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Controlled crying (7 months old)- sharing a bedroom with older siblings...give up?

(19 Posts)
Maxfell2008 Wed 08-Mar-17 13:43:35


My 3rd son is 7 months old.

He shares a bedroom with his 2 older brothers ( 8 & 5 respectively).

My question is this. Am I cruel mother to start controlled crying if this disturbs my older sons?

I am worried for that they will wake or just lay awake hiding their heads underneath the duvets until their baby brother falls asleep....

As at this rate my 7 month old will be co sleeping... and the husband will be on the sofa.... BIG FAT NO.

Help and pointers please!


p.s baby is currently on 45 mins of controlled crying with no let up.... give me strength....

Ellieboolou27 Wed 08-Mar-17 18:44:51

It's probably not ideal while they the older ones both have school the next day, could u hold out to Easter when the older ones don't have to get up for school?
I'm probably too soft through as my 18 month old sleeps in my bed despite having her own room. I did try putting her with my 4yo dd but she complained that younger one kept awake sad

Ellieboolou27 Wed 08-Mar-17 18:45:45

My younger also didn't get the cc, I tried one night for 3 hours not a tear in sight just screaming, gave up after that!

attheendoftheday Thu 09-Mar-17 10:33:46

I don't think that controlled crying recommends leaving a baby crying for 45 minutes!

I don't think it would be fair to do while sharing with siblings. Can't the baby share with you instead?

Moanyoldcow Thu 09-Mar-17 23:12:39

You are leaving your baby to cry for 45 minutes? Sorry, why did you have a baby?

I know that it's utterly shitty to have s baby that doesn't sleep but that is awful. How would you feel if someone left you alone to cry for 45 minutes?

It's a terrible thing to do anyway and worse to subject your other children to it.

I actually can't believe this post.

scottishdiem Thu 09-Mar-17 23:15:55

"I actually can't believe this post."

I was going to go with 3 kids in a two bedroom place (based on what has been said) and ask about that. Not long now and controlled crying will seem a quaint little problem.

MaisieDotes Thu 09-Mar-17 23:17:23

45 mins seems a bit long. I put DC3 in with his older brother at 7mo but they were both good sleepers.

I think if he's not sleeping keep him in with you for another month or two then try again.

Ellieboolou27 Fri 10-Mar-17 02:13:33

moanyoldcow how bloody rude!
scottshdiem I actually can't believe there are people as ignorant as you out there, what business of yours is it on how many kids or bedrooms the op has! Your comments both of you are utterly disgusting and ignorant, as is your understanding of CONTROLLED crying, the clue is in the word controlled.

I agree with the other two posters who suggested keeping baby with you for a bit longer.

Trifleorbust Fri 10-Mar-17 06:58:01

I'd say the baby is too you g to be sharing with two older siblings. It must really be disturbing them.

Moanyoldcow Fri 10-Mar-17 07:50:49

Just because a person wants to do something doesn't make it right.

Controlled crying is not about leaving a child crying for 45 minutes - that is crying it out and it's horrible. You wouldn't leave an adult crying for that long without comfort and it's insane people think it's ok to do that to a baby who is unable to express themselves.

I stand by my comment and I don't care if you think I'm ignorant or rude.

Ellieboolou27 Fri 10-Mar-17 08:34:38

That's right controlled crying is different from cry it out so where in the op's post did she say she left her baby to cry it out? She said, if u read it properly, controlled crying 45 minutes, google controlled crying as I seen a bit confused

Ellieboolou27 Fri 10-Mar-17 08:35:01

* u seem

scottishdiem Fri 10-Mar-17 08:41:18


I never questioned the controlled crying. All I did was hint at the idea of disrupting the sleep of two primary school children for the sake of a third child in the same isnt going to be a big problem compared to the litany of issues that comes with having three children share a room.

llangennith Fri 10-Mar-17 09:03:01

You can't allow your older sons to be kept awake by the baby! That's so selfish! You'll have to have the baby in your room and cope with the crying as best you can; like other parents.

Moanyoldcow Fri 10-Mar-17 09:04:37

45 minutes no let up? That is crying it out. I'm not at all confused.

Moanyoldcow Fri 10-Mar-17 09:06:03

Post this is AIBU and see the answers you get there if you think I'm rude and ignorant.

Being offended is the first port of call when someone knows they're in the wrong.

notanothernamechangebabes Fri 10-Mar-17 09:15:10

I'm not an expert by any means, but I thought with CC the baby wouldn't be left to cry for so long?? Is that not CIO?

As someone cosleeping with a 6 month old, and DP sleeping in the other room, Is obviously a bit biased, but this doesn't sound good to me- for anyone.

It's not good for baby. You sound q stressed out by it, and I'm sure your other 2 boys will be. Does not sharing a bed with your DP for a few months more, while you sort sleeping out more gently, matter to you more than the emotional wellbeing of your three children??

stitchglitched Fri 10-Mar-17 09:18:28

I don't understand why you would move a baby so young into a room with older DC rather than keep him in with you. It would be disturbing for them even without the controlled crying.

somewheresomehow Fri 10-Mar-17 16:20:13

a baby of 7months is too young for controlled crying they need comfort, cuddles and care not screaming for 45 mins because you want them to sleep

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