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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

My baby "looks like a scrotum"??

27 replies

user1486495351 · 07/02/2017 19:36

Hey there! This may sound a little weird but I really need advice.

My fourteen year old brother met my daughter (8 days) for the first time yesterday and took one look at her, said "she looks like a shriveled-up scortum" and burst out laughing- a little insensitive. And whilst I obviously disagree I also started laughing- a lot. My mother was also there and jokingly reprimanded him through a smirk.

My fiancee on the other hand, didn't see the funny part as she is pretty much refusing to talk. She said that I "called our baby a testicle" to which I argued that I didn't and simply found the statement funny (which it was)
I've tried apologizing but she doesn't particularly want to talk at the moment (which is proving difficult with a newborn). She's also annoyed at my mother for not saying anything about it.
I'm sure my brother wasn't trying to be offensive and was just joking around...
What am I supposed to do?
Do I just wait?

Thanks

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Stormwhale · 07/02/2017 19:39

I don't mean to dismiss her feelings, but after giving birth I was incredibly sensitive and got upset over silly things. It's the hormones. You need to give her a cuddle, say you are sorry for upsetting her. Talk about how beautiful your child is. The feeling is like pmt on steroids, it's completely out of her control.

It is funny, but not to a hormonal new mother.

StealthPolarBear · 07/02/2017 19:39

That's pretty crap tbh. Your brother is a teenager but you and your mum are the baby's dad and grandma. Don't you think she's the most beautiful baby ever?
Your wife has just been through a lot and is post natal. In case you hadn't noticed it can be a difficult time.

ActuallyThatsSUPREMECommander · 07/02/2017 19:39

Wait. Say nothing. Bring lots of cups of tea and plates of toast. You can't expect perspective and the ability to take a joke from a brand new, heavily sleep deprived mother of a PFB. (Some may achieve it but they are actual superhumans)

Thisrabbitthatrabbit · 07/02/2017 19:42

Sorry but I think the brothers comment was awful. I know teenagers can sometimes put there foot in it but I knew at fourteen not to insult a newborn baby. I think you should apologise and so should he.

ArriettyClock1 · 07/02/2017 19:44

She is hormental - she will have to just get over it.

It could be worse - my friend's gp told her her baby was ugly! (He was very alarming looking, but that's not the point!)

Rooiboscz · 07/02/2017 19:45

Stupid thing for a fourteen year old to say and I can't believe your mother laughed. Can't see how that's funny, but then I'm an adult.

StealthPolarBear · 07/02/2017 19:46

I don't agree arrietty.
The bounty photo of ds made him look like a frog. I could only laugh because I knew he looked nothing like that really. Thinking your baby is beautiful, and having that reinforced by the people around you, is an important part of being a new parent.

redexpat · 07/02/2017 19:48

Ds looked like Voldemort.

Isadora2007 · 07/02/2017 19:49

user1486495351 Could be the mum of the baby. Or the fiancée to her fiancée... 👭
And "hormental" is that like a really offensive mix of hormonal and mental? Or just an error?

Yes she may be hormonal but your brother was also quite insensitive and I'd have been annoyed if my son said that about any baby no matter his own niece.

I'd just apologise for laughing...

Bin85 · 07/02/2017 19:50

If you can't say nothing nice
Don't say anything at all!!

OhTheRoses · 07/02/2017 19:54

Your brother and mother were unspeakable. So were you to have joined in and not bawled them out. This is your child. Odd joke if you ask me. You need to apologise for them and for your own lack of response.

FearTheLiving · 07/02/2017 19:54

Most babies look like testicles. Apart from mine. She looked like a squished piglet.

gamerchick · 07/02/2017 19:55

New mother? You're lucky she's talking to you at all. You never ever say or agree that a newborn is anything less than beautiful. You just don't do it even if you think otherwise.

monkeyfacegrace · 07/02/2017 19:57

Sorry but it's quite funny

Most babies are absolutely gopping. Squashed face little aliens.

I've had 3, and only my premmie was cute. The other two were minging

bummymummy77 · 07/02/2017 20:00

I may find it funny now but if you'd said that when ds was born I'd have punched you all in the mouth, pulled all my hair out and cried for a week.

Poor lass.

IntoTheDeep · 07/02/2017 20:02

DS1 was a properly odd looking baby when he was a newborn - we had practically every medical professional who saw him pointing that out to us.

But, even knowing that someone might have a point if they made an unflattering comparison between DS1 and something else, I'd have been really cross at someone making fun of his odd appearance. And even more cross if my DH and MIL joined in. It's cruel and insensitive to be making jokes like that about a newborn baby.

I think you all need to apologise unreservedly. Comments about it being funny, just joking around etc aren't going to help.

BornStroppy · 07/02/2017 20:03

Your brother sounds totally ignorant.

HeyRoly · 07/02/2017 20:06

What a malicious thing to say.

It's not like your brother didn't realise your partner would be upset by it.

Frazzled2207 · 07/02/2017 20:12

Think it was a pretty immature and nasty thing to say.

If it helps my nearly 2yo looked diabolical when he was born, looking back at the pics! (Of course I thought he was heavenly at the time). He grew into a beautiful baby after a few weeks though.

Scentofwater · 07/02/2017 20:12

My midwife said my dd was beautiful, I said I thought she looked a bit like golumn which got me a stern telling off.

Your brother was a bit silly saying that in front of a new mum.

I think you need to go be as helpful/loving/caring as you possibly can be (nappy changing especially) and reassure her that your baby is beautiful. Then try to change the subject rather than go on about it.

DixieNormas · 07/02/2017 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1486495351 · 07/02/2017 20:30

Thanks everyone for your very mixed opinions and advice!
I'll probably just keep apologising and stuff and make my brother apologise- and to the people saying it was a stupid thing to say he is an idiot so I'm not suprised he said an idiotic thing...
Thanks!

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TrojanWhore · 07/02/2017 20:42

The problem isn't with the teenager who had a spectacular lapse. That can be forgiven, as adolescence is still a time to learn better.

The massive problem is with the others who laughed along.

abbsisspartacus · 07/02/2017 20:50

My daughter had a flat nose I would have gone nuts if anyone had commented negatively about her

Her 14 year old uncle bought flowers and said um yes she looks tiny?

user1486495351 · 07/02/2017 21:00

"The massive problem is with the others who laughed along."

TroganWhore, I can't help laughing... and it was pretty funny

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