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9 yr old emotional and stroppy help!

(11 Posts)
EyeStye Thu 23-Feb-17 09:24:32

My 9 yr old nearly 10 is God love her, driving me batshit crazy.

She is so emotional and overreacts to every tiny thing
Yesterday she had a hysterical crying fit for an hour because I said she had to have a strip wash as she refused to have a bath (her washing herself behind locked door for clarity). Wailing she didn't want a wash or a bath hmm. Rule is bath every other day, wash in between. Even though it was bath night I said she cld do wash instead as she'd had to have 2 baths in a row last week due to nits and hair washing (absolutely hated).

Girls were allowed an hour of Ipad time yesterday when they got home from school to unwind (we walked home so had had a leg stretch and it's the one evening a week no after school activities). She nagged and nagged her younger sister to come on her minecraft world, DD2 was knackered and just wanted to chill out watching TV but to shut her up said ok I'll come after this episode. They always argue on minecraft worlds about destroying each other's stuff and DD1 is just as bossy in virtual life and real life so i can understand DDs reluctance. Then of course Dd2 said she didn't want to when the episode finished and DD1 had a screaming fit at her ending in her hitting her sister and stropping off to her room screaming about broken promises. She then obviously lost the rest of her iPad time and I had calm chat with her saying understood disappointed but hitting not acceptable and cant boss her sister about and although Dd2 shouldn't have promised to go on minecraft with her and changed mind, she hasn't let it rest and had nagged and nagged Dd2

I'm just finding it SO exhausting. Even DD2 saying "oh do you know this Dd1" will result in her screeching of course I know that why are you telling me in a sarcastic horrible tone. She can be very kind to Dd3 who pushes her buttons much less and this weekend we are swapping rooms so she has her own space and doesn't have to share. She's hated getting changed etc in front of anyone for about a year. She was such a lovely girl I can't stand this change. Please tell me it's the hormones and it will get better! She has some breast bud development so I'm hoping it early teen strops and my lovely girl will return? All she wants to do is sit on virtual worlds and I wonder if I should restrict her screen time further? She does lots of after school activities gymnastics drama netball etc and reads a lot. But when she's at home just wants screens and if she's engaging with the family her behaviour is terrible!
I really miss her!

EyeStye Thu 23-Feb-17 09:47:57

Sorry so long. In brief, DD1 (9, 10 in April) is having hideous meltdowns - is it homones and when will it stop?!

EyeStye Thu 23-Feb-17 15:14:40

Bumping.... Help.... I've got to pick her up soon.... May repost in chat for traffic if no replies I feel so down about the constant battle with her... We're all walking on egg shells

Bloodybridget Fri 24-Feb-17 07:21:20

Sounds awful, I haven't got any advice I'm afraid, but from what I've read on here it's very common behaviour for children at this age, pre-teen strops and moodiness. The pre-teens section might be a better place to post, or if you read some of the threads there you will probably recognise your DD's behaviour!

You say you have three DDs, does the oldest get some one-to-one time and attention? Enough sleep?

Hope you do get useful advice and that this stage passes rapidly!

Freddorika Fri 24-Feb-17 07:25:33

Nothing you have posted sounds that unusual to me (also have three dds and a ds). She sounds tired. Hormones do kick in a bit at this age. I would be looking at an iron supplement and early nights. No screens during the week. Read her a story at night instead.

Freddorika Fri 24-Feb-17 07:25:33

Nothing you have posted sounds that unusual to me (also have three dds and a ds). She sounds tired. Hormones do kick in a bit at this age. I would be looking at an iron supplement and early nights. No screens during the week. Read her a story at night instead.

EyeStye Fri 24-Feb-17 07:34:11

Thank you for replies. I will head over to pre teen section - wasn't aware of that one! Iron supplement is a good idea as she's a poor eater and very slim.
I do find it hard to have one on one time with them all, the youngest is a very stroppy demanding tantrummy 3 yr old although it's the 6 yr old she fights with!
I try and read them all a story individually every night or have a chat with them. But if the 3 yr old is messing about then it gets pushed back later and probably my eldest is lost likely to miss out or get a quick joint story with 6 year old so no one on one. H works shifts so it's hard to take them out individually as he is so rarely around. I did send youngest two to childminder in half term and had an afternoon of book shop browsing and hot choc with DD1 which was lovely.
I will go for no screen time in week and see how it goes.

EyeStye Fri 24-Feb-17 07:35:48

Oh and lights are off at 9 but I often catch her reading much later and have to drag her out of bed in mornings. need to be stricter but tbh she can stay up later than me as I'm so exhausted by toddler early wakings

throwinshapes Fri 24-Feb-17 07:45:44

My dd is 9 and 10 in April too.
Lots of strops and histrionics.
Very emotional too.
Breast buds, also.
Gah. They are hard work at times. You have my sympathy. cake

Freddorika Fri 24-Feb-17 07:46:13

Three under 10 is knackering. You have my sympathy!!

EyeStye Fri 24-Feb-17 20:45:30

Glad it's not just mine throw !
freddorika thanks I see posts about 3 under 3 here and think ah I've got nothing to complain about but I find it hard they are all at different stages ! It's getting tough to take them all out together and keep them entertained although the park still does it.
DD1 has moved to her new room tonight and she's so happy no strips tonight although tears after a play fights went wrong and refusal to say "I'm sorry your ear got hurt" to DD2 although had long chat about how this wasn't a punishment as it was an accident but a kind thing to say.... No kindness forthcoming but no actual meanness tonight....

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