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How can I get dd to like herself?

(1 Post)
Reastie Mon 06-Feb-17 15:17:28

Dd is 6 and on and off for about a year she tells me she doesn't like herself. When I ask her why she tells me she doesn't like her face, it's always her face she doesn't like. She tells me she wants to change it. Once she said it was because her mouth isn't big enough (I think she meant she wanted a bigger smile). To me she looks beautiful but I sympathise as I have low self esteem and have never liked the way I look. I'm very careful never to make any negative comments about how I look and I'm not very looks based in general.

Over the months I've struggled with how to deal with this effectively hoping she would improve. I've talked to her about it's what's on the inside that's important and she's a generous, thoughtful, and caring person. I've talked to her about how not everyone likes how every part of themselves looks and that's ok but just because you don't like it doesn't mean others won't, and that you grow to like the things you may not like.

I'm really rubbish at these things (I do try though) and once I even got into a discussion about plastic surgery with her blush . Not obviously that she should have it done if she didn't like parts of herself, but that some people worry so much about how they look that they have operations to make them look different and they think it will make them happy but it doesn't always and it's far better to accept yourself. I cringed at myself on that one.

I tell her she is beautiful and I wouldn't change anything about her but I don't think it counts from her mum and I can see her just glazing over that it doesn't change how she feels. I've tried to get her to do positive affirmations with me but they haven't worked at all.

Since this has been going on for so many months I feel like I need to build up her confidence in herself and I'm not sure how to tackle this. She has hobbies and is doing quite well at school. Her dislike of herself seems to revolve around her face and she doesn't like what she sees in the mirror.

Any help or book or link recommendations or thoughts gratefully received.

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