I don't want to write this post but im hoping I can get some advice / opinions.
to keep it short, I have BPD/EUPD. since I was young, don't cope well with people/ relationships. I struggle with being a mum but my kids are fed well, clothed and basics looked after, but the emotional, huggy, supportive part I find even harder. I have near no bond with ds2 he is either angry or teary and I hate the thought that my mental health and parenting is damaging (or has damaged his childhood)
its like my childhood all over again, i fear the cycle will re-run when he is older and he will be sitting in a therapy room!
he wants to live with his dad who has agreed to have him, his dad is more likely to sit and talk/ listen than fly off the handle then go and sob into a pillow.
problem is his dad is sharing a room at a friends house due to lack of funds for a deposit and cost of private renting, so has no where to keep ds. i went down the housing to see if they could help for the sake of mine and ds mental health - not for a free home. but they seemed to think it was a plan to get ex P a flat.
ds is hard to talk to and smashes his belonging through frustration. he cant talk to me but can with his dad. he takes it out on his 6yr old sis, will push, hit and scream at her even if shes just asking him a question. theres been days when ive been so low and ds has been angry where ive had to stop myself calling his dad and saying ''come and get him i don't care where you go''
i was considering calling SS to see if they could help ex P get some help with housing, but im worried. i don't want them thinking i cant cope with the kids and they take them all off me. ex P has said he would take both DS's but DS1 isn't sure how he feels about that. i have a DD from another partner (ex). i have a closer bond with DD and it would be the end of me if they took her away from me.
SS was involved in my childhood and was put in care for a few months, i want them to help me but im scared they will make me feel constantly on edge and make me worse? i really don't know what to do.
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could social services help?
5 replies
happyfrown · 03/03/2017 10:23
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