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Interfering parents/grandparents

(3 Posts)
Charlotte1981xxx Sun 12-Feb-17 13:26:17

I just wanted to get other opinions about my problem. I have 2 children 6 and 3 and I have always been a stay at home mum. I have enjoyed every minute. My parents lived 1.5 hours away so we saw them every second week and they had such a great bond and was always there for us and always had been. Unfortunately my poor dad passed away from cancer which was all pretty quick for us all. Since then my mum hasn't had the patience for my children. She is moving closer to us which will be amazing but since last June she has stayed with me and my hubby and children for half the week as her new house is getting renovated. I try all the time to make her time with us as good as it can be but her tolerance for my children is so low now. She keeps saying how naughty my little boy is now. She undermines my parenting all the time and is constantly shouting at my little boy. She says I am in airy fairy land and that I cut it out my mind. She is always giving advice on what o should do as in when my house work should be done, how the children should eat and when, how annoying my husband is; sometimes it is so constant I feel my confidence in myself as a parent is nothing now. I've tried talking to her, I've sent her things to read, I've broke down and told her but nothing changes. I am a very sensitive person. In the summer just as my dad had passed we were moving house and in the summer I struggled with grieving and also looking after my two wee ones in the house in the holidays and trying to pack but there was constant digs that I'm not doing enough, I sit about too much, I'm not disciplining the kids enough. I go withdrawn sometimes because I can't cope with it. All I want to ask is should she be able to do this (I haven't listed all the things) as there are so many. Little digs like 'awe has mummy not even put a vest on you' 'has mummy lost your gloves' 'tell mummy to do your hair' it sounds like I'm neglecting them but even when my dad was dying made sure my house is perfect and my kids got to nursery everyday with clean clothes and were always fed and watered and I try and spend lovely time with them. When k tell her she says I'm an amazing mum so why the need to keep bringing me down. I feel so low today and I feel I'm never given a break. I sit down and she says 'so do you just sit here when I'm not here' or 'when do you do your houseowkr' I honestly clean and clean and my house is spotless I don't know what else to do. Sorry for this rant

BackforGood Sun 12-Feb-17 22:54:41

I think many of us could never actually live with their parent, once they've grown up and had a family and home of their own - it's just too difficult.
To do it when you are both grieving makes it doubly so.
When I lost my parents, I became really irritable and 'short' with my dc. It is the reason I sought out some bereavement counseling. It really is a very common thing and normal part of the grieving process.
Sometimes it helps to know that.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 13-Feb-17 03:26:28

Your mother is dealing with her grief by obsessing herself with your life. You need to nip this in the bud NOW. These are your kids, your home, and YOU make the rules. She needs to know her advice is not needed.

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