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Does your 3 yr old boy have 'friends'?

(13 Posts)
Mrstumbletap Thu 09-Mar-17 17:38:59

My DS is 4 in a coup,e of months and attends nursery 2 days a week, every time I pick him up he is playing on his own. With other children around him but playing with the giraffe, tractor, lego etc on his own. When I look it does look like most of the children are either playing on their own or maybe with just one other.

What are you 3.5 yr olds like? do they have best friend? Do they run in too see their friend?

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome Thu 09-Mar-17 17:46:02

My DS didn't really have friends until just after 3.5. He was happy at nursery & would play with other children if they happened to be doing the same activity but was equally happy on his own. He is 4.5 now & is only now starting to get a "best" friend, he will still happily play with a variety of children

Mrstumbletap Fri 10-Mar-17 20:27:57

Thank you for your reply.
It's like they just play next to each other but don't really engage with each other. Hopefully the chatting to each other and friendships will form in reception then like your DS.

StorminaBcup Fri 10-Mar-17 20:30:56

My ds is 3 1/2 and he has friends (ones that he consistently names) but they tend to play next to each other not with each other. Have you asked his key worker if he interacts with others while he's there (if you're concerned)?

triskele Fri 10-Mar-17 20:34:31

My ds has just turned four. From about 3 he's had 'proper' friends - certain other children he favours who favour him at nursery. Also another little boy we have know since babies from a baby group who he always says is his best friend, along with me, Bea, Freddie and Hudson etc.

There are other kids at nursery he always says he doesn't like. Funnily enough they're the ones with the rude parents!

Mumtobe12 Fri 10-Mar-17 20:36:58

From my own experience I'm still friends with my best friend from nursery but I think that's rare quite normal to just play alongside at that age🙂

Funnyonion17 Fri 10-Mar-17 20:48:48

My DS is coming upto 5 and it was only 4.5 that most the nursery kids started interacting and playing together. Before that they all looked a bit lost bless them. Mine was shy too so we had plenty of teething problems to begin with

Mrstumbletap Fri 10-Mar-17 20:54:02

I have spoken to his key worker but she doesn't seem bothered really.

I ask every time I pick him up, "did he play well with others? "has he made any friends?" etc and they say yeah he sat next to X and played on the computer, but I think that is because they have to share and take turns on it.

I picked him up today and he was sitting at the snack table just sort of singing to himself and chatting away not chatting to anyone on the table.

Breaks my heart a little when I think he doesn't have any friends.

TinyTemperamental Fri 10-Mar-17 21:26:41

My DS is 3.5 and goes to nursery Mon-Fri. He too doesn't have any specific friends but his key worker says that he just joins in with the other children for whatever activity.

I went for a workshop at his nursery once and they said that parents shouldn't be concerned about this as children don't make 'best' friends till about 6-7 yrs, when they truly understand the concept.

StorminaBcup Fri 10-Mar-17 21:35:19

If your ds's keyworker doesn't seem worried about your ds then I wouldn't worry too much. In my experience they tend to be pretty keen at picking up on concerning behaviour. My ds nearly got a referral because he didn't smile or seem to settle in his new room. Turned out he didn't like his key worker, they moved him and he was fine.

It's hard not to worry though.

Mrstumbletap Sat 11-Mar-17 08:56:56

You are right, when he is a bit older he will form proper friendships and his keyworker is there all day and would be concerned if there was a problem.

What is interesting though is my friends little girl has just turned 4 and seems to have made friends at nursery, comes home and talks about Emily lots, trots in to nursery in the morning itching to see Emily etc. Which couldn't be any further than my DS, he loves nursery but it's the toys he loves not the other children. I wonder if girls or boys form friendships at different times?

Funnyonion17 Sat 11-Mar-17 17:03:34

Op honestly a year ago my DS had no friends, wandered around by himself and it was heart breaking. Now he too comes home with so much to tell me and stories of his friends. It's an age thing that's all and most don't have friends till at least 4 or 5 and even then they can be quite fickle. Diff child every day!

insancerre Sat 11-Mar-17 17:11:01

Don't worry
It's totally normal
It's called 'parallel play' and it's what most children do
Girls tend to have specific friends earlier than boys because they tend to develop social skills earlier than boys
Boys tend to play in their o little bubble and can be quite self absorbed while girlls tend to need others in their play
Boys are a bit older when they start to involve others in their play

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