help on reins(143 Posts)
I'm doing a sociology project on the use of reins. I used them with y own daughter and thought they were great.
I'm looking at how many parents use them, where demographically they are used most and if you didn't use them why not?
Please could you comment on this post, and let me know.
I use them on my 20 month old. The 'little life' backpack kind. They are a godsend as he won't hold hands, is a bolter but with the reins we can easily go out for walks. I'm in the south east.
My ds 2.6 loves his as it means he hasn't got to hold hands - his df is 6'4 so a bit of a stretch up to hold his hand!!
And he can walk with his older siblings without me worrying if we are just local!!
I'd never use them. Not in a month of sundays.
We had the Little Life backpack for DS1 (lived in East Anglia at the time). If you've ever tried to walk a cat on a lead you'll get a general impression of what it was like.... So we just held hands. Tightly if near the road. I don't really see the point of reins now unless the child has SEN. Much better to teach road safety and awareness.
I use reins on my 20 month old pretty much most of the time when we are out and about and she is walking,unless we are in the playground or similar. She Has no understanding or concept of road safety and awareness at her age, we obviously point out danger and try to make her aware but clearly she has no clue. Also they have saved her falling over countless time. She likes wearing them too!
I've used them with Dd a handful of times - she thought it was great! If she sees them in the house she tries to put them on herself and says "shop" (that's the only place we've been with them).
I've got sciatica so leaning over to hold hands has me in agony, as does prolonged carrying. So either the buggy or being able to stand up straight with reins is ideal. Dd prefers reins to buggy at the moment but she tires easily so I take both.
She's 19 months and we're in Devon. The reins are very basic navy blue ones, not the backpack style ones.
I used the ones in a rucksack. DD loved wearing rucksack, I could hold her hand and have the reins for reasssurance as she was otherwise a liability in car parks etc when first walking.
I've had four children and I didn't use reins at all.
I am quite a laid back type of Mum, but I made them hold my hand from a very early age and they were all really good out and about.
I also taught them road awareness and safety from an early age.
To be fair though, I had quite large gaps between my dcs.
I used them, but my dc are now 20 and 16 so not sure if my thoughts are relevant. Basically, I felt it gave them more freedom in built-up areas than holding them by the hand, let alone strapping them in the buggy; dd in particular was very wilful and certainly not to be trusted near roads. And we lived next to a main road...
Also felt that reins were safer than hand-holding if dd threw herself down in a temper (did I mention she was wilful?)- knew a little girl who dislocated her shoulder that way.
I had a friend who refused to use them, but her dd went everywhere in the buggy until she was 4 years old because she couldn't be trusted near roads, and that wasn't what I wanted.
I never had any negative feelings about reins: I and my brothers used them and they just seemed a normal thing.
Another littlelife backpack here. Ds didnt always want to hold my hand - I think it made balancing difficult for him. He wasnt much of a bolter but when i was pg with dc2 I couldnt physically have kept up with him. We will be using them this summer on dd as she is more of a bolter, but she is also better at holding hands.
I live in Denmark and actually had people tell me it was illegal to use reins. Unusual yes, illegal no. I had lots of stares, I mean LOTS but it was very much peoples brains not quite understanding or believing what their eyes were telling them. Then DS would notice them looking at him, would smile and say HEJ! And then without fail they said hej back and smiled. I did hear one person saying Look! LOOK at that over there! How smart is that!? Look!
The thing that I dont understand is this cultural double standard that child minders (who here only have under 3s) can use wrirst straps tied to their big prams and pushchairs and that is seen as acceptable and necessary but a backpack isnt.
I didn't really use them with DD1 (she was given a little life backpack and sometimes asked to use it for fun, but quickly lost interest and that was fine).
I am considering them for 15month old DD who is fascinated with jumping off the kerb. She often refuses to hold my hand and just bolts away. She doesn't stop when I call her. I might use it until she is a little older and can understand better.
In the main I would prefer she held my hand, but as a back up whilst she is so young I think it would be good. I am in Scotland.
I'm on South Wales. Used reins with DD1 both the backpack type and the harness type. She was one for running off and I was pregnant with DD2 when she was toddling so couldn't always run after her that well or bend to hold her hand. I gent it gave her more freedom to toddle along but I could still steer her away from roads etc. Didn't really use them with DD2. She's a lot more chilled than her sister and didn't run off (although she's started to go through a phase of that now).
Shropshire. DH and I use the harness type reins with our 19mo. She loves them - she asks for them in the park so she can go up the steep rough bank without falling.
She's still too short (been walking 6 months) to hold hands comfortably with either of us so we can let her walk rather than spend time in a sling or pushchair.
I use reins with my ds, proper harness type ones from mothercare not a back pack.
He is 2.9 unfortunately he runs. I don't use them much as he is good at holding my hand but if he runs off in a shopping centre I'll put them on or if we were walking near water or a busy main road.
We're in West Yorks.
I don't know why people have an issue with them. Surely keeping your child safe is the most important thing?
I kept my children safe, I just didn't use reins.
I wish my ds would let me use them on him... he's not a hand holder and loves to walk everywhere but he goes all boneless and has a paddy as soon as he knows he's tethered 😣
To the smuggy mcsmugsons above - it's a case of either reins or keeping them in their buggy for some people. Lucky you that your child is so obedient
London. I didn't use them. Taught DD to hold hands from an early age but did have a wrist strap thing we used occasionally as a "back up".
South Yorkshire. We used harness style reins on dd. She was an early walking, buggy refusing bolter.
Will use them again if this next baby is similar.
We use them sometimes with DS1 (2.5) particularly if walking in crowded areas (e.g. train stations) or near water. His grandparents feel much safer taking him places with them on. We have the little life harness/rein set - you can leave the harness on without the reins and just clip the reins on when you need it, harness doesn't get in the way like a backpack. I wear DS2 in a sling and wouldn't dream of just walking out of the house with DS1 by the hand - I simply can't run fast enough to catch him if he bolts. So, like a pp, it is buggy or reins, and DS1 is fine with reins.
We're in London.
They're just so demeaning. I can certainly see that they make a parent's life easier, but then so would gagging them, handcuffing them etc etc.
They are really frowned upon here (leafy shires). If I see someone using them, there are almost always nudges and stares from other people behind their back.
I think part of the problem is that women are so keen to get back to work (for various reasons) that they have their DCs far too close together and are, understandably, unable to manage 2 under 2 (or 3).
Not sure what the solution to this is tbh, I don't blame the individual parents necessarily, they are usually making the best job of it they can. I do think the use of reins is symptomatic of a wider social problem though.
...and whether DCs 'like' them or not is neither here nor there, DCs are too little to understand the social implications of being put on a lead and we, as parents have a responsibility to ensure their dignity is maintained (see also public nappy changes etc)
My DS loved toy guns (thanks DBro ) but I'd never let him play pretend 'shoot-em-up' games. Just no.
My DD is 18mo, been walking since 10 months, and is really dinky! She actually insists on holding hands (even when it's not all necessary!) but I use a little monkey backpack with a tail for me to loop round my wrist when we go near main roads, just as backup. She's so small she'd be hard to grab! and still so young that she's only just learning to listen to me and what I mean etc.
Leafy SW London and I've just got some for my 14mo DD.
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