Routine or not?

[VeryNecessary]

First time mum to two week old DS. Prior to having him, I read that book by she who shall not be named and decided I'd have my baby in a routine by six weeks.

Then he arrived.

He's (touch wood) a very easy going baby so far, sleeps well (albeit in smaller chunks than I'd like) is breast fed, with one expressed bottle a day and is happy to just gaze around when awake. Right now, the idea of forcing any kind of routine on this gorgeous little thing just feels so wrong, but I've read countless things about babies thriving on routine and knowing what's coming next and it's making me wonder whether I should try to guide him into one?

Due to age, it's more than likely he'll be our only baby, so I want to truly enjoy every minute of these early days - but am I 'making a rod for my own back'? (I fucking hate that phrase!)

[MoreThanUs]

If it feels wrong, don't do it. If it feels right, introduce a structure. You have to parent according to your (and partners) personalities or you'll be exhausted very soon.
I had the full on 3 hourly routine within days with DC1, more take it as it came with DC2 (small age gap) and focused on Eat Play Sleep with DC3 (larger age gap). Worked for us.

Hope you enjoy it, whatever you do.

[DeleteOrDecay]

In my experience they fall into their own routine. I never bothered with a routine as such when mine were small, a routine is something that becomes more important as they get older imo. But I did start to notice a pattern of regular sleeping/milk from around 3months and we went from there.

[teaandbiscuitsforme]

Just remember that routine doesn't have to mean 9am feed, 9:30 wash, 10am nap, 10:10 attempt to make a cuppa etc. A routine can just be a pattern of events that occur in a similar order every day. One example of this is the EASY routine although I've never got it to work myself.

You also need to decide if you're going to do a parent led routine (you decide what happens when) or baby led (watch what your babies habits are and use them to create a loose routine).

For me, I based my 'routine' around naps which you can't do at 2 weeks. Try at 12 weeks! Then I'd have a rough idea of the order I was going to things throughout the day although I always left feeding out of it. I'm more of an offer boob whenever kind of breastfeeder so that doesn't fit into set times or patterns necessarily.

Just remember that whatever 'routine' you go for, it'll change in a few weeks so don't get hung up on it!

[Coconut0il]

Definitely do whatever feels right for you. With both mine I've been more baby led, boob whenever with a very loose routine. DS2, 18 months is probably in more of a routine as I've gone back to work part time so we work round that. PrIor to 12 months I just followed his lead.

[Juveniledelinquent]

I've had three DC and every time I thought we were approaching a routine, something happened and it all went tits up.

[NotTheBelleoftheBall]

The only routine I imparted on DD at that age was to help her understand the distinction between day and night.

In the day time we are up and dressed and the curtains are open and the lights are on and we chat and play and things are interesting. At night time I keep it quite dark, she's in her PJs and keep it as relaxing boring as possible.

I imagine it's mostly the luck of the draw but DD (now four months) has a reasonable routine I'm braced for the sleep regression. I could do with her naps being longer and sometimes she throws in a 4:30am wake up which I could do without.

[confusedandemployed]

What teaandbiscuits said. DD put herself in a loose routine by 4 weeks. I thanked my lucky stars cos I always like to have a plan, but we were never over-regimented. On the other end of the spectrum I look at friends who just let their babies sleep whenever they felt like it (even now at age 4), eat whatever and whenever they chose and think I could never do it that way.