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How do you decide when to have another?

(18 Posts)
Freezingwinter Tue 14-Mar-17 14:18:11

Just what the title says really. How do you decide when to have another? Especially if you only have one. I currently have a 2 year old and keep thinking I want another baby NOW. We always knew we would like at least 2, just wondering how you know the time is right? Sorry if it seems a bit of a silly question blush

NotAPuffin Tue 14-Mar-17 14:22:21

We decided to ttc started ttc when DD was 10 months old and slept through every night for two weeks. We had always wanted a small age gap.

DS was conceived that night (we're very efficient!), and DD didn't sleep through again for another year.

ineedamoreadultieradult Tue 14-Mar-17 14:24:19

When DS turned 2 and we realised if we didnt have another soon the age gap would be over 3 years and I didn't want such a big gap. DS2 came along a few days after DS1s 3rd birthday.

redcaryellowcar Tue 14-Mar-17 14:26:59

Similar to 'notapuffin' we decided to go for it when dc1 started sleeping properly, our gap is just over 2 1/2 years. Think there will be pros and cons to each age gap, but ultimately whatever you end up with, you'll make it work.

ElspethFlashman Tue 14-Mar-17 14:31:35

Wanted a small gap so TTC just after our first turned one.

Tbh it was still terrifying. We started trying that month with a certain amount of dread. We wanted the end result but I dreaded another pregnancy and birth.

UnbornMortificado Tue 14-Mar-17 14:31:50

When the previous one grew up a bit. Not in some weird 100 kids and counting way, I'm PG with fifth but have an 11 year old and a 4 year old. This is my last pregnancy whatever happens.

Freezingwinter Tue 14-Mar-17 15:28:39

Thanks all for the replies!

Thing is he's my first and 2 right now.. But if I got pregnant right away he would be almost 3.. And I don't know what 3 year olds are like? If you see what I mean. Or whether we'd be able to cope! Lack of sleep wears me out now!

Sewingbeatshousework Tue 14-Mar-17 15:35:34

I wanted to start trying when DS turned 1, he had been sleeping through for some months, napping amazing and was just a delight. DH agreed a couple of months later & DD was born 6 days before ds turned 2.

Of course by the time she was born the toddler stage had well and truly kicked in and the days weren't quite as delightful 😂

Now pg again and DD & DS are just about to turn 8 & 10. Although it'll be hard going back to sleepless nights etc I think it'll be easier as they'll be at school all day and able to help out with the odd thing.

weeblueberry Tue 14-Mar-17 16:22:30

When DD1 was 14 months my PIL invited us on a holiday the next summer. We realised we didn't want a teeny tiny baby when we went away but I also didn't want to be too far along a pregnancy. We realised that the only time we could do it all would be to conceive in a short window the next month or else there would be a bigger gap between our kids than we wanted.

Luckily I got pregnant that month and she's now 23 months younger than my oldest. For us that was the ideal space but we know how lucky I was to get pregnant exactly when we wanted.

IndianaMoleWoman Tue 14-Mar-17 16:30:58

How easily did you conceive the first time? It took us three years and a few miscarriages. We knew we wanted two so we started trying when our first turned one, thinking it would take a while.

When I fell pregnant the second cycle, I assumed I would miscarry but I didn't. There are 22 months between them. It's tough but I'm delighted that the whole trying to conceive/pregnancy/labour thing is behind me forever and they're already really cute together (DD2 is 5 months).

Heatherbell1978 Tue 14-Mar-17 16:38:09

We always knew we wanted 2 and took quite a practical approach to it around our careers, holidays planned and when the best time for me to be on mat leave was. Luckily I conceived in the first month so it all went according to plan and DD was born 2 weeks ago. We have a 2.5 year age gap.

Freezingwinter Tue 14-Mar-17 17:20:50

Thanks all

It took 10-11 months to conceive first time around and we had just started fertility investigations
I'm already panicking that we will have a massive age gap if we don't conceive soon after we decide to try sad

Theworldisfullofidiots Tue 14-Mar-17 17:24:50

We had another one when it was practical, changed jobs, nursery fees etc. Im lucky I got pregnant first time with both of them so no waiting on that score. I have a 4 1/2 year gap between mine (currently 15 (just) dd and 10 ds). They are very close and I was worried they wouldn't be because of the age gap.

Gillian1980 Tue 14-Mar-17 19:59:06

We plan on starting to try when dd is 3, she's 19 months now.

It's very boring but in our case it's due to finances. We simply have no way of affording 2 lots of nursery fees so we're waiting until the free hours for dd kick in.

If we could afford it we'd try sooner, particularly as we're already 37 & 41.

Writerwannabe83 Tue 14-Mar-17 20:19:32

We decided to TTC when DS was 1yr 9m although by that time I'd been talking about TTC#2 for almost a year as DH had been very reluctant.

We caught pregnant first cycle but unfortunately miscarried and then it took another 10 cycles until I got another BFP. I'm now pregnant and DS will be 3.5 years old when new baby arrives which is a bigger age gap than I would have liked but unfortunately life can't be planned.

LittleEpisode Tue 14-Mar-17 20:26:52

We started trying when dd had just turned one. Ended up taking well over 2 years to conceive even though dd had been conceived on first time of trying. We have a 4.5 year age gap which is 2 years more than I wanted but has worked out really well. Dd adores her brother and it's like having an extra pair of hands! Plus I get to have most of the day with ds while dd is at school all day so it's worked out well for us this way!

tinypop4 Tue 14-Mar-17 20:57:41

When I started to enjoy parenting! So dd was 18mo when we started ttc and I fell pregnant (after a miscarriage) when she was 23 months.

Floridasunset Wed 15-Mar-17 08:21:55

We started trying when DD was 4 months and there will be a 15 month age gap. We didn't want a big age gap and had reason to believe it could take a long time to conceive!

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