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Does anyone else get annoyed when someone says how clever another child is who is the same age as yours?

(14 Posts)
justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Thu 09-Mar-17 15:49:16

This may sound petty...

My daughter has a distant relative who is 3 weeks older. Never met. My daughter is 25 months old and I have zero concerns.

I've just spoke to my mum on the phone who visited this other 2 year old yesterday for the first time (lives quite far away) and she kept saying "you can have a proper conversation with her and shes only 3 weeks older than DD.. she's so clever.."

Bla bla bla. Like how do I respond to that. I just said "wow.. thats lovely etc ".. I didn't sound petty on the phone but I feel it.

Obviously my mums interpretation of a convo with a toddler may be different to mine but nevertheless she was openly saying how clever she is and how she's only a tiny bit older than DD.

My mum does have a tendency to compare tbh.

I don't know why this sort of stuff bothers me. Does it anyone else?

I'm over it now but just curious!

originalbiglymavis Thu 09-Mar-17 15:52:32

Not really. Kids develop at different rates and there are other factors too. Plus people lie through their teeth and exaggerate!

MrsDustyBusty Thu 09-Mar-17 15:56:44

It doesn't bother me but it bothers one of my sisters in law. She doesn't seem able to tolerate our mutual nephew. He's a couple of months older than her son so he is a bit more advanced. You can't mention the older boy without her having something to say to cut a child little more than a toddler down to size.

She toilet trained her son before he was ready because the other - older - child was trained. She's teaching him to read now under the same motivation. It's ruining the friendship there should be between two little boys who actually like each other and play nicely together and makes all the adults wary and uncomfortable.

Sparklydress Thu 09-Mar-17 16:01:24

Its just your mum I think. I always get off the phone raging after I speak to mine, so bored of hearing how much busier my sister is than everyone else in the world hmm

SavoyCabbage Thu 09-Mar-17 16:01:50

It wouldn't bother me as I know my dc are the best. grin Also, I couldn't fully listen to detailed information like that about a baby I don't even know. It's too dull.

justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Thu 09-Mar-17 16:02:22

Oh dear that's horrible mrsdusty.

I definitely don't compare my daughter to others and have no concerns whatsoever but sometimes I feel my mum compares and is a little insensitive.

Or perhaps I am just sensitive! A trait I get from my mum!

Blinkyblink Thu 09-Mar-17 16:02:37

Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I know my children rock. That's all that matters to me.

justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Thu 09-Mar-17 16:04:10

Mine is the opposite sparkly. Oftern criticising my sister as a mother whilst I constantly defend!

Ha savoy yep I must say although I was rattled and I just thought, yea great, I don't know the child... moving on... !

Justwantcookies Thu 09-Mar-17 16:09:01

It wouldn't bother me.

My MIL used to do this but about my children. If she met any of our friends and their kids and they happened to mention something she would leap in and say Oooo X was doing that ages ago or Y did such and such today. Even when they were little babies and doing nothing! I used to cringe so much. And it got the point that I used to warn my friends to take no notice as much of what she said was a load of crap anyway and nothing like what she was going on about.

If you listened to her you'd think my 2 year old was a concert pianist, speaking 2 languages and a world class gymnast.

justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Thu 09-Mar-17 17:14:55

justwantcookies oh dear! I can distinctly remember my mum at war with another! "She can do this.. she's going to be a journalist, aren't you?.." I was about 9 and mortified!

Whatsername17 Thu 09-Mar-17 21:31:23

I'm another one whose mum and mil would have people believe my dd1 was a member of mensa. I think people assume children who talk early are 'cleverer'. They aren't and it all evens out.

fabulous01 Thu 09-Mar-17 21:33:38

It means nothing. One of my friends once said she didn't make friends with children same age so that she didn't have that issue.
But by way my twins are fabulous and will be so smart and talk very early.... only joking 😀

WindwardCircle Thu 09-Mar-17 21:39:40

I think it depends if it's done to point score, or if it's actually true and worth remarking on. It's the difference between "little Johhny is clearly a musical genius, he picked out Twinkle Twinkle on the piano at six" and "little Johnny is a musical genius, he passed his grade four with distinction at six".

Love51 Thu 09-Mar-17 21:44:27

I saw the title and thought, nope, I cope with it - unless OP is referring to her Mum! Mine countered me telling her I was pregnant, with 'oh, and did you know x is pregnant'. Twice. Two different pregnancies. My niece is the best thing to happen to any family ever. I know she's just as bad to my brother about my kids, but I'm not sure if he (or his wife) have twigged that she does it both ways. I hate comparisons, I want my kids to do well, I read with them, etc, but mainly I want them to be able to rub along with others without pressure to perform or 'be the best'. I was far to old before I realised that collaboration is more effective than competition.

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