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How to say 'bye' to DS next week when I go back to work

(11 Posts)
Derlei Wed 08-Feb-17 23:02:58

Hi everyone

Really silly question I'm sure but basically I start my Keeping In Touch days next week. This will be the first time I'll be away from an awake DS for more than 45 minutes (out of choice!). I'm bricking it but he'll be in good hands with the MiL, and it will do me good to start the process of getting my life back.

On the morning I leave for work, should I make a point of saying bye? Should I ask MiL to distract him and quickly sneak off? Is he likely to notice quickly that I'm not there, and is it a good idea to FaceTime him in the day? He's 8 months

Sorry that this sounds stupid, I'm just feeling a bit anxious about it all sad

cestlavielife Wed 08-Feb-17 23:04:33

Yes
Say " bye bye have a lovely day with grandma"
Then go
It will become a routine.
He will be fine
You will be fine

Verbena37 Wed 08-Feb-17 23:28:05

I'd just say mummy is going to the shop, see you in a minute and off you go.
He has no concept of time however so if you say bye bye, he won't even register.
He will be fine and probably won't even notice you've gone until feed time or sleep time, when he might get a bit teary. You'll establish a pattern which he will get used to.

TeaTeaTea Thu 09-Feb-17 15:11:03

Say goodbye and kiss and leave quickly, if he gets upset and you linger it'll make it worse for both of you. You said it yourself that he's in good hands with his Grandmother so if he gets upset he'll have cuddles and will soon be ok and off playing.
Not sure whether I'd FaceTime during the day though - can your MIL email/text you an update and a photo instead? If your DS saw you he might get upset again when you hang up.
Best thing though? The feeling when you finish work and go back to collect him is SO exciting!
You'll both be absolutely fine ;-)

teaandbiscuitsforme Thu 09-Feb-17 16:20:36

I would tell him the truth- mummy's going to work, love you, bye bye and leave. I found sneaking off only worked when I first went back to work but DD soon realised I was going so it was better to just explain what was happening.

I really wouldn't FaceTime. It'll only make you feel worse and it may upset him. Which will probably make you feel even worse! Just ask your mum for a photo at lunchtime.

You'll be fine! It'll all be one very normal soon.

thethoughtfox Thu 09-Feb-17 17:24:42

Never sneak off. That's how you get clingy toddlers who never know when mum is going to disappear (according to a baby book I read) Tell him and be brisk but cheerful with a hug or Hi Five and/ or a wave at the window; and don't make too big a deal of it. They read your face and if you look distressed and that this is a 'big deal', he will get upset too. Good luck x

Derlei Thu 09-Feb-17 19:34:36

Thanks guys that's great advice! I def won't do the sneaking off thing and yes on second thoughts Facetime wouldn't be the best idea!

To be honest it's not him I'm worried about, it's my MiL, he's going to run her ragged poor woman!

Teateatea - I'll be running up that drive like a mad woman I think!

waterrat Thu 09-Feb-17 22:58:58

Definitely don't face time. They don't understand and it will most likely make him upset. Qhen my daughter was 2 I left her overnight and the only tears were when I phoned !

He will be fine and I agree with others do say goodbye so that over time he gets into understanding what is happening.

Babies tend not to notice thst you are gone at thst age because they live so much in the moment. The goodbye moment might be tearful but he will be fine 5 minutes later !

dementedma Thu 09-Feb-17 23:05:09

Facetime? Seriously?

wonkylegs Thu 09-Feb-17 23:13:11

I'll be doing the same as you next week as my 9mo starts nursery (only 2days a week atm) so I can go back to work
I remember with my 1st that it's far harder on me than the baby and I think that's what is worrying me. I know in my gut there will be tears (from both of us) but he'll be fine pretty quickly once I'm out of sight and he realises there are new toys to play with.
I always used to kiss DS, give him a hug and say bye bye see you later before going off pretty quickly. I know he cried initially but it never lasted long and very quickly it got to the point that he loved nursery , I'm hoping that it'll be similar for no.2

2anddone Thu 09-Feb-17 23:19:44

I have worked in childcare for years and my advice would be a quick 'bye mummy is going to work have a fun day with....' then go and don't linger.
Then at collect time go in but don't be upset if he isn't super enthusiastic about you returning! It's amazing how many cry when parents leave then are fine and don't want to leave when they are collected!!

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