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Mini break without the baby??

(12 Posts)
Amazonmulu Tue 14-Feb-17 16:08:17


I need some advice... my oh and I are planning on going away for my 40th when the dd is 11m nearly 12m (May 2017).

Initially we were planning on 2n... but we've been invited to a wedding the previous day so he wants to leave the baby for 3 nights now sad At the moment she has really really bad separation anxiety (she is 8/9m old) and I'm worried that 3 nights is too long.

Also I don't want the wedding to ruin my 40th - eg we are away one night, the baby has a meltdown and we then have to cancel the whole of my 2n 40th trip.

Have you left your 11/12m babies? How long for? How did it go? And any advice on how to make it better is very welcome!


2014newme Tue 14-Feb-17 16:10:52

You sound like you aren't quite ready to leave baby yet for 3 nights.

NickyEds Tue 14-Feb-17 16:27:51

I left both of mine by this age but only for one night and only with my sister who lives 3 miles away so we were close by. If you're not ready then you're not, you won't enjoy it if you're worried all of the time.

Amazonmulu Tue 14-Feb-17 16:47:34

Maybe I need to hedge my bets... agree to wedding (I should say evening do!!) and if I'm not ok with it - more importantly if baby won't be ok - then pull out?

I'm torn as oh and I get about 2h a night alone. Of which 2h are spent cooking, eating, and watching tv and chilling out. We've not had a night out in a long long time. And sex? It probably been 2-3 months sad

EggsEleven Tue 14-Feb-17 17:04:04

I think it's down to personal preference rather than a right or wrong option. I haven't left 7 month DD over night yet but I don't think I could leave her for 3 nights when she is 11m. One night, two at a push.

She'd probably be fine, it would be me that would miss her and be an emotional mess grin

NickyEds Tue 14-Feb-17 17:21:32

Who are you 8u leaving her with? Do they see her a lot?

mimiholls Tue 14-Feb-17 18:48:57

I think it's really down to how you will feel and if you will be able to relax enough to enjoy it. Could you do a test night with her going to whoever will be looking after her for a night before to see how it goes? And you could be close to hand if anything goes pear shaped.

Amazonmulu Tue 14-Feb-17 19:03:11

Yeah sad am trying not to focus on how it will feel without her attached to me. I guess like I've left a part of me elsewhere.

We are leaving her with her GP. She stayed with them before for one night when she was very little and had no issues but that was pre separation anxiety.

I think a test night or even two is a great idea. The more familiar she is with them the better.

They don't live near by - about 1-1.5h away. But we see them regularly and she's always pleased to see them. Especially MIL.

uhoh2016 Tue 14-Feb-17 22:15:52

You should do whatever you are comfortable with. Personally I had left mine at this age for a few days, I was fine he was fine. I wasn't bf though and ds was with GP who he saw regularly so wasn't a new environment for him.
Could you do a few trial runs of baby sleeping over for the night?

Mrscog Wed 15-Feb-17 09:44:28

I think 3 nights as a first 'try' is too long - she'll be fine but you might not be!

Why not go to the wedding as a test run, then book your night/2 nights away for your 40th a few weeks later as a late birthday treat.

Semaphorically Wed 15-Feb-17 10:20:56

Do what feels right to you. If you want to postpone your trip away or you want to do something more child friendly as a family those are also entirely valid options if you'd prefer them. If you think you'll spend the two / three nights away feeling like crap because you're worried about her then you won't enjoy yourself anyway. It's not compulsory to want down time from your own children.

DH and I went on a "date night" when DD1 was about that age and both hated being away from her so now we do things that involve her, or go away individually for some rest.

LouBlue1507 Wed 15-Feb-17 12:38:31

I've just come back from a long weekend. DP and I went 2.5 hours away to a cottage and DD stayed with my mum for 3 nights. DD is 6 months old, has separation anxiety and was absolutely fine. We had a fab time and will be doing it again in the future. Your baby will be fine, honestly. They're are very resiliant more than you realise!

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