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Urgent advice needed

(24 Posts)
mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:14:12

If your child is 13 and sensible and has a phone which you can keep in contact with .. and the child is not feeling well. Has a migraine and body aches feeling weak.
And your kids are on child protection plan. Are you not allowed to leave them home alone then?

Sherlock35 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:19:42

Depends on why they are on a Child Protection Plan, really...

PotteringAlong Fri 03-Mar-17 17:20:25

Don't know. What does the protection plan say? How long does he need to be left for?

mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:20:45

Emotional harm

Heratnumber7 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:20:53

Why OP?

mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:23:14

I'm doing everything that's on the plan.
I believe there is no age restriction and have asked colleges and they don't think there's an issue.

mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:23:50

Sorry didn't get that. Op??

Heirhelp Fri 03-Mar-17 17:24:50

I would worry about leaving an ill child at home by themselves. Why would you be leaving then at home and for how long?

missyB1 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:24:51

Don't take any chances is what I would say.

Heirhelp Fri 03-Mar-17 17:25:18

OP means original poster.

mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:27:45

What even if s child is 13? And isn't seriously ill it is feeling weak and has a migraine and needs to sleep it off?
Obviously if the child is really badly ill then yes I would stay home but this wasn't serious.

LadyPenelope68 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:29:15

Your child is ill, your child is on a Child Protection Plan - yes, you should be staying at home with them!

lougle Fri 03-Mar-17 17:29:37

There is no legal age limit for leaving a child at home alone. But if a child comes to harm and that harm could reasonably have been prevented with adequate supervision, and most reasonable people would have given that supervision, your judgement for leaving the child without supervision could be called into question and it could be considered neglect.

So, the questions I would ask myself before you consider leaving him are:

Are you sure it's a migraine?
Does it fit the pattern of a migraine?
Does he usually get migraines?
Do his migraines usually behave like this?
When he has a migraine, can he ask for help if he needs it?
Do you need to leave him so badly that it outweighs his need for you to be with him?
Is there anyone else you could leave him with or ask to be in the house with him?
Is there anything on the Plan regarding seeking medical attention or supporting him when he is unwell?

Heirhelp Fri 03-Mar-17 17:30:47

OP You seem to want people to say it is fine but as you are posting I assume that something is telling you that it is not fine or are you just concerned what SS would think? I think what is in the best interests of your child is the most important. I would say that would be to have a caring adult around to make sure that they are OK and get them anything they need.

Why do you need to go out?

lougle Fri 03-Mar-17 17:31:57

I wouldn't want to leave a child at home alone with a migraine. I get migraines and my ability to process information and make judgements is impaired during and after a migraine. I function because I'm a parent and I have to. But I notice the impairment.

mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:34:41

Don't need to go out as such but had to go work.
I'm not asking for sympathy. I am asking for advice.
Yes I am worried what ss would say . And iv never done this before but as you are aware work cannot let time off for anyone above the age of 5 but primary school age u wud still stay with them no matter wat.
What trying to say is can one incident lead to my child being taken off me?

Cosybythefire Fri 03-Mar-17 17:35:00

From what you say, i wouldn't leave a child in that situation.

Has this already happened OP?

mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:37:29

Yes this incident took place today and I have a review meeting on Monday so yes I am panicking . But I have asked my colleagues who are teachers and they have confirmed that if child is seriously ill then yes but thy know my child nd sed thy have left their 14 year old home alone fir a week .

mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:41:24

Yes it had happened

mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:47:31

I'm guessing everyone is thinking . There's no further advice as I've stabbed myself in the foot

lougle Fri 03-Mar-17 18:55:36

Okay, try to calm down. It's already happened, so there is nothing you can do to change it. Try to use full sentences so we can understand the problem and help.

So you have a 13 year old DS on a CPP for emotional abuse, and he wasn't well, with a migraine, but you were stuck because you needed to work? You thought he'd be ok alone at home as long as he had a mobile phone to call you, because he just needed to sleep it off. But now you're worried that you'll be seen as neglectful?

I think all you can do is set out your decision making process. Think about those questions I asked:

Were you sure it was a migraine? Was it typical for him to feel a bit weak with a migraine? Were you confident that he didn't need to see a doctor and could just sleep it off? If so, ok. Next:

Were you happy that he was safe at home? Had you agreed what he would do if he felt more unwell (phone you?). Did he have a number for you? Was there food for him for lunch time? Did you call him to check on him in the day? (Shows you were concerned for him). Ok, great. Next:

What would you have liked to do:

Ideally, stay home. Explain why you couldn't, what steps did you take to try and arrange time off, was this refused? Etc.

They just want to see that you are taking responsibility for his emotional wellbeing.

Cosybythefire Fri 03-Mar-17 19:06:37

You haven't stabbed yourself in the foot.
You've been given good advice from lougle.
If the situation comes up again in the future do you have someone you can call on to stay in your house while you go to work?

mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:08:52

Thanku Louge
Yes it is my 13 yr old daughter.
All the questions you have asked me..
Answers are yes. It wasn't migraine but was a headache like migraine . Her body was tired and she felt weak.
She needed to sleep and rest it off. She had been feeling like this all week but today she needed to rest it off. My child is very sensible and doesn't make things up. So she was genuine. Yes she had a mobile phone and there is landline phone too. My number is on the fridge if anything happened to her mobile.
Yes I had my phone on me all day at all times. I txtd and called her through out.
She had my work number aswell and can ask to speak to me asap.
I only live 10 minutes away from home.

mee16 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:11:04

Problem is I don't have anyone to lookafter her. Family lives up north and I'm in West Midlands.
I have asked my neighbours to check and now will take their number

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