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(14 Posts)
mediocremumatherbest Sun 19-Feb-17 12:37:04

Are there any parents out there that never shout at their kids? Do they exist or is it just a figment of my wild imagination? And if so.. how?!

KatyN Sun 19-Feb-17 17:23:07

I don't really shout. The only time I would is if we were somewhere noisy and he was in danger but I can't think of an example.
However I have a fucking scary quiet voice which comes out when I mean business and can reduce my son to tears in seconds.
it's just not really in my personality to shout so I can't explain how I do it. My husband isn't really a shouter either. He is a teacher so has a million tricks up his sleeve for getting kids to do what he wants. I am probably a bit more laid back, I make an effort to not pick up on every little thing and nag. Then if there is something naughty I go in hard!! K

Oblomov17 Sun 19-Feb-17 17:25:51

One mum I know doesn't shout. I don't know how she does it.

JiltedJohnsJulie Sun 19-Feb-17 19:27:59

My BIL never shouts and actually gets quieter the more cross he gets. Honestly don't know how he does it.

mediocremumatherbest Sun 19-Feb-17 19:56:29

It's a natural thing isn't it? To shout? Always feel like a shit parent afterwards but that's only for about half a second.

ODog Sun 19-Feb-17 20:21:56

I kind of see it as a part of human nature/emotion and that it's not an awful thing for kids to be exposed to. Obviously not all day everyday but once in a while when they really piss you off isn't going to hurt and is actually probably maybe a good thing for kids to be exposed to (ie emotion, consequences of their actions). I do try to apologise and talk about it after.

Biscusting Sun 19-Feb-17 20:27:53

I shout, more than I'd like to. Usually just a short sharp shout of a word or two, but only when DC is about to do something dangerous or if repeatedly asked for something to be done and been ignored each time. (So basically every 3-10 seconds)
I hope it's just part of parenting, you can't be best buds all the time.

llamadramawoes Sun 19-Feb-17 20:33:14

It was part of my New Years resolution not to shout at the children. So far so good.

I have found that it just didn't work. They'd stop listening and I'd feel dreadful I'd lost control.

Voice0fReason Sun 19-Feb-17 20:56:55

I have learnt how not to now, but I failed spectacularly when they were little. I wish I could do it all over again because I would hardly ever shout if I had another chance.

mediocremumatherbest Sun 19-Feb-17 21:02:32

Voice of reason I would be interested to hear of any techniques/alternatives? Mine are 3&4 and I feel like if I'm not shouting they aren't listening!

MrsDc7 Sun 19-Feb-17 21:04:17

I shout... mine are 2, 4 and 6 and I have to shout to be heard above the racket. I don't like it though sad

Voice0fReason Sun 19-Feb-17 22:50:48

To be honest, I went on a parenting course. It made me realise that there was a reason for their behaviour and my shouting was only making matters worse (and increasing my levels of stress)
I highly recommend the book No Drama Discipline.

JaxingJump Sun 19-Feb-17 22:55:04

Would love any tips you can think of VoiceOfReason. And any thoughts that might help me change the way I approach the situations that lead to shouting.

SunshineHQ Mon 20-Feb-17 23:27:02

I used to cox (in rowing) at University.

It was really important to speak loudly and firmly to your crew in a race, but never ever shout.

Same policy has always worked well with my children. Shouting sounds like you are losing control, but try developing a loud and firm 'do not mess with what I am asking' voice works wonders.

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