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I'm sat here crying...

(24 Posts)
charley3005 Tue 31-Jan-17 23:22:44

As title suggests I have been sat here crying, DD in her swing fighting her sleep and has been since 7pm, screaming meltdowns and the like while DP is snoring away on the sofa! He's woke a few times and not offered to help me with her at all! I know I should say something to him but I really can't be bothered with the hassle! I don't really know why I'm posting I think I just needed to get it out as I have no one to talk to 😢

Iamastonished Tue 31-Jan-17 23:23:59

I can never understand how men can just switch off from parenting. You have my sympathy.

LexieLulu Tue 31-Jan-17 23:25:08

How old is your DD? Things get better, I've had so many meltdowns were I've sat on the world crying with a crying baby in my arms. We're human.

Hugs OP

LexieLulu Tue 31-Jan-17 23:25:48

Sat on the floor* oops! I can't even blame auto correct there

LoveDeathPrizes Tue 31-Jan-17 23:27:10

I remember the feeling well.

It gets better. Why don't you picked your little one up for a cuddle and a bath or something? Don't worry too much about anything tonight apart from calming down and resting.

charley3005 Tue 31-Jan-17 23:27:41

It amazes me!! He seems to be able to ignore her cries during the night aswell! He works stupid long shifts at random times so I just don't feel I have a break! Don't get me wrong I love my daughter and she is generally very happy but with friends here I feel very alone and would just love to get my hair cut! Luckily we are going to the in laws next week so might get some sort of break then! DD is only 7 weeks old, I hope it's not like this forever

charley3005 Tue 31-Jan-17 23:30:13

Love I had previously tried everything throughout the night and her swing seemed to be working, her eyes dropping and everything but then her eyes suddenly ping open when she realises she's going to sleep! I have got her now in my arms eventually asleep but typically I need the loo now!!

NurseRosie Tue 31-Jan-17 23:31:20

Ive had a night like this tonight op. I forced dh to take a turn and baby stopped crying but then started as soon as put down. Its a nightmare. Dh can not only switch off but give advice on what hes ignoring which is infuriating. Its a good job these babies are so cute x

PenguinRoar Tue 31-Jan-17 23:31:35

Can you take her to bed with you and co-sleep? That was my absolute path back to sanity, as we both got sleep and comfort.

Def book an appointment at hairdressers next week. In laws will prob be very excited to get your dd for a little while.


LexieLulu Tue 31-Jan-17 23:32:44

My son (first born) was like this, it was so hard! I feel like the first 3months I lived with him lying on my chest to get to sleep. I never had a break, was so emotional etc. But I promise things do get better and easier.

Men tend to have a zone out button. My husband can be awful for it but he means well, I'd hit him and wake him up as I'm cruel ha x

LoveDeathPrizes Tue 31-Jan-17 23:33:13

You're tired, you may well be covered in spit up, you look dreadful, you're probably so tired you're hallucinating and it's really hard to feel part of a team. This is the bit where that happens. There will be different challenges ahead but what you're feeling is pretty standard.

And yeah - how do they sleep through it?!

charley3005 Tue 31-Jan-17 23:34:14

NurseRosie DP also does this! 'Why is she crying?' ' what's up with her' if I knew that she wouldn't be pigging crying would she!!! I've joined a couple of baby groups but the women are all a fair bit older than me and I feel they look down at me- I'm 26! So can't see me getting any friends any time soon, I hope you MN ladies can be here for me instead

FastWindow Tue 31-Jan-17 23:36:14

Definitely cosleep. You won't roll on her no matter how tired- you have a newfound sense of your baby that wakes you up if they even so much as fart grin

I bought contoured foam pillows that I would lay the baby on lengthways. Baby can't roll off. Lifesaver, and so easy to move baby for bf, if you are, or for loo breaks, which you need!!

LoveDeathPrizes Tue 31-Jan-17 23:37:07

Ah don't worry too much about baby groups. Pot luck who you meet. Just take it a week at a time. Spring will make everything feel better.

FastWindow Tue 31-Jan-17 23:38:52

I'm 43 with a 6 and 3 yr old but I remember the first weeks. Well... Not the first two, to be totally honest grin a blur, but the rest, sure. Men seem to carry on as if nothing changes... It gets better, the child gets older, the men engage more. It'll be fine x

ThinkPinkStink Tue 31-Jan-17 23:43:00

I can't advise regards your DD's father as he's obviously being a useless shit.

But in solidarity - my darling, smiley little ball of gorgeous (DD 3.5 months) was an utter beast today, no morning nap, fitful noon nap and crying / whinging / squarking from 4pm onwards. She's just finally nodded off. I have no idea why they fight sleep, when it is so obviously what they need.

Tomorrow is another day, and it gets better.

FastWindow Tue 31-Jan-17 23:44:52

It does get better. I promise. X

MrsA2015 Tue 31-Jan-17 23:46:30

I've been through this. Co-sleeping will save you! Also don't expect any sleep or help so that when you do get some it feels absolutely amazing.

LoveDeathPrizes Tue 31-Jan-17 23:56:46

My first still doesn't sleep through (she's 4) and we tried everything. With my DD2 (3 months) I thought 'sod it' and just let her lead. She just sleeps tucked up under my arm. Must admit, co-sleeping has been bliss but didn't really work for DD1! Having said that, she loves it - she'd just rather talk all night!

clumsyduck Wed 01-Feb-17 00:02:47

I remember a lightbulb moment when ds was a Similair age along the lines of "oh it won't be like this forever " as though I seriously didn't realise that he wouldn't always be crying the house down every night !! So I don't have much advice other than hang on in there !! flowers

FastWindow Wed 01-Feb-17 00:05:17

I must say... It's midnight, so dd3 will wake to get up and have a wee on the loo soon. Then she will want me to cuddle up so she can sleep. She zonks immediately and I can go to bed. I don't mind- it's a real treat now that she doesn't really need me. That's how far you get, and the proof that nothing lasts forever.

LoveDeathPrizes Wed 01-Feb-17 00:18:06

^ This ^ My first is at preschool now and our cuddle time is when we talk properly.

Mama2708 Wed 01-Feb-17 00:52:17

Don't even get me started on how easy men can zone out and sleep all night. I cannot!!!!! You have my sympathy and I totally understand.

I promise you that it does get better, hang in there and just know that you aren't alone. There are hundreds of mamas out there needing sleep and wanting to put a pillow over their husbands head whilst he sleeps peacefully.

You can do this


NurseRosie Wed 01-Feb-17 04:55:03

I know what you mean op. We went to a group this week and its at a time lo usually sleeps (which could be anytime really) and he woke uo because needed a nappy change then had terrible wind, then cried and then needed a feed and then cried with wind, it was not successful. The leader made me stay as its important to be part of the group, which is a lovely idea but i felt awful stood in the corner with a screamer while they all tried to concentrate on the class. They were mostly experienced second time mums with good babies. Im worried that lo sleeps too much. He's 11 weeks and sleeps alot, and then you see all of these mums sat there with wide eyed little beauties taking in the world. There are some nice mums who don't appear to judge though but i don't think I'll break into the cliques. The staff are great there though.

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