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is this child displaying sexualised behaviour ?

(25 Posts)
lifesabeach Sat 11-Feb-17 17:55:06

my work colleague and I have noticed a child in our care, female aged 3, is regularly displaying what we can only call "grinding" moves. when she is laying down for her mid day nap, or laying on her tummy to be involved in a group carpet time activity, or sitting upright with her legs out at 90 degrees so her knees are touching together, these actions are visible. To our knowledge she isn't suffering from any urine infections (parents havnt advised of this). Is there anyone out there who may be able to give advice , or explanation for this ? thank you for taking the time to read this

dementedpixie Sat 11-Feb-17 17:58:41

I think she knows it feels nice and that's why she's doing it. Doesnt mean it's sexualised behaviour

wowbutter Sat 11-Feb-17 17:58:45

Totally normal. Tell her, if she isn't alone, that she should be doing that when she is alone, in her bed or cot, not in public. Keep repeating it and taking her to somewhere if she keeps doing it.

Or just ignore it.

TinselTwins Sat 11-Feb-17 18:00:07

Sounds normal to me, she's doing something that feels nice and comforting, to a child it's no different from sucking your thumb because it feels nice and comforting. She just needs to be told without any "loaded" tone or language that it's a private thing to do.

TheOnlyColditz Sat 11-Feb-17 18:00:27

No it's not, and frankly your work colleague AND you should be trained enough in child development to know this is very normal. Children masturbate.

lifesabeach Sat 11-Feb-17 18:33:47

thankyou, the onlycolditz for such a patronising comment, I'm only asking for peoples opinions. I hope to goodness youre not a nursery officer or child care professional

HalfShellHero Sat 11-Feb-17 18:38:02

Yeah not very socially acceptable but children do ,do this just needs to know it's private.

TeaBelle Sat 11-Feb-17 18:40:43

Colditz is right, anyone with basic safeguarding training g should know what sexuakised behaviour is. And if not you need to be talking to your designated lead, not asking the internet. if I knew who you were I would be raising this as a serious issuae

GraciesMansion Sat 11-Feb-17 18:40:55

the onlycolditz for such a patronising comment, I'm only asking for peoples opinions. I hope to goodness youre not a nursery officer or child care professional

I am a childcare professional and agree with everything onlycolditz said! If you're working with young children you should know that this is perfectly normal behaviour for young children. They're still very driven by sensory seeking behaviours to regulate themselves and this is just something that feels nice, like sucking her thumb.

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer Sat 11-Feb-17 18:44:16

It's very likely to be totally a totally normal developmental phase. Children often do that when they are feeling anxious or just because it feels nice.
However, I can also be a sign of something else. Personally I would log with the safeguarding officer at work it to be safe. Sometimes the little bits of the jigsaw that aren't so noticeable make up a complete picture that is.

TheOnlyColditz Sat 11-Feb-17 18:53:39

This is very basic safeguarding and development, and I am genuinely shocked that neither you nor your colleague knew what was going on. I wasn't trying to be patronising as such, but there really is no other way to convey to someone that they should, by law, know better.

TinselTwins Sat 11-Feb-17 19:16:35

Colditz was correct though, it's very worrying that you're asking the internet this question if you work with 3 year olds.

user1471441839 Sat 11-Feb-17 20:05:56

I'm concerned about your role with children if you need to ask this question on an Internet forum.

DaphneDeLaFontaine Sat 11-Feb-17 20:08:53

3 yo 'grinding' isn't sexualized behaviour.

Is this thread real?

wowbutter Sat 11-Feb-17 20:09:57

A lot of people who work with children are chronically unaware of child development.

LostMyDotBrain Sat 11-Feb-17 20:11:37

Have you actually had any safeguarding training? PP's are right, you should know how normal this is if you work with small children. Has your employer been lax with training?

DixieNormas Sat 11-Feb-17 20:16:19

I agree with colditz you should know this if you look after children

zeeboo Sat 11-Feb-17 20:19:39

Yes Daphne. I've nannied for more than one little girl who straddles the arm of the sofa or rubs against the floor. It is perfectly innocent masturbation.

I also agree that it is VERY worrying that a genuine childcare professional would be asking about a child in their cares behaviour on a public Internet forum.

Creatureofthenight Sat 11-Feb-17 20:21:07

This is actually a serious gap in knowledge for someone working with young children, OP. Sexualised behaviour can be an indicator of abuse, so you and your colleague really should know the difference between it and normal behaviour for this age (which is what this is). I hope you can raise this with your manager and ask for some training for everyone.

Jaagojaago Sat 11-Feb-17 20:23:23


thethoughtfox Sat 11-Feb-17 21:30:49

This has been posted twice under two different names. Pervert troll?

NeedsAsockamnesty Sun 12-Feb-17 01:13:41

It's been duplicated 4 times posted at the same time all under the same name.

splendide Sun 12-Feb-17 08:30:39

I'm not convinced this is really someone who works with children. Maybe best to let this thread die.

Jaagojaago Sun 12-Feb-17 09:06:40

Pervert troll

RedElephants Sun 12-Feb-17 18:34:47

lifesabeach I believe it could be called stimming, many children do it because it feels 'nice'.
Shame experienced/qualified people!! on here couldn't have said just this!!. instead of just shooting someone down!!
I know a few answered Nicely!!
I only know about this (someone on a another forum, tactfully told me about stimming) because my ds (hes 18 now) did it, he grew out of it, as did I !!!!
Not all childcare workers ie childminders work in a setting with line managers etc
Not all childminders have Childcare qualifications etc I know I didnt 9 yrs ago!!

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