My DS 9 seems obsessed with electronics. How much screen time do you allow your dc's a day?

[Honey1975]

My ds is 9 and I'm becoming increasingly worried that he is becoming obsessed with electronics and anything with a screen! He rarely plays with any of his mountain of toys anymore, never reads books unless it's his school book which we have to make him read and he becomes angry and irritable if we tell him it's time to put down/turn off the electronic devices.

Him and my dd who is 4 are constantly arguing over who gets to watch what on tv or he just hogs the tv on his xbox without anyone else getting a look in. I am SICK of their arguing and telling tales. Half the time I don't know who's right!

The devices we have in the house are:

Tv
Xbox (hate it!!!😬)
DS
Ipad - DH's old work one which we've said the dc can share
Our phones - I don't let ds use mine but he sometimes goes on DH's.

The things I need help with are:
Setting limits - what do other people do?

Enforcing limits without an almighty bloody showdown every time!

Having consequences for basically disobeying me & going on the devices anyway, lack of respect.

Making it fair between everyone

Reducing screen time & getting him to do other things - he's not interested!

Please can anyone help?

[SeaEagleFeather]

We have a real problem with our oldest too. It's non-stop requests to be allowed to play a game

we have said that he ONLY gets to play a game if he's done his homework, then he gets 30 mins. We have had to be absolutely strict about that.

We've also said that when he is older and can think for himself when he can play and when he needs to switch off, we will ease up on the restrictions. Kinda hope that that will give him a push to develop some self-control in the long run.

With playdates we also have to ask parents of other kids not to let him sit too long on the other kids' iPad, Xbox, whatever.

If he get too much screen time, he gets very grouchy, over wound up and his behaviour deteriorates badly. We have to be careful even with TV, though sometimes it's okay for him to sit and watch it if he's tired or it's a particular programme.

Don't really like monitoring him so much, but until he can manage the screen time better himself, we have to be super strict

[Artandco]

7 and 5 year old. Zero screen time. We have no tv or iPads or games consoles anyway. Zero arguements as just not there. They play very well