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I feel so isolated

(6 Posts)
Rubyred1989 Sat 18-Feb-17 23:38:05

I moved to basically the middle of nowhere on an island in the mid atlantic confused(for my husband's sake)I've been here 4 years and can speak a bit of their language . I feel so out of place with my 3 month old in the new mothers club, they hardly want to speak to me in English and I feel so uncomfortable because they have fancy things and spend money on fancy things. I feel like a horrible first time mom since I hardly get hired for a job because of the language barrier and all the jobs are taken in this tiny place so I depend on my husband at the moment, i want to buy all the things the baby needs but it's so expensive ( we bought a 10,000 kroner stroller (900 USD). Sometimes I feel so bummed about the situation that I don't go to the mother's group. My baby gets her 3 month shots on Monday and I'm freaking out becauae it will be the first time. I wish I had my family here for support, hardly anyone to talk to about how I feel.

PeachBellini123 Sun 19-Feb-17 08:32:41

How long are you planning to live there? Surely the answer is to learn the language? Would your husband pay for a private tutor? Or are there classes you can go to?

A friend of mine moved abroad for her DH's job. She found a tutor online and took classes in the evening will DH had the baby.

Heirhelp Sun 19-Feb-17 10:02:50

The answer is definitely to learn the language. Can your husband help you? I am sure the new Mum's will be happy to help teach you new words.

What have you been doing for the last 4?years with your time?

Prokupatuscrakedatus Sun 19-Feb-17 10:32:46

I second the posters above.

What would you expect of a foreigner coming to live in you home town, joining your baby group? Would you think it OK for them to expect you to speak to them in their language? or would you expect them to learn the community language - that is - yours?

And no - there is no talent involved - it only takes motivation, interest, time and a bit of discipline.

Rubyred1989 Sun 19-Feb-17 11:36:51

I can speak the language just not understood what they speak so fast, im not asking to flat out speak English that would be ridiculous but when I say I don't understand don't flake me off and keep repeating the sentence like it would make a difference. The past 4 years I've been in and out of jobs since I can't seem to find something permanent, there is only so many jobs in a very small place for foreingners since I have to compete with the other foreingners as well while I renovate my school papers. With my last job I lost my baby due to miscarriage and afterwards they didn't call me for continuation on the job. I've explained to them that I understand some things they say but I'm totally lost when they speak so fast . The response was "tough learn it on your own". As for classes I did go to night school which was free but now they have put the prices for classes which is kind of hard to go to on one income at the moment. I'm currently waiting for the baby to be 6 months to be able to work while she is in daycare since they take them in at 6 months.

Rubyred1989 Sun 19-Feb-17 11:49:56

I'm not so worried about work at the moment since I recently met someone that school counselor that says can help me. It's just so frustrating I'm really trying to learn the language but when you don't tell me a fraction of what you are saying that i dont understand how am i supposed to look it up and learn it😕. My husbands aunt is a teacher and in front of her students asked me a question and I didn't understand a certain word and she got angry and started yelling what she meant in English. If I'm trying to learn the language she should have patience. I'm doing evrything possible to integrate into the culture 1) learn the language 2) socialize 3) cook their food prefrences and many more things 😊. I've seen Thai women that speak to their husband's in signs because they don't want to learn the language and refuse to socialize with the natives. It's not an easy language by the way old Norse.

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