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Holding newborn too much?

(163 Posts)
PeachBellini123 Sat 04-Feb-17 18:24:02

Bit confused by this: had a visit from the health visitor yesterday. I find her perfectly nice but not terribly helpful.

DS was a bit grouchy after being weighed so I gave him a cuddle to settle him. He was soon fast asleep so sat with him in my arms.

Healh visitor said I should be putting him in his cot whenever he was tired as otherwise he'd get use to my heartbeat and smell and never sleep on his own .

I was a bit surprised at this. DS is pretty good at going in his cot at night but does need to be help until he's asleep then e
he can be put down. Surely this is okay? He's only 4 weeks! I wouldn't expect him to self settle yet.

PeachBellini123 Sat 04-Feb-17 18:24:55

Sorry held until he's asleep. Typing and jiggling a baby is not easy.

EssieTregowan Sat 04-Feb-17 18:25:13

She's a dick. Smile and nod and carry on cuddling your baby.

WowserBowser Sat 04-Feb-17 18:26:21

My dd is 3 months and i still hold her all the time. She sleeps amazingly at night in her moses basket.

It makes me sad what some HVs suggest. They are already used to our heartbeats.

Isadora2007 Sat 04-Feb-17 18:26:45

No such thing as holding a baby too much. Maybe your HV wasn't held enough as a child 🙄
Ignore. And carry on cuddling...

ImperialBlether Sat 04-Feb-17 18:27:00

She would have hated me!

I think it's good for babies to be put down in their cots, but in the situation you describe I would have held him.

Mind you when you have another baby you'll probably find you put him/her in the cot more often, just to get things done. Make the most of this time!

Mapless Sat 04-Feb-17 18:27:50

I'd follow your instincts. I let mine do the same as yours, especially my youngest. She is a fab sleeper and when she was older would sleep through until 8am. Still is! If you are happy to do it and it feels right, it probably is.

Timetogrowup2016 Sat 04-Feb-17 18:28:50

No don't worry I wish I had held my newborn more and focused less on getting her in her cot .
Dd is 12 months and Hates cuddles now . Enjoy it

WowserBowser Sat 04-Feb-17 18:28:50

My message was brief as i am also typing and jiggling a baby grin

FlyingFordAnglia Sat 04-Feb-17 18:28:51

Rubbish!! No such thing as holding a baby too much. It's what they need. Keep doing as you are, sounds perfectly normal to me!!

tourbillon Sat 04-Feb-17 18:30:34

Your HV is a dinosaur with irrelevant and outdated opinions. I know some are helpful but quite a few are not and it's why I haven't let one near any other babies after my first! Follow your instincts.

PacificDogwod Sat 04-Feb-17 18:30:57

Ignore, ignore, ignore!

I agree with the advice to smile sweetly and then do what the hell you (and your DS) like.
She'll be using the phrase 'rod for your own back' next time, you watch... hmm

Waterfeature Sat 04-Feb-17 18:32:24

Little mammals like being close to the source of their food. Any sensible baby would prefer a cuddle to a cot. Silly woman.

monkeyfacegrace Sat 04-Feb-17 18:33:07

I only had babies so I could selfishly hold them constantly for the first few months.

I had a wrap sling and from morning to night, baby was strapped to me. I literally led an entirely normal life, dog walking, lunching, shopping, dozing, cleaning, all with baby glued to my front.

It was awesome.

Ignore HV.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Sat 04-Feb-17 18:33:31

Ignore her, babies are for snuggling 🤗

Mines 2 now and only wants cuddles when he's upset or is doing a poo grin

WowserBowser Sat 04-Feb-17 18:34:00

Oh i hate 'rod for your own back'!!

I love the newborn stage and i love cuddles.

Agree, she sounds outdated. My HVs were lovely this time round. It's luck of the draw i think.

EccentricPickle Sat 04-Feb-17 18:34:10

If I could give anyone with a newborn any advice it would be to hold them as much as possible! They don't stay that tiny and snuggly for long enough - make the most of it!!!

I didn't cuddle DD1 enough, imo as I was young and afraid "of making a rod for my own back". I sincerely regret it.

I cuddled DD2 to pieces. She's nearly 6 and has mostly been a great sleeper.

Anyway, so what if they get used to your smell and heartbeat? They're not going to want rocking to sleep when they're 16, are they?

Just smile and nod!

Bluebellevergreen Sat 04-Feb-17 18:35:59

Bullshit.
In my book grin it says that there is no such thing as holding too much. Jesus! A newborn doesnt have the thoughts of mmmmhhh if I get this lady to hold me now she wont let me go in a few months.
They want you because they are little are the world is cloudy and scary.
When you hold him he is releasing lots of food hormones that are making his brain develop lots of connections and he is happy amd smarter by the minute.

Ignore, what did your instinct tell you??!

I am actually very surprised that in this day and age a health visitor would tell you that tale.

Well done mum smile

OwlDoll Sat 04-Feb-17 18:36:33

Tell your HV to google the fourth trimester.

Bluebellevergreen Sat 04-Feb-17 18:37:00

Good hormones not food. I am hungry (third trimester)

ipswichwitch Sat 04-Feb-17 18:38:38

Your baby has spent 9 months getting used to your heartbeat, so it's hardly some new tangled thing for him now he's on the outside, so to speak. The HV is talking out of her arse.

I cuddled both of mine a lot, one sleeps well, self settles, sometimes even puts himself to bed and tells us to go away grin at the grand age of 3. He was the one who loved being in the sling, and I used to carry him all over. My 5yo is a shit sleeper, but that's due to (now resolved) health issues, not being cuddled lots.

RayofFuckingSunshine Sat 04-Feb-17 18:38:45

I really struggle to see why a baby getting used to it's mothers smell and heartbeat while sleeping is a problem TBH. They're tiny for such a short amount of time, let the poor thing sleep wherever it wants

Highlove Sat 04-Feb-17 18:46:03

Your HV is a twat. Ignore her.

user1471583707 Sat 04-Feb-17 18:47:54

Course it's ok! They are only little for such a short time enjoy your cuddles and ignore.

ISaySteadyOn Sat 04-Feb-17 18:48:18

Ignore her. Cuddle away.

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