 Posts)
Dixie2016 Thu 16-Mar-17 16:05:43

I've hugged him and said sorry but I feel so guilty. I really yelled at him.

He has toddler diarrhoea and frequently messes himself. He did it this afternoon while napping in my bed so I had to clean that up. Then he took himself to the toilet again a little bit later, and despite me telling him a thousand times that he must get help wiping his bum he didn't. So I've had to clean him up again where he had poo all over his clothes and all over the floor through the house where he has walked.

I'm not proud to say I saw red and shouted at him. He isn't my only child so I can't hover over him every time he goes to the toilet. He takes ages as well. I just get so frustrated by the fact that he just completely ignores what I tell him to do.

He has started getting up at 5am as well and making a hell of a noise and waking us all up. Totally ignores me when I tell him to get back into bed. He will go eventually but 5 minutes later he is out again.

What can I do to help me cope better?

skankingpiglet Thu 16-Mar-17 23:15:46

I think the early starts may be the biggest problem here. I have a 2.9yo and 8.5mo and really struggle some days, but I've noticed the really bad ones tend to follow bad nights or early starts. It's the tiredness that makes me really snappy and grumpy. If I've had a reasonable (not even great!) night I can calmly deal with the worst my challenging toddler can throw at me. After a bad night I've snapped at her for not moving to get her shoes on the moment I've asked (optimistic for any toddler!) blushsad I've prioritised sleep and it helps, even if it still goes wrong some nights.

Can you go to bed a bit earlier? Will he respond to a GroClock or reward chart to stay in bed a little longer?

As for the ignoring you... Argh! This is the biggest thing that drives me nuts and most likely to have me shouting. When I do shout, I try to limit it to one word eg her name, or the item I'm talking about ("SHOES!"), to get her attention, then return to my normal voice. I don't know if that's the 'right' thing to do, but it works in situations where I just can't get her attention (even by waving a hand in front of her face), and figure it's better than all-out shouting.

DirtyDancing Thu 16-Mar-17 23:22:26

I just wanted to send flowers and my understanding.

I lost it with my 3 year old last week. I saw red too over an incident. He was completely fine with me 1 hour later but I'm still feeling guilty for shouting, and I cried a lot afterwards. I still feel awful about it now.

I am telling myself that I am human and the main thing is to learn from my mistakes. When you are super tired, trying to do too much it happens. I am now making a concerted effort to take a deep breath and count to 5 when his behaviour is challenging.

Dixie2016 Fri 17-Mar-17 17:13:40

Thank you!

Yes the early starts were definitely a factor. He has a gro clock but has recently started ignoring it. I've spoken to him about staying in bed but it doesn't stop him.

I'm still feeling guilty about yesterday. I really scared him I think. He was fine five minutes after and hasn't mentioned it since but I can't stop thinking about it.

DirtyDancing Fri 17-Mar-17 21:54:09

I must admit whilst my son was a terrible sleeper for the first year, he does now sleep fairly well, wakes between 6.30-7am.

The grow clock never worked for him. Could you try a reward chart and if he stays in bed for say 3 mornings he can have a treat? I never have done this, but I know parents who put a stair gate across the door. Have you tired changing the time he goes to bed? This site is quite informative

Dixie2016 Fri 17-Mar-17 22:45:11

He can open a stair gate no problem. And he takes himself to the toilet independently which is great, if it's just a wee!

I will look at the link you sent and see what they say. He conks out sometimes at 6pm though which I suspect is because he wakes so early.

Sweets101 Fri 17-Mar-17 22:49:37

My now 4 yr old DAD has/had (it does seem to have improved quite a lot recently) toddler diarrhoea, stressed me to the hilt. Especially coupled with her other little quirks (force to be reckoned with, doesn't listen but does a lot of talking! Quick to fury, ahh) so you have my complete sympathy.
I have shouted at her in the past, at the end of my tether. Still feel bad about it now flowers

Sweets101 Fri 17-Mar-17 22:50:22

*DD not DAD!

Sallysadlyseescertainty Fri 17-Mar-17 22:50:23

He's only 3. And he has toddler diarrhea. My 3 yo had this, so i transitioned him into toilet training gradually.

He isn't an adult, so why are you expecting him to act like one?

Try and tire him out during the day, to see if he'll sleep better/longer and maybe look more closely at his diet.

Sweets101 Fri 17-Mar-17 22:53:09

He isn't an adult, so why are you expecting him to act like one?

How many adults do you ask to let you help them wipe their butt @Sallysadlyseescertainty ? confused

Dixie2016 Fri 17-Mar-17 23:00:01

He is fully toilet trained thanks Sally. I wasn't angry about the diarrhoea I was angry because he refuses to let us wipe him after e goes to the toilet, despite repeatedly being told.

And we have tried all the exclusion diets and nothing makes a difference. But thanks for making me feel worse.

Sweets101 Sat 18-Mar-17 09:14:51

None of the exclusion diets helped DD either OP. Fruit juice made it alot worse but that was it. They did say it usually clears by 5 and DD is now 4 and things are much, much improved so hopefully the end is insight.

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