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No one plays with me at school

(9 Posts)
12debs Fri 17-Feb-17 20:17:40

So today my 5 year old came home saying no one would play with him at school. He said nobody likes him. They all chose partners and nobody chose him.
I realise these are all different statements so i questioned them each. He normally hangs around with two boys today one of the boys told him to go away and stop following him ans that he didnt like him anymore..
The second boy told him at a different time today to 'go away cos your boring me' these boys are his best friends, he loves them so has been hurt by both boys comments.
The last 'nobody chose me' i figured the teacher told them to get into pairs and the two boys he hangs round with chose eachother so he was left with no1

I explained to him not to take it to heart and that they probably didnt mean their comments. And that they were probably just in funny moods or wanted to play something and he was distracting or interupring that. I used examples of times mummy had told him to go away when id been busy or when he had said it to me when he'd been busy and that it doesnt mean we dont like eachother
I told him hes great and they all like him and it will probably all be forgotten about next time he sees them. But hes said theyve had a little talk at schl and it wont be they dont like him anymore and he doesnt want to be like himself anymore?!?

What can i say or do to make him feel better? I kno fall outs like this will happen none stop at school but its the first time ive ever seen him doubt his character! And not want to be him cos being him isnt liked! Hes normally a very happy confident boy!

SauvignonGrower Fri 17-Feb-17 20:47:47

We've had a similar situation with our 5yo DD for past few months and don't really know what to do about it. I do think they still find friendships and negotiations about what to play hard to make sense of. But the feral atmosphere of school definitely doesn't help. We have found that telling the teacher helps and she arranges for someone to play with our DD.

12debs Fri 17-Feb-17 20:58:34

Its the first time he's ever said anything like this and we've broken up for half term week today.. So im hoping by the time he gets bk to schl it'll all be forgotten. But if it keeps happening i'll definatley have a word with his teacher. He came from a different nursery to most children in his class. So i think alot of them had already developed little friendship groups and there are even some little cliques of children who do everything together.m and dont let anyone play with them.
Talking to his teacher though shes always assured me hes fitted himself in great and has lots of friends and is confident at school.
Im starting to maybe think hes a bit of an all rounder though, he can get on with anyone but doesnt have a special bond with anyone so when it comes to choosing partners etc hes never chosen cos hes not close to anyone. If that makes sense? :-/

mummysmellsofsick Fri 17-Feb-17 21:20:52

My DS has had similar problems. It's heartbreaking not knowing how to help. We have talked to the school

wrinkleseverywhere Fri 17-Feb-17 21:27:38

DD said this in reception & again in Y2. On both occasions, I mentioned it to the teacher & said I'm sure it's nothing but could you just keep an eye out. Reception teacher spoke to me a couple of days later & said DD had had a few moments looking lost each playtime as she decided who/what to play with but was popular & it was nothing to worry about. Y2 teacher told me there were some friendship issues across a group of the girls in DD's class and they were monitoring it & working on it but she was aware DD had borne the brunt of it that week.
Perhaps give it a few days after half term and, if it hasn't settled down, speak to the teacher.

12debs Fri 17-Feb-17 21:36:02

Yeah i will talk to teacher if it continues. just makes me sad for him. He was soo happy when he started to bond with these boys. And they are both lovely boys. Ive seen them before when my sons been off a few days and hes turned up and theyve ran at him beaming and excited to have him back at school like theyve really missed him. They seemed to have such a lovely bond. I know he found the inital weeks at this new school hard when thy all knew eachother and he was the odd one out. So for him to feel like they dont like him anymore saddens me. Hes such a lovely outgoing kid and i felt bad throwing him into a schl where i knew he'd start on the back foot, with them all havin known eachother for a year. And taking him away from the class he'd met in nursery who he was very popular and happy in.
Just makes me question my choices. But i know kids are kids and they all do things like this and say things without much thought. Could have nust as easily been ppl from his old class. Just hope it passes and hes back to feeling happy in himself next week!

forfucksakenet Fri 17-Feb-17 22:22:46


forfucksakenet Fri 17-Feb-17 22:23:40

I so worry about this with my DC ... I'm absolutely certain it will be fine! It's just so sad to see them upset!

12debs Fri 17-Feb-17 22:55:32

Breaks your heart! Especially when they have to go to school and be in that situation every day! I know its all part of growing up buy doesnt make it any easier when its your baby 🙁

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