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Is this just a developmental phase and will it pass - 4 month baby

(12 Posts)
OctopusLimbs Fri 03-Feb-17 09:41:47

Our little girl is nearly 4 months. She has never been the easiest baby. She has always cried a lot often for no obvious reason. Picking her up and holding her didn't seem to help much (although obviously I always did!) However, over time things have got easier - she's seems a little more chilled out and I guess I have got better at reading her.

Then just the last week or two everything has got much much harder again. She winges all day, it's a fight to get her to eat very much, it's a fight to get her to nap in the daytime, she won't go in her pram or car seat without crying. She cries to be picked up but squirms uncontrollably when I hold her. I have tried 3 slings but she doesn't really tolerate them for longer than half an hour if outside and not at all inside. She is also waking more at night, although currently this isn't too bad and is manageable.

I have read there is a developmental leap around 4 months so could this be causing it? Has anyone else been through a tough stage around now? I don't have any family locally so find it very tough when my husband is working and she is unsettled all day.

Chocolateorangegoblin Fri 03-Feb-17 09:44:26

Sounds completely normal for that age. Have you got the wonder weeks ap/book? They go through a lot of changes when they are small, there will be a lot of grumpier phases but they do always pass!

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 03-Feb-17 09:47:05

Sounds like it.
It all kicks off at around 4 months! Big developmental leap, sleep regression, some with start teething....I promise it will come to end!!

OctopusLimbs Fri 03-Feb-17 10:38:38

Thanks - its reassuring to hear it is normal - all the babies at baby groups seem so placid and happy the whole time!

I do have the Wonder Weeks book - I will have to fish it out, I had kind of dismissed it in the early days because she was unhappy all of the time so I don't think I noticed any different during those weeks previously. But I guess I am noticing this one a bit more now she is generally a bit more chilled.

LittleLionMansMummy Fri 03-Feb-17 19:45:48

It's the 4 month sleep regression/ growth spurt so most likely just a phase you need to ride out. Good luck.

dylsmimi Fri 03-Feb-17 19:49:42

We are going trhrough it too and its tough. It was a combination of a bad cd, injections sleep regression etc I think some people only see ds crying and screaming in his pram sad
So clingy and will only fall asleep on me
It's wearing - I am so glad you posted this- not because you are unhappy but it's made me feel I'm not alone and thins may improve cake brew

dylsmimi Fri 03-Feb-17 19:50:10

Bad cd??!!! Bad cold !!! Even my phone is sleep deprived

1000jobstodo Fri 03-Feb-17 21:58:40

Yes this was my daughter. Screaming and crying while all the other babies sat looking around the room. To me, if you can't console by cuddling etc, perhaps it's pain? I only say that because I put the massive increase in crying down to
Sleep regression but actually 2 teeth popped out just before 5 months? Maybe that's starting? But yes, it is a phase. My dd has only started sleeping properly at 2 years 3 months, and has always been more difficult than other children I see, but.. That's just some babies and although I still struggle, it's sometimes their determination and wish for independence. My dd as a baby was exactly the same as yours. Just a strong and determined personality sometimes, they feel everything 100% but from my experience it leads to a lovely, emotionally intelligent, strong willed, and kind child. Hang in there!

JagerPlease Fri 03-Feb-17 22:54:34

Everything seemed to hit at 4 months. Has she had her 16 week jabs recently by any chance? They added to the sleep regression and leap 4 generally lead to a few really unpleasant weeks

enchantmentandlove Fri 03-Feb-17 23:04:32

We had this too, dd is 7 1/2 months and has never been the easiest baby. At 4 months I remember a sleep regression hit (although her sleep was already pretty awful!), and teething also started. Have you got any teething gel or anything? Thankfully dd used to let me carry her a lot at that age which helped. If you think she may be in pain though don't hesitate to get her checked out just in case.

Like a pp said, my dd is a determined little girl as well and can be very sensitive - but that means she's also great at learning new things, and although she can become upset more easily than other babies, she also gets super excited and happy by little things and is now very loving and affectionate.

Please don't worry of your dd isn't like the other babies you see, they are all unique and as she grows you'll start to see her little personality more and more. Also, it will get easier!

OctopusLimbs Sat 04-Feb-17 12:12:35

Thanks everyone - reassuring to know it's reasonably common! I did wander about teething - she is drooling a lot and her cheeks can be quite pink. No sign of anything yet but could be everything shifting into place. I will try some teething gel! She did also have her jabs on Tuesday - she'd been like this from before then, but it certainly might have contributed.

She's never been a very cuddly baby, even as a new born she seemed less snuggly than other babies. She wants to be near you but she'd much rather be sat on your knee than cuddled in close. And she loves lying on her back looking up at your face. I think she finds cuddles too restrictive! I just took it to be her own little personality, but it is frustrating sometimes that I can't just cuddle things better!

People keep telling me difficult babies often lead to lovely, interesting and engaged little toddlers so I'm hanging onto that thought. I do think she is a bright little thing (although what mother doesn't!) as she just always wants to be doing something different and new. Sometimes I think part of the problem is boredom - the more we are out and about the less grumpy she seems.

1000jobstodo Sat 04-Feb-17 12:34:33

I would say that's definitely a sign that she's quite bright and wanting to be engaged and doing new things. My daughter wanted to be held upright only from a young age as laying as a newborn would was boring apparently. Please don't worry, it sounds like she knows what she wants and that's not a bad thing, especially as they get bigger. And the constant crying, if it continues and if your dd is that sort of baby, leads to hell of a chatterbox of a toddler. My daughters speech at her 2 year check was confusing for the health visitor, she questioned her age and looked at paperwork as she'd never heard such long sentences- I said its becayse she's 'talked' since day one and wants to be heard and talk about what she's seeing/experiencing etc. She's showing no signs of quietening down now, perhaps your dd will be the same?! Although my ears are practically bleeding by the end of each day, it's lovely to have such an engaging, loving toddler. Yes try the teething gel. Only one that worked for us when teeth were actually coming through was 'anbesol' which is bottled magic for the more fussy babies! Good luck with this phase

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