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Going through a hard stage with my toddler....

(10 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Thu 02-Mar-17 08:14:00

Do you ever have days where you just feel annoyed by your child?

My DS will turn 3 in just over two weeks time and his behaviour and moods have gone wild over the last week and time with him is not enjoyable.

He's defiant, he won't do anything he's told or asked, he cries and whinges all the time, he's hitting and kicking out when he doesn't get his own way and he just generally is not being nice to be around at the moment.

When I picked him up from nursery the other day they also passed comment about the changes in his behaviour and I felt pretty mortified.

He's just such hard work at the moment and I feel like I'm constantly shouting at him. I look at him when he sleeps and think he's such an angel and I love him so much but when he's awake I just feel drained by him.

My DH is currently out of the country and has been for 6 days now and I'm pregnant (and having a rough time with it) and I think those two factors aren't helping. I think my patience levels may be a little low, I don't know. My DH is back in 4 days and I'm counting them down!! ☹️️

I just feel guilty because of how much I seem to be snapping at DS but he seems to have had a personality transplant and I'm finding it hard to manage.

My FIL has picked him up from nursery twice this week just so I can have an extra hour home alone without DS and having to deal with his tantrums and I feel guilty about that too.

I love the bones of DS but over the last week he's been like a devil child and every day feels like an exhausting challenge.

Please tell me it's a normal phase....

GlitteryFluff Thu 02-Mar-17 08:16:49

I hear you, I totally hear you.
DS is 2.7 and I'm so drained by him.
One second we're loving life and the next I'm wishing away his toddler years.
No advice but no you're not alone.

HughLauriesStubble Thu 02-Mar-17 11:18:56

I could have written this. We never had terrible 2s so it was a huge shock when he turned three and literally changed overnight. He still isn't naughty as such, just very defiant, not listening and getting annoyed when told no.

I've found that giving 1 warning and following through on punishment consistently has helped.

Other than that, gin

SpookyPotato Thu 02-Mar-17 12:08:24

Same here OP and other posters.. I feel guilty saying this but nice to read other toddlers are the same as my DS. He is 2.10 and half lovely, half testing constantly and hitting when he doesn't get his own way. I've just had a baby and it's actually got easier rather than harder, just because late pregnancy is so tiring/achey and dealing with him was hard! All I can say is... stay strong and eat lots of chocolate.

SpookyPotato Thu 02-Mar-17 12:09:30

Oh and same as Hugh, stay consistent even when giving in seems tempting, it pays off.

FATEdestiny Thu 02-Mar-17 14:00:13

This morning I offered DD (2y5m) the treat of going to see the animals in Pets at Home after shopping if she was good, given its on the same retail park as the Argos and Halfords I needed to go to.

She was a delight while I shopped, so duly took her to see the rabbits and guinea pigs and whatnot, where she was also lovely. Then we tired to leave....

She screamed and ran away from me in the shop. She screamed as I carried her out. She screamed and turned into a plank when trying to be strapped into her car seat.

So I snapped. Got her out of the car, sat her on the cold, wet floor and made her stay there until she was calm, quiet and ready to get into the carseat.

As I am stood next to a child sat outside on rainy, wet concrete whilst screaming - I get looks. I don't give a monkeys. I've had four children, I've been here before.

Its pants, but it's part-and-parcel of the toddler years. They do get nicer as they get older flowers

littleoctonauts Thu 02-Mar-17 21:21:15

Fate, do you not think perhaps your DD was just tired? Perhaps just getting in the car with her till she calmed down might have been a gentler approach. Bribery and understanding of consequences are both quite difficult things for a 2.5yo to grasp.

Btw, I have a 2.5yo. And I have 3dcs. So I am not saying this in the naive luxury of having no idea of that kind of situation!! I know what it's like, but sitting your toddler down in the cold and wet is nowhere near the answer sad

littleoctonauts Thu 02-Mar-17 21:22:45

OP, yes I do feel like that sometimes too. Just keep saying to yourself, this too shall pass..

FATEdestiny Thu 02-Mar-17 22:07:54

She was tired. It was already naptime by this point and we'd yet to have lunch.

Doesn't change the fact that if she is making her body ridged then I cannot fasten her into the carseat and if I cannot fasten her into the carseat we cannot go anywhere.

I believe what I did was absolutely the right answer in the circumstances I faced.

If I'd have had a biscuit in my handbag I'd have used bribery to get her in the car, but I didn't. I had already tried to bribe her into delaying the Pets at Home visit until tomorrow, when I realised the time.

My fault was in promising seeing the rabbits without anticipating what time it would be when we'd finished shopping. If I'd have thought about it, I would have realised it would be dinner time and so she'd be difficult to get out of Pets at Home because she was "hangry" and tired. But I didn't think about it until it was too late.

Writerwannabe83 Fri 03-Mar-17 08:26:20

Thanks everyone for your replies, it's nice to know I'm not the only parent with a Jekyll and Hyde child.

He's in nursery today so I get 10 hours of calm at home.

He wasn't too bad this morning - a few screamy melt downs about not wanting his pants on, not wanting his socks on etc and then I committed the most awful crime of putting his left arm in his coat sleeve first when he wanted his right arm done first confused

And breathe!!

Three days until DH is back!!!!!

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