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Feel really down about my mummy skills

(6 Posts)
buckyou Wed 01-Feb-17 22:29:55

I'm due any day now with my 2nd so not sure if it's just tiredness/hormones taking over but I'm feeling really fed up!

My DD is nearly 20 months, she's just such a handful and can be quite difficult and I just feel really isolated and like everyone thinks it's my fault. I'm not sure if it is my fault or not!?

I don't think she does anything massively out of the ordinary just the usual moaning / kicking off when she doesn't get her way etc. But I don't feel like I'm consistent or generally strict enough with her and I think she is one to push the boundaries so I need to make sure I don't turn her into a brat! Can anyone advise how to apply consistent dicapline without just saying no, no, no continuously or being mean???

Another problem, she's never really been the friendliest of babies with people but stranger / seperation anxiety seems to have returned and she's not happy when anyone comes to the house, even her grandma who she is supposed to like! Any ideas how I should be dealing with this?

Feeling really blue. Why am I having another when I can't deal with the one I've got!?

phoolani Wed 01-Feb-17 22:35:49

Oh, we all think that when we're having a second, don't worry! I think it's good to remember that this is a weird/confusing time for her and her increased stranger anxiety is probably a reflection of that. She's knows another baby is coming and she won't be sure she likes that fact. She probably is playing up a bit vying for more attention, reassurance that she's still important. I wouldn't worry too much about discipline at the moment and even less so when the baby's born. It's a transition period for her, too and never really a comfortable one. Loads of reassurance, loads of love, discipline can take a back seat for a bit.

allthatnonsense Wed 01-Feb-17 22:44:13

Toddlers are massive weirdos. They are moody, contrary and demented with frustration.
My advice re discipline is to your battles. Decide what really matters and stick to your guns no matter what. The other stuff can be negotiated with bribes, fibs, distraction and by letting them occasionally win. After all, life is all about compromise and the sooner they learn the better they will be.

allthatnonsense Wed 01-Feb-17 22:44:33


buckyou Wed 01-Feb-17 22:47:58

Thank you! I'm not really sure how much she understands about the new baby, but she obviously can tell something is up!

I sometimes feel like I'm always making excuses for her and everyone else I know seems to have babies who are just much more calm and placid and they must think that it's me doing everything wrong! I worry what people think which I guess I shouldn't but also if I am at fault here I want to be able to do something about it.

I'll keep reassuring her and giving her lots of love. Feeling quite apprehensive of how things will be when the baby comes.. and we have loads of visitors!confused

buckyou Wed 01-Feb-17 22:54:26

Thanks allthatnonsense. I've not really paid that much attention to kids before so find it hard to know what's normal really. Family seem to imply that theirs weren't/aren't that bad, but then toddlers don't exactly have a reputation for being easy do they!?

I'll pick out a couple of things and enforce those without backing down. I think she just needs to know she can't get her way All the time.

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